How many Aspies and Autistics use Scripting here?

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I don't really use scripting because I can talk a lot. I'm not a quiet type of person and find it easy to talk about my interests. I usually engage with things that are my interests so I don't need to talk about anything else. As for the stupid questions, I just don't respond and redirect the conversation.

Scripting is necessary if you want to get along in society. I use it all the time. And it's good for me, too, because It takes little energy and is efficient.

It's boring and not intellectually nor emotionally stimulating.

wow, thanks for insulting all of us who require it to get by with people.

edit to add*: why did you come into a thread about a challenge some of us have just to let us know it's not at all a problem for you and then judge us for the method we use to deal with said challenge you don't have??

Last edited by starvingartist on 23 Apr 2014, 11:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

ouch :/

well i cant have small talk without my script.

wtf how is that an insult? I'm just saying how I find scripting to be and why I don't use it. I'm not talking on behalf of anyone else here.

Other people like small talk because they do find it emotionally stimulating. I don't, so I don't want to put myself through it, even though I understand how it's easy to script. Everyone else has a choice, I'm just saying how it is for me.

Last edited by MathGirl on 23 Apr 2014, 11:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

my addendum explains why it's rude and insulting.

but if you need it spelled out: i don't enjoy small talk at all, but sometimes it is required for the sake of politeness that i participate in it. because i'm not sufficiently socially facile i can't steer all small talk towards my interests, so instead i choose to use scripting--not because it's boring and stupid and i dig boring and stupid, but because most days it's all i can manage without coming off as insane or rude.

Last edited by starvingartist on 23 Apr 2014, 11:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I wanted to add a different perspective - i.e. it's not always OBLIGATORY to engage in small talk. I've been able to get by in the society just fine by explaining my discomfort with small talk and not engaging it. I don't know how or why, but that's the truth.

i return to my point that some of us don't have the ease in social situations that you seem to have and so don't have that option, but you continue to rub our faces in how that's not a problem for you and because of that you have options we don't, and are surprised that we feel insulted.

aren't you in a psych program in uni? what are they teaching you?????

I have very poor social awareness, I am myself trying to figure out why I can do this and why others can't. I am myself confused right now and I have never gotten answers from other people. Maybe it's just a difference in personality - I know several people with AS who just talk non-stop and are in-your-face kinds of people. I wrote here to answer the question and explained why. I don't understand why stating differences is insulting. I am not saying YOU do it because it's boring/unstimulating.

Maybe I have learned something from the psych program that made me feel more socially at ease, despite still not processing social situations properly. I honestly did not pick up on what might have been offensive about my post and was in shock at the responses, which is why I followed through with it. I am NOT a socially adept individual, and anyone who knows me in person and can pick up on that kind of stuff would say this about me. I want to know what is so special about me that makes me able to avoid scripts... I really do.

Well, it would be nice if small talk made any sence. Wtf is "how are you, anyways"? I think people made that up just to confuse autistic people.

And why do they insist on saying repetitious things, that everyone really doesn't give a square about. I think they do that unpurpose, just to give autistic people a sensory overload.

Those people in a store that give you a fake smile, ask if they can help you, and try, even though they don't really know what you are talking about, or where anything is. What is that? The corporate way?

well to me, and maybe them, it kind of came across as you thinking you are 'above' using scripts. that only boring and unintelligent people use them. but i am easily offended and it seems like that wasn't your intention. i am also a very quiet person, and i am not at all interested in small talk, but my job requires it, and since i always try to be very polite in order to not draw negative attention to myself, i will respond to a persons small talk with scripting. i would rather not, but i feel that would make people dislike me even more than it seems they do. do you feel like anyone ever negatively responds even when you explain you don't like small talk? just wondering. maybe i will give that a try.

when i worked in retail my managers were really really strict about this! all the workers hated it, and i always felt like an idiot, but it is better than getting fired.

sorry, i get a little hairy about things sometimes but psych is actually one of main special interests--it developed as a coping mechanism for growing up with a profoundly disturbed parent and sibling. unfortunately learning about people has had the exact opposite effect on me that it seems to have had on you--the more i understand how people's minds work (including my own), the MORE socially awkward i feel and the more i desire to keep to myself because i am too staggered by my complete incompatibility with most people and their way of life (generally referred to around here as the "other planet"). i have come to a place that i am able to accept and appreciate my own difference, but i don't expect anyone else to and i'm ok with that. so scripting works for me.

No, that wasn't my intention at all. I still kind of have trouble making this inference and I would never have predicted that reaction. Yeah, if you're already at a highly superficially social job (e.g. retail - is that where you work?), explaining to everyone and expecting them to understand might not be a good idea. I work with a certain group of people regularly, so they have had the chance to get to know me and I have had the chance to explain my issues with small talk to them well. It also works with friends or classmates, but probably not with people you only see for two seconds.

I actually do use a script in explaining my discomfort with it, but it's a different kind of script. I usually start from their point of view; I say that small talk tends to make most people feel comfortable but it actually does the opposite to me. I then elaborate, saying that there are three main reasons why this is so: being bombarded with questions makes me very anxious because it is pressuring, I don't feel comfortable talking in vague terms because it feels like a form of lying to me, and I also feel overwhelmed because of the emotions expressed in small talk. I then say that the most comfortable way for me to converse is a parallel exchange of specific ideas and facts. It might also be helpful to state that it is nothing personal, just a general discomfort I have, and add something nice at the end (generic example: I find you amazing person and I would like to be able to be comfortable around you and engage with you). Personally this has worked for me in the past, except for more superficial things like job interviews, which I do script and prepare for intensely (and they are exhausting!).

With people you will see over and over again, these things are worth explaining because people will be more aware and even if they forget, they will likely not take it personally if you do hedge the small talk. I never had to explain to one person more than once.

Oh, okay. Interesting - I have noticed a divide between how I work and how others work through studying psychology, but I guess I just have acknowledged it as the way it is and then thought of ways to work with it to navigate my social environment. I use "reinforcements" and "punishments" a lot with non-autistic people, for example; in real life, I tend to intentionally ignore negativity from people and reinforce desirable responses, such as saying something nice about someone. I learned how to do this purely through studying psychology. Personally, I've found myself surrounded with accepting people and am often amazed at how sincerely kind and approachable some people can be. This might be the case because there are a lot of people in my environment who are generally more open than the average population to learning about human diversity and including everyone (i.e. psychology students/faculty).

Funny that Karla (whose page I am slightly obsessed with) had just posted a blurb on small talk. She describes it quite well, too, I think (see the last status update): https://www.facebook.com/pages/Karlas-A ... 41?fref=nf