Share some of your Aspergian humor.

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"duck!" "where?"

As in an episode of "Due South" where Fraser and Vecchio and tracking an armed-and-dangerous suspect through the snow-bound woods.

Fraser says "Duck!" and Vechio dives into a snow drift saying "Where?" (IIRC).

Fraser then continues to point out the duck sitting to one side of the trail, gives its full species, etc, and mentioning that he was surprised, as it was an unusual time of year to see such a duck.

It's pretty funny...

My mother loves A&W root beer so when I went to CostCo last week, I decided to buy her a case of them so she could enjoy it with dinner or whatnot.

Well, I carried them into her house and she says, "Oh, just stick half of them in my fridge and half of them in my car."

Well, I got half to the fridge, but was walking out to the car when the box I was carrying them in ripped. I waited for them to stop rolling and then waited for instruction. (The loud noise of them clanging on the floor was enough to make me freeze up for about 10 seconds)

My mother, not really thinking about her phrasing as she used to when I lived at home said, "Just throw them in the back of the car."

I tossed three in and she goes, "What in the world are you doing?"

All I could reply was, "Well, Mother, you did say to throw them."

She shook her head and walked inside and I continued tossing. ;^).

Typical Aspie trait- doing EXACTLY and literally what you are told without thinking about the colloquialisms first (or the sarcasm).

I did that! Although I think half of it was trying to be entertaining!

Ah, several years back, Barbara Walters interviewed David Copperfield. Her question to him was this:

"How do you want your tombstone to read? 'David Copperfield.....'"...

While he was thinking, I blurted out, ".....Disappears!"

Prof_Pretorius signature: England prevails!! !

Now that's comedy!

faithfilly liked this story in another thread, so at her request, here it is again, ASP's revenge 2, 'There's no Smoke without Fire' .Apologies to those who've read it before, the amount of re-runs these days, it's ridiculous :-

I've talked about my art class before. There's a woman there who has taken a dislike to me for no reason I can think of. I'm getting used to her now and she doesn't bother me so much. I try not to sit by her but today I had no choice.
At breaktime she went to the cafe for a coffee with her clique. Me being a Billy no mates, went outside for a ciggie. I went back into class and her gang were back. I sat down, and she said 'oh, I can smell smoke'! I didn't say anything. Because she wasn't getting any reaction, she said again 'There's a dreadful smell of smoke in here!'. I carried on drawing and said in a whisper, like I was talking to myself, 'maybe your arse in on fire'.Shocked I know, it was not like me at all! It just kind of slipped out. It was bad of me, but she does wind me up.
She didn't say anything, surprisingly, I think she was gobsmacked. I just carried on drawing like I'd not said anything but I could see her out of the corner of her eye watching me like she was trying to figure out if she'd heard right. Yes, you sure did Mrs!
One up to the Aspies! Revenge is sweet.

A professor of mine started the class by hesitantly saying: "Let's begin, so that we..." and never finished his phrase. I whispered to a friend: "Let's begin, so that we begin"

I've seen some great aspie/autism T-shirts.

"I live in my own little world. It's OK, they know me here."

"I'm not rude, aloof or stuck up...I have Asperger's syndrome. What's your excuse?"

"Parenting advice NOT appreciated, unless you also have an autistic child."

"I have attention defi-Ooh! look! a bug!"

"CURE ALL NEUROTYPICALS!-Offended? Good!-Now you know how we feel!"

This is a Star Trek DS9 one I saw in a 'top Ten bumper stickers you might see on the 'Defiant' list.

"Klingon at tactical. Bajoran in command. Think about it before you tailgate."

This one is all mine....

"Genetics-I don't gove a 46,XX about anything else!"

JulieArticuno

I guess the third ant thinks"as there is an ant in front of me, there must be an ant behind me". As the first and second ants had ants behind them he does not look . Maybe later he thinks to look and says "there is no ant behind me

Descartes is sitting in a bar. The bartender asks "would you like some beer?" Descartes replies, "I think not!" and disappears into a huge puff of logic.

When i was getting diagnosed i used to laugh at the term "Asperger". Because i immediately thought "Asperger ... Ass Burger?". Now, i realise it was me just being a child.

Pardon ??

haha

Last edited by hyperbolic on 22 Feb 2007, 2:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Bavaria's House of Wittelsbach shall rule over you all after the great Jacobite uprising of 2048.

An ad on WP: "Does Britney look better bald or with hair? Vote now..."

haha