Can't connect and identify.

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I have talked to several people about this and liking artistic things seems to be a human/culture thing in general. It just seems that people on the spectrum are more likely to develop a fixated interest in these things, while non-autistic people can have art/entertainment-related interests and focus on more practical things at the same time. I also wonder if people with ASD gravitate toward these things more because they are usually solitary in nature, thus there is no social confusion and/or rejection.

I haven't PMed you yet and not sure if I will because I noticed you live in Barrie and I'm in Toronto. It's kind of far for me to travel and I simply don't spend enough time in front on the Internet and on this site to be able to secure any sort of online relationship. Additionally, I get inundated with emails on a daily basis and don't want to add to the load of messages I already have to deal with. However, a friend of mine whom you have PMed is going to refer you to an ASD group in Barrie that you might be interested in attending. This group might give you a chance to meet some similar-minded folk.

Interestingly, I've been able to connect with many just through shared experiences, even though our interests often diverge. However, I've been scared that admitting my disinterest in the above would make me less than human in their eyes. Whenever I feel too different from most people I've met, I start doubting myself, but now I realize there are others out there who are like me in this respect.

I like to draw and make purrrty pictures, but I don't like to talk about art, and I don't know much about art, and I don't have much time to do any art, because I am completely obsessed with science instead, and my brain can only obsess over one thing at a time at the verry merry berry obsessive level that it obsesses at.

I certainly appreciate that, please excuse my forwardness. I never had any intention of taking you out of your way (or meeting in person until it was appropriate). I'm really just looking for new friends in the general area (given the diverse countries of origin in this community).

I seem to be able to connect with some people by making my passion for and understanding of a topic obvious, I am lucky enough that some people seem to value my different viewpoint even if I can be at times abrasive or insistent. This works initially, and sometimes for long enough to develop enough rapport for friendship or at least mutual respect. At the same time, it can end disastrously by being dismissed as undesirable, missing "obvious" social cues that my input is unwelcome, or by (unconsciously) driving away those I thought friends due to faux-pas. I don't think anyone should scorn disinterest in a topic, we're all different. Just make the distinction that disinterest in a specific topic does not equate to disinterest in the person, just try to change the subject.

Self doubt is crippling, I know. When you want to act/say/do what you think is right, then run smack into the "What if what I say is offensive or hurtful?" wall and get lost in the hundred potential fallout scenarios so you end up suffering in silence. This is doubly true when I want/need to express strong emotion like pain or affection.

In my opinion, acting NT in this way takes too much energy and is detrimental to my state of mind. To prevent this from being seen as "an excuse to act badly," I set high standards for myself (I don't always succeed in sticking to them) to my best understanding. I find it easier to obsess over philosophy/justice/goodness and try to emulate the people I admire so that all people see is my passion and goodness. Quirky comes though, but I think in this context it is seen as endearing. Why would I lie when the truth serves me better?

Oh I wish I could meet you guys! I'm a systemizer as well, but I have no imagination problems. I escape into my head as my stim. Still, I love astrophysics and high fantasy. Just not The Wheel of Time or Harry Potter (the rules make no sense).

I was thinking of attending a group to see if I would finally find someone who is just like me, but I suppose I shouldn't get my hopes too high.