My brother's eating habit make me panic/meltdown

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This kind of sounds like dursley-esque favoritism. if that is the case bringing the complaint to your parents is pointless and you need to seek an outside opinion first. If you bring up the issue your parents will reject it because it came from you, if someone else brings it up then it will have more credibility. On the other hand if you bring it up first then ask for help your parents will discredit the outside perspective as being "put up to" by you.

I don't have money or transportation to the doctor without my parents; they won't bring me without a reason first. I can't really function in life on my own... So if my parents don't see my dying now I'll have to wait for it to get worse until they have to do something. Although honestly I eat a lot better when my dad is home because he feeds me and cooks with me and he doesn't guilt me, that's all my mom.

I would stand up to your parents. There is absolutely NO reason they should be making YOU feel guilty for your brother eating all of that food. You are developing an eating disorder because you are being scapegoated for other peoples' problems.

You seem to be feeling neglected. Perhaps you should inform your family about this at a time that you don't feel mad, and hopefully they will understand. If they do, they will work things out so that both you and your brother will be content.

I know that not being angry is difficult when talking about something that is personally disturbing, but this helps others understand why you are upset. Once they know, they should be eager to help in any way they can. This may come with some tears, but I have found that tears of general distress is not as bad as tears of anger.

League_Girl, how do you two decide who gets what and the quantity that you and your hubby is supposed to get? What algorithm do you use? Do you two split it in half? What about your child? Do you split it into thirds so your child gets a third of it as well?

We don't do that anymore because my parents and us live together now and we have kids now so I don't care about splitting food anymore. It's more like you snooze you lose if you don't eat something that was made and bam it's all gone. They buy the food or us and we put the receipt in the jar with our name on it and at the end we split the bills and see who owes money so we both paid the same amount. My husband and my parents do it so I don't really understand how it works. Whoever pays a bill puts their name on it and puts it in the jar.

Back when I was splitting food, I always asked if my husband had any yet and most of the time he told me I could have the rest so I would just eat it. Same as if he told me I could have the rest of something like cake or ice cream or pop tart or fruit snack. It was always me who was splitting the food and saving stuff for him to have.

Maybe you can talk to your dad privately about feeling like you are going to die of starvation because of your mom guilt-tripping you and your brother eating all your food. Tell him you feel trapped and miserable and like you are not even a human being. Don't hold back if you feel like crying. Using language likes this helps NTs understand how serious the situation is. If neither of your parents takes you seriously after you tell them that you are starving and underweight, you need to devise a plan to keep food hidden - a secret minifridge under your bed (or a locked one!), secret stashes in your closet, etc. Sneak food out of the kitchen into your room if you have to. You have the same rights to the food as your brother and you should fight feelings of guilt. It is not normal to feel guilty about eating when you are dangerously underweight like that, it is the result of your mother's emotional abuse (guilt-tripping is absolutely emotional abuse) and you should try to fight against it.

I do not understand why anyone is bringing up your sperm count in this scenario, that has nothing to do with your brother receiving favoritism (or it BETTER not!), and frankly is a very personal and medical issue that no one should ever be throwing in your face. For crying out loud, maybe the REASON it's low is because you can't get enough calories to keep your body running?! I know underweight women often lose their periods, maybe it's something like that.

Can't you try solving this situation through your dad? Tell him exactly what's going on so maybe he can fix it?

Is your brother gaining weight? If he's gorging himself yet is staying the same weight or even losing weight, he might have hyperthyroidism. Some other symptoms are intolerance to heat/increased tolerance to cold, anxiety, insomnia, high blood pressure, etc. If not, it could be that he's not getting enough nutrients from the gluten-free food and is eating more to compensate. He could also have developed binge eating disorder or bulimia or depression.

Regardless of the reason, you are being abused AND neglected. Not only are you in an immediately unsafe situation, your parents are committing a crime. Your profile says that you're over 18 and in Louisiana, so I suggest calling your state's Adult Protective Services department at 1-800-898-4910. It's basically CPS for disabled or elderly people.
Main site: http://www.dhh.la.gov/index.cfm/page/120/n/126
FAQ: http://www.dhh.la.gov/index.cfm/faq/category/15

As for your girlfriend's comment about sperm, that was clueless to the extreme if not outright transphobic.

Good luck.

Last edited by NicholasName on 10 May 2014, 8:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.

That might not be a terrible idea, from the sound of it he is a bit more understanding and actually makes an effort.