off topic responses
Ah, yes! This happens all the time to me. As a child, ( ten, eleven, twelve years old, and perhaps before that too), I remember that I would ask questions that were completely off topic during conversations. For example, this could have happened:
My family and I are driving home from someplace, and having a conversation about a special event coming up. At twelve years old I am looking out the window and see two squirrels. this makes me wonder... I ask "mummy, what do you think that animals would say if they could talk?" For some reason, that would cause a storm of laughter in the car! I would not understand, but might as well join in with the giddiness!
I try to stay on topic now. If I have a question, I will explain how the question popped into my head: "I was just thinking of this, and this made me think of that (my question)". However, just about a week ago I realized that I still struggle with this.
My mum, sister and I were talking about something (I can't really remember what it was about). The subject changed, but I was still pondering about the previous one. I had something to say about it, so I naturally just said it. Afterwards, my sister said "we were off of this topic for a few minutes already".
Sometimes it is a good idea to change the subject. It has happened before that a conversation directed to me felt very heated, so I asked the people talking negatively about me and to me "what do you think of the weather"? I told my mum about the situation, and she said to me that I did the right thing.
The idea of staying on the topic is still difficult for me to understand, unless it can be hurtful or negative. Does this habit come naturally to NTs, or is not changing the subject a social rule that has been invented by society?
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conundrum
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This doesn't seem that odd to me. Kids notice things and just say what they think about whatever-it-is, right? That's not exactly off-topic--you're mentioning something that is present, or at least nearby.
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The existence of the leader who is wise
is barely known to those he leads.
He acts without unnecessary speech,
so that the people say,
'It happened of its own accord.' -Tao Te Ching, Verse 17
A complex, chaotic system attempting to self-regulate.
Animal supercomputers.
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"?I love not man the less, but Nature more.? - Byron
"Just because you're paranoid, don't mean they're not after you" - Nirvana
I am an animal. Not normal is not bad. Question all. Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness for all!
This doesn't seem that odd to me. Kids notice things and just say what they think about whatever-it-is, right? That's not exactly off-topic--you're mentioning something that is present, or at least nearby.
You are probably right. I just made up this example, so it might not be completely accurate. However, I have caused my family to burst out laughing because of questions I asked that had nothing to do with what they were talking about. In this example, I ask the question about animals without saying that I saw squirrels, and nobody else has seen them. I don't remember most of the real incidents, but for some reason I feel like the few I remember are too strange to even mention here.
My younger siblings never seemed to struggle with this like I did.
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There is a purpose for everything.
This doesn't seem that odd to me. Kids notice things and just say what they think about whatever-it-is, right? That's not exactly off-topic--you're mentioning something that is present, or at least nearby.
You are probably right. I just made up this example, so it might not be completely accurate. However, I have caused my family to burst out laughing because of questions I asked that had nothing to do with what they were talking about. In this example, I ask the question about animals without saying that I saw squirrels, and nobody else has seen them. I don't remember most of the real incidents, but for some reason I feel like the few I remember are too strange to even mention here.
My younger siblings never seemed to struggle with this like I did.
Probably doesn't bother younger siblings much if they're used to being understood most of the time.
I think its OK to change the topic convo -- but --- you need to make sure it doesn't become something only you are interested in.
During a meeting at work, it is VERY important to stick on topic. Especially if you need to go to the bathroom
(And yes I get the random posts. Good one!)
I notice I also have a tendency to stay on a topic after it has shifted. As a child I was harshly scolded for interrupting and even now as an adult I struggle with knowing when to jump into a conversation when in a group of people that keep jabbering on. Often times I'll have something relevant I want to say, but by the time I get to the topic has shifted and my comment seems odd in the current context. It's really frustrating.
I also remember a time that I was talking to my roommate in college and his phone rang. I patiently waited for him to finish and when he was finished, I jumped right back into the conversation we were having. He stared at me blankly and said, "What are you talking about?" It just seemed natural for me to continue where we had left off, but that seemed absolutely bizarre to him. Maybe I thought the prior conversation was more important than he did.
conundrum
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Joined: 25 May 2010
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I also remember a time that I was talking to my roommate in college and his phone rang. I patiently waited for him to finish and when he was finished, I jumped right back into the conversation we were having. He stared at me blankly and said, "What are you talking about?" It just seemed natural for me to continue where we had left off, but that seemed absolutely bizarre to him. Maybe I thought the prior conversation was more important than he did.
This happens to me too. Why wouldn't someone want to finish a thought, even if he was derailed from it temporarily?
_________________
The existence of the leader who is wise
is barely known to those he leads.
He acts without unnecessary speech,
so that the people say,
'It happened of its own accord.' -Tao Te Ching, Verse 17
I also remember a time that I was talking to my roommate in college and his phone rang. I patiently waited for him to finish and when he was finished, I jumped right back into the conversation we were having. He stared at me blankly and said, "What are you talking about?" It just seemed natural for me to continue where we had left off, but that seemed absolutely bizarre to him. Maybe I thought the prior conversation was more important than he did.
I agree; this can be very frustrating. I think that there should be a rule that after someone finishes talking, people should wait three seconds before jumping in. Or a talking tool (an object that a person has to hold in order to jump into the conversation, such as a stick or a rubber ball) can give everyone a chance to say what they want to say.
I am thinking that you may not have been the reason that your roommate acted like you did something strange. Maybe the conversation on the phone caused your roommate to feel some distress for some reason?
_________________
There is a purpose for everything.
I also remember a time that I was talking to my roommate in college and his phone rang. I patiently waited for him to finish and when he was finished, I jumped right back into the conversation we were having. He stared at me blankly and said, "What are you talking about?" It just seemed natural for me to continue where we had left off, but that seemed absolutely bizarre to him. Maybe I thought the prior conversation was more important than he did.
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"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."
Wreck It Ralph
I was having a conversation with a friend today and I realized how difficult it was for me to focus and stay on topic and keep the conversation flowing in a "Normal" way. It was very very hard and it took a lot of effort. I never realized how hard it is to do that if I am not talking about something that interests me. And it was not like what he was saying did not interest me, I was quite interested and I felt honored and glad that he was telling me the things he was telling me. The hard part was that it was not a conversation that focused on what I was really super interested in so even though I wanted to really understand and listen, it was challenging to do that. It seems like when I have a conversation I always want to jump in with my thoughts rather than really being able to listen to the person. I have to really fight the urge and make the effort to listen. I think that is actually an Aspie thing from what I have read. I guess it's rooted in lack of reciprocity.
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"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."
Wreck It Ralph