What am I? To be or not to be aspie

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There's one thing my mom always says that I think might be helpful to keep in mind. She says that most things that are good or soothing for people with autism are good for other people as well, there're just necessary for people with autism. A lot of people have autistic-like traits. Everybody has their certain sounds or textures that they can't stand, or some sort of quirky trait or two.

I think it's a very good thing that you are seeking to understand yourself more. And if studying autism helps with that, then absolutely go ahead and learn all you wish. If you really think about it, a diagnosis of autism/Aspergers is in essence a way to for a person to understand themselves and for others to understand that person. Yes, other things come out of a diagnosis such as getting services in school and beyond, but that is more of a consequence of the diagnosis.

I can't tell you if you have Aspergers or not. But really, don't feel bad or alone because you have traits of both AS and NT. There are a lot of people who are like that. I think something that you might want to ask yourself is does it really matter if you have a label or not? If it does matter, then is searching for a label really going to help you to understand yourself? It is just something to consider. It could be that trying to figure out if you fit into this group or that group, might not be what you want to focus on. It might be more important to just look for things that help you understand yourself or for things that help you in your day to day life, regardless of labels. No one can really tell you where to go next, as hard as it is, only you can really know that.

By the way, Welcome to Wrong Planet!

HalfBreed, I moved out of the family home about a dozen years ago because my rage attacks were making life unbearable for the whole family. For reasons which I don't really understand, my family did not totally cut me loose, and, although I still live alone, we are now all much 'happier' together. Miraculously, I am in a way being given something like a second chance because I now have young grandchildren, and I am relating to them much better than I related to my own young family.

Have you discussed your research results with your wife? Does she read this forum?

When I moved out, I started my research, and eventually I presented the results to my wife. The 'eureka' effect was just as great for her as it had been for me - many many people on these sites refer to the eureka effect of discovering that there is a reason for their problems. For a little while, my wife was the one who was recalling all sorts of incidents and behaviours from our life together which could be explained by either ADHD or Asperger's.

The whole family is now in regular communication, and they make many allowances. My children regularly recall the good times we had as a family, but it sometimes hurts when they bring up the things I did wrong - we are all aware of the ASD label, and they all know that I have accepted responsibility for so many things.