Aspies and Driving

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That's not selfish, your fears are whatever they are. Meh, everyone learning anything makes mistakes and looks like an idiot until they get the hang of whatever they're doing. Don't worry about that. Be cautious, maintain your vehicle, be present and focused and chances are extremely minimal that you'd ever lose control of your vehicle. Speed is relative, once you've driven faster (and you will, even if legal speeds) 40mph seems like you're practically standing still. I tend to drive the speed limit in town and a bit over on highways, but I have driven as fast as 197kmh/122mph & have ridden shotgun at 280kmh/180mph. 40mph is a relatively low speed and very manageable for even a new driver's reaction times. But still, take as much time as you need to practice in parking lots and at low speeds until you're ready to hit the highway. It'll get easier and easier and you'll gain confidence and eventually you'll wonder why you ever worried about driving faster than 40mph.

Even if you don't buy a car, it's always good to have a licence and to know how to drive so that you can drive in case of an emergency or if you're able to borrow a vehicle.

The Squid is 24, and has been driving since age 16. The biggest thing for the Squid was the requirement that he HAD to drive to go to work. The Squid experienced a lot of anxiety to start with. (About 3 years) During this time, it was dreadful thinking about getting into the car, and we would grind our teeth and fidget the entire time we were driving. It has now become second nature, and we cannot imagine our lives without the freedom to get into our submarine and go. We hope you find the time and courage to learn, it's worth it!

Hey there,

I don't drive... I started driving when I was 17. I had 3 different driving instructors in the year and a half I was learning for. I found driving difficult, and I should have started with automatic but wanted to be like everyone else. The 3rd one was an automatic driving instructor. I was keen to start driving as I wanted to be like everyone else, and like you it is not easy to get around if you don't drive as public transport isn't good so I mainly had to rely on my parents. My sister drives now so I sometimes get lifts from her (but feel humiliated and embarrassed because she is 3 yrs younger than me).

I took the test (automatic test), just before I went to university but I failed badly.... In hindsight I took the test too early and should have started with automatic from the very beginning. I definitely found driving easier with automatic.

I'm at university now... I made the decision to stop learning when I went. I do not need to drive when I'm at university as it is easy to get around on public transport etc. It would also work out as more expensive to have a car at uni rather than having a bus pass. It would be useful to drive during university holidays but can make do. I plan to resume driving lessons once I leave university and have a job and it is more necessary to be able to drive.
xx

I was 16 when I took drivers ed and I was a junior in high school. I got my license at 17. But I only drove on the military base where we were living at the time. You had to be 18 to drive off base. I was living in South Korea back then, but I wasn't planning on driving off base anyways. Way too much traffic in South Korea. Much worse than NYC or DC. When I moved back to the US and to Northern Virginia, I had to retake the written test and driving test even though I already know how to drive! That irritated me because the written test is so hard! I failed it once, but then retook it and passed. I passed the driving test right away. I was 18 when I got my permit and drivers license in Virginia. When I first started driving in the USA, I was scared to drive on the highways. After a year or so of driving, I got used to driving on highways. But nearly 20 years later I still refuse to drive around DC, NYC, or Baltimore MD. The huge cities where its tons of traffic just scare me. I don't like to drive around streets that are unfamiliar even though I have a navigation system in my car.

I have the same fears you have - afraid of violating the law or killing someone. Even now, after 23 years of driver experience. I was alienated by cars right from the outset even though my father was a mechanic who shared his knowledges with me. I hate oily work, dirty hands yuck, yuck!! Tactile sensitivities. My family were petrol-heads. I was happy getting around by bike or bus. But my parents insisted that I grow up and "be a man" so I had little alternative. This was before Aspergers hit the DSM. They thought they were doing me a favour (I was only diagnosed last year).

The first driving instructor was horrible - another engine-obsessed revhead like my parents, he wanted me to learn in a V8 machine. I found him intimidating and frightening. I found the training car (like most cars) intimidating and frightening. I intuitively knew I was clumsy and uncoordinated. I was terrified of the responsibility, I was afraid of accidents, insurance obligations etc etc etc.

I failed a test with him and found a nice kind instructor. She taught me in a car with a modest 4 cylinder engine. She was encouraging and sympathetic to my needs. She made me feel safe about what we were doing, asked me to take my time, took me to quiet places. It was good. I failed another test but passed the third one. I did a few transcontinental drives (Australia) in the one car I ever owned, until I found my city (Melbourne, rumoured to have the world's largest suburban sprawl by area). I sold that car and learnt my way around my adopted home on trams, buses, trains and bicycles. But I have borrowed many cars, sometimes for years at a time. I read a few posts about practicing on country roads and backstreets and I endorse that too.

I still hate and fear cars, have a lot of anxiety before every trip (particularly because I don't usually own the cars I drive), but I actually enjoy driving them once I get out there on the road. I feel like I was born to drive. In all my time, I've only had three minor traffic infringements and two minor collisions (cosmetic damage to a car and fence types of idiocy), and the local vehicle registry has issued me with safe driver certification a number of times. I just try and be careful, and always obey the laws, and with experience I have avoided every potentially serious accident that nearly came my way. It surprises me how well I respond to those rare and unpredictable curly moments.

Driving is mainly a routine affair - I'm sure you will do fine, better than the average driver even, because you have a careful and concerned attitude.

I hate driving and driving makes me so stressed. I avoid highways and freeways as much as possible. I would rather go through a gazillion stop signs than drive on the freeway. I get so stressed about everything when I drive and its worse if I have to drive with someone. I feel so responsible for their life and safety. I can't wait for driverless cars. I hate driving THAT much and let my husband drive as much as possible although sometimes he's just plain tired of driving and then begs me to take over.

i'm an awful driver, it took my 5 attempts to pass. I never drive on motorways because I am scared of merging, I can't huge position or distance in mirrors, I clip things like car park pillars, I can't remember directions, I run out of petrol.

Wonder if it is an ASD thing, I've read that people with aspergers are good visual thinkers, yet also read that spacial reasoning is an area of weakness, i'd have though those two things would not go together

I used to drive, but since I had have had other problems, particularly with walking, etc, I have not driven since 2008, and considering I get free travel on all modes of transport throughout London (DLR/tube/London rail network/Overground) and all buses throughout England, I'm not particularly bothered.

Last edited by 12341234 on 28 May 2014, 3:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.

At least I don't live in New York City, or Italy for that matter Being a passenger while my dad drove an RV through some major city streets in Rome was plenty for me!

I wish the US had has good a public transportation system as those is many European countries.

Outside of the large cities, it's pretty awful. Continental Europe is much better than the UK.

Yeah, Miami is public transportation hell. LOL

Must to my surprise, the worst drivers I ever experienced in North America (outside of St. Pierre & Miquelon: they are the kings of aggressive driving) were in Newfoundland (Canada). The people are some of the friendliest on Earth but the drivers are downright AWFUL! It really tested my patience dealing with such aggressive, ignorant and rude drivers and how stop and yield signs are optional even in the city. I've heard Montreal drivers are the worst in North America but I found Newfoundland drivers worse because at least in Montreal they understood the rules. When there is detailed instructions at a drive-thru explaining how a merge works you know you are dealing with bad drivers. Luckily where I live the drivers are pretty good.......... when they aren't texting that is.

I was a nervous wreck the first time I drove on a "real" public road but 6 months later (the minimum time you have to wait to take a road test) I scored a perfect score on the road test and have been incident free my whole driving career. You pretty much have to own a car outside of Montreal and Toronto in Canada unfortunately. I'm actually shocked to find out there are people over 18 that don't have a full license: at the time I was the only one of two in driving school not 16.

I didn't get my license until I was 20. Before then I had absolutely NO desire to get my license. My parents actually were the ones who pushed me into getting my license.

Here in the US I believe Miami drivers are Number 1 in terms of worst drivers. Ironically, Florida has the best roads in the US. That combination makes people careless, crazy, speed demons and sets my anxiety level through the roof!

I love love love LOVE driving! It's one of the only times I get to be completely alone and belt out my awful singing skills to my favourite songs without anyone hearing. I like driving anything, but my favourite are stick shift cars.

I must admit I am accident prone because lack of focus sometimes when I'm overstimulated... so I've been in a few minor accidents. But I like to speed sometimes.

You will do just fine and are completely over-thinking it! Take drivers Ed and listen to everything they say if your nervous, but just enjoy the ride! Driving isn't for everyone, but it's good to know how and have a license when the time comes that you need it.