Super sensitive question about a particular fear that I have

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I'm sorry for your losses, Skibum😞

I get very scared when I feel attached that I will lose the person, or object. I think because it's hard to understand why sometimes people get angry with me, and then sometimes go on to act like I'm not there. Or just start acting like I've disappeared. So then I start to feel like they have disappeared (using as a verb) me. And it seems mysterious and uncontrollable so it is really scary. Anyway, that's kind of what makes me afraid like you're describing. The confusion about why people act like they do seems like an Aspie thing and the fear of being disappeared and people disappearing is because it happens, and it isn't controllable, and that's scary, for me anyway.

It sounds like you have an answer to the why that makes sense. I don't think you're alone, it doesn't sound strange. I think having to think through and analyze human behavior at a conscious level, to survive socially and to have interactions, creates an internal mental dialogue that might seem strange or different to the people who don't need that to get by, and it isn't the norm, but i think if you're an Aspie you have to come to a direction where either you don't care much what others think, or you care very much and put the effort in to be more accepted and acceptable.

But I have tried to contain it internally when I feel something pretty close to what you are describing, and it is incredibly destructive. I hate doing it, and I hate what it does to me to try. So I'm glad you wrote about it and didn't have to contain it internally without at least some company, that's easier, and better. Your words are more raw and gripping than most people's would be and I know when I speak that way it may sound weird, and dramatic, to others. But I think it is that end result of having to think things through rather than just intuitively understanding and knowing that makes the words come out that way, and I think it's a very natural and human response to loss and fear and aloneness we all at times feel and should not have to bear alone.

PPadawan, Woz, Fireyinsiration, and Waterfalls, Thank you so much for your responses. I did not respond to you last night because I fell asleep. I really appreciate you guys so much and you are all really helping me. Thank you. Waterfalls, what you wrote really makes sense to me and I can see that you have similar thoughts and that makes me feel like I am not alone with this. Thank you so much for sharing that. Thank you all again for being here.

Last edited by skibum on 30 May 2014, 8:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Getting metaphysical here, but some say that past, present and future all happen simultaneously. It is only our limited neurology and perspective that limits our true understanding. Meaning that linear timelines mean nothing. Your loved ones are still existing on another plane. We are all dead and living at the same time. Rejoice, because if you can see if from that perspective, it means you never really lose anyone.

http://everythingforever.com/einstein.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eternalism ... hy_of_time)

Thank you, Mikassyna, That is a great way to look at it.

I can understand your fears, skibum. I can recall feeling the same way on several occasions in my life -sometimes even now, as a young adult. I am so sorry for your recent losses. If you want to talk about anything, feel free to send me a PM, okay?

I'm so sorry for your losses. It can be really tough to overcome a loss, especially when you're so close to the person. But, as geeky as this is, the words of Stan Lee ring in my head. "Did they live a good life? Did you enjoy your time with them? Don't focus on how their lives ended, focus on how they lived their life until that point and the happiness they brought everyone. Live life like they would want you to: full of the happiness they brought you".

And I can completely relate to you on this one. Sometimes, I have separation anxiety even if I don't hear from my friends in a while. I just had a conversation with my closest friend about this a while ago and she asked me "what are you most afraid of?" and I told her "losing the people closest to me, either from them getting fed up with my weirdness and leaving or losing them".

Jerry and Coupe, Thank you so much. I took your advice Jerry and it really is helpful. It's wonderful remembering the good times. Coupe, thank you for your offer to talk. I will love to pm you. It is going to be a super busy weekend so I will most likely have time to settle and pm a bit hopefully on Monday. It will be really nice to get to talk to you. I look forward to that. Thank you.

I agree with this^ although from a linear human perspective loss is very real and heartbreaking.