Discipline what works what doesn't

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Hmm...well, that is an eye-opener. I've wondered about so many people liking to be spanked in sexual situations. This makes perfect sense.

There are other things parents do that are also "sexual." Diaper changes, telling someone what to do, having no control, bottles, pacifiers, breast feeding, cribs, public diaper changes and so on and some adults do these things too and it's so sexual.

... The double came first.

JUNE FOOLS DAY

Last edited by BeggingTurtle on 02 Jun 2014, 8:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I've been hit because I was ticcing. I was rolling my eyes and my dad hit and swore at me for a few seconds and commanded me to stop. With stimming, well, my mum + special ed teachers tried to hold my hands down and that never ends well. It doesn't happen anymore thankfully.

Research studies have found that harsh punishment (physical or verbal) results in a higher risk of externalizing behavior. Kids tend to imitate their parents' discipline style when resolving conflicts, and are less likely to internalize rules if parents are too harsh. It can also damage the parent-child relationship, with children having less trust in their parents and less interest in pleasing them.

The most effective form of discipline is gentle but consistent. In toddlers, mostly just say no & redirect them to an appropriate activity, or if they're very persistent give them a brief time-out. In older children, start verbally explaining why their actions are wrong (inductive discipline) so they know that rules aren't just arbitrary or something to do to please parents, but actually exist because they make things nicer for everyone.

A few references:

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1468033/
http://www.unc.edu/~djjones/Documents/Forehand.McKee.pdf
http://scholar.harvard.edu/jweisz/files/1994c.pdf
http://www.researchgate.net/publication/12211824_Temperament_as_a_moderator_of_pathways_to_conscience_in_children_the_contribution_of_electrodermal_activity/file/3deec520fc53baee1f.pdf
http://www.researchgate.net/publication/6598592_Children's_fearfulness_as_a_moderator_of_parenting_in_early_socialization_Two_longitudinal_studies/file/72e7e523201feddf93.pdf
http://200.16.86.38/uca/common/grupo18/files/krevansgibbspb.pdf
http://www.researchgate.net/publication/216812884_Parental_disciplinary_history_current_levels_of_empathy_and_moral_reasoning_in_young_adults/file/490f0dfc53215057ed92120be1b2f789.pdf

In my case, when told I had to do something, my first response was always 'why>' If they gave me a logical answer, I'd obey willingly. If they said 'because I said so' or 'just do it', or gave a reason that made no sense to me, I would be incredibly stubborn and defiant. My school only saw the defiant side, because they almost never had good reasons for their rules. My parents barely recognized the 'defiant troublemaker' my teachers said I was, because I was nice and obedient at home.

Agreed.

A toddler cannot be expected to understand most rules, or have the self-control necessary to follow them, no matter what discipline style you use. But they are also very distractable, and you can easily stop most misbehavior by just redirecting their attention to an appropriate target. Spanking doesn't help because a toddler generally has no clue why they're being spanked, and it's a very overloading and frightening experience. It's easier for them to understand a parent saying 'no', because it's not overloading and therefore they can use the full extent of their minimal verbal skills to process it.

By the age of 3 or 4, most children can understand simple explanations like 'hitting hurts people' or 'it's very delicate and you might break it'. Spanking is unnecessary because if you've formed a good bond with the child, the child will want to please you and will only need mild incentives to do so.

Some kids may have cognitive or language delays, in which case you'll need to keep using the 'toddler method' until the kid has progressed to a 3 or 4 year old level. However, I usually explain rules as well, just in case the kid has better receptive language than people realize.

Also, never try to discipline a child for behavior they can't control. It's a guessing game, and it's understandable if you get it wrong, but try to figure it out, and if a behavior isn't responding to positive discipline, consider other explanations besides 'willful misbehavior'. (Incidentally, stress-related behavior will generally worsen if you use harsh discipline techniques to try to stop it.)

If you're gonna use harsh discipline on your child. make sure that that the rules you set are clear and that you the parent live by those rules and standards as well and don't set bad examples. For example, don't smoke cigarettes around your kids and then discipline them for trying it themselves. Harsh discipline is not a bad thing as long as you have the integrity to back it, but if you don't have it, you will defiantly cause great harm.

One of the biggest problem with why we are having to abandon harsh discipline is because parents abuse it and have no integrity at all to setting good examples for proper behavior. Parents these day just don't seem interested in raising there kids and want to pay some one else (e.c a daycare center.) to do the work for them. Today, both parents are working full time jobs and never have time for their kids.

I dunno if this is a joke or not but this is from a "religious" POV


4. They act ?Autistic.?

Liberals seek to ignore the real problems concerning their children ? horrible parenting, lack of discipline, drug use, rejecting of God?s love ? and instead label their child as ?developmentally disabled.? The only thing wrong with the child?s development is the development of his relationship with God. ?Autism? does not exist.

?Autism? is a fancy word that Liberal scientists and doctors have created to circumvent their own shortcomings and flaws in parenting. If your child is ?autistic? chances are they?re just misbehaved and not properly disciplined. Spanking, swift, hard and firm should be applied at once and several times over the course of a few months. This will help curb them of their ?autism? disease and your family can live happily again.


http://christwire.org/2012/09/spare-the ... -children/

That has to be a joke. A link on the front page reads, "Irrefutable Fact Obama is a Brony." lol

I think the most important thing when disciplining children is to make sure they know what they're being punished for. Children need rules and punishments to be consistent (especially children on the spectrum). Also, talk to your children about their behaviour, and discuss rules and punishments.