Aspie Parents and their children

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I was also going to say something along those lines. You must really hate people who wear diapers.

CR, I do not think you are as careless as a lot of young parents are. Most of them don't dispose of Pampers responsibly, they just leave them anywhere and full of sh!t. I have seen Pampers left on food trays. Meanwhile, what a horrible waste, don't parents care about the environment? I guess not, or they would not have kids in the 1st place.

Not all young parents are careless and don't care about the environment

But ConfusedAlot, if they DID care about the environment, they would not have kids in the first place and add to 7 billion people which are too many. Having a child increases one's carbon score by a factor of 6!. That's right, I could be the most wasteful, SUV racing, steak grilling every day, beer drinking, NASCAR racing, leave the lights on all the time, Jet set fly everywhere playboy and still not have the carbon score of a father. I don't do those things so I am being environmentallyr responsible, then Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar have another kid and undo it all. That is not fair.

I think being self-aware is pretty much essential for any parent. I don't see a big difference for AS versus NT parents here.

If you've had a bad experience in childhood, poor self-awareness tends to result in either treating your kids exactly how your parents treated you, or else projecting your own childhood experiences on your children even though their situation is different. (One of my Mom's former friends, her daughter was bullying me in school. When my Mom told this other mom about it, she insisted it was impossible because 'I was always really shy in school'. It didn't seem to occur to her that just because she was shy didn't mean her daughter was.)

I think AS parents with NT kids, and NT parents with AS kids, face additional challenges that same-neurology dyads don't face, but they can be overcome if you make a deliberate effort to try to figure out what's going on inside your child's mind and how they differ from you.

Deafness is a good analogy here. Deaf parents with deaf kids do just as well as hearing parents with hearing children, but mixed-hearing dyads (hearing parent/deaf child or deaf parent/hearing child) face additional struggles. Hearing parents often don't know how to get a deaf child's attention very well, as well as needing to learn sign language. Meanwhile, since deaf people are very sensitive to peripheral vision, deaf parents tend to use visual methods of catching their child's attention, which are less effective with a hearing child. Research has found that in both kinds of mixed-hearing dyads, parental sensitivity to their child is especially crucial.

This argument is complete rubbish.

You might as well set a goal not to contribute to entropy and call that "pro-environment"

The thing is, if you were to set some ridiculous goal of that kind, you would be arguing for the non-existence of the universe, or the annihilation of all lifeforms with digestive tracts.

What is good about an environment in which nothing interesting, or nothing at all, ever happens?

Maybe a slightly more nuanced view of environmentalism is in order?
Maybe we could try minimizing contribution to the greenhouse effect while preserving a basic sense of the value of human and animal life?
Maybe an argument that identifies children as intrinsically bad is in itself evil.

Regardless of the ethics of your anti-human pro-exticntion stance, the argument is rubbish.

Ever heard of a biological imperative? Having children is a basic drive, like the drive to have sex. (The two are actually separate drives, incidentally, as shown by birth control and fertility treatments.)

And if you raise your children to be environmentally responsible, your environmentally responsible code of ethics gets passed on to the next generation. Natural selection acts on non-genetic, cultural traits, too. That's why we no longer have any of that one Jewish sect that said producing children was sinful.

Your own influence on the world is minuscule. But if you influence others to be environmentally responsible, then your impact is extended further. And the most powerful form of influence is the influence a parent has on a child. Not only that, but children usually outlive their parents, so your influence extends past your own lifespan.

People differ in their sex drive, but that is what condoms and pills and operations are for. Jim Bob Duggar is sex mad but if he was "snipped" it wouldn't matter to the environment what him and Michelle do. But it does matter because they have 19 kids and are so child greedy they want 20. Can you imagine the garbage they make? Just the poopy Pampers they create is an environmental disaster!



That's why I tell people to think twice before having a lot of kids. Do you really think it is a good idea for one on the spectrum to have them? Besides, why not the child free choice?

Asperger's and possibly High functioning Autism is not proven by Science to be genetic. As there are no medical tests, brain scans and no specific gene detected to prove one has ASD or not, it's hard to correctly diagnose someone. I know a guy who had it caused by trauma by his mother, his parents would fight everyday and he eventually met the critea for Asperger's. As soon as he moved out, a year later he could pass for neurotypical

Maybe his genes changed as to diffearent lifestyle? Look up "how to change your genes" on youtube.. shows if you eat bad and get no exercise, you could trigger a gene that is obesity, and then vice versa , healthy lifestyle could cause healthy genes. He also mentions psychological trauma can trigger a mental disorder. And once a gene changes, it becomes genetic...

Anyway, if both parents indeed have aspergers, the child could well have aspergers in a 100% chance. It would depend if he gets his neurology from the X or Y chromostone.

Future genealogist.

I feel that people should feel free to start a family whether they're aspies or not. It's up to the individual, not someone who doesn't respect life. I respect life and I hope that more babies of all animal species, including humans are born into this world. I respect life and I hope there is life on Earth for as long as the Earth's ecosystem will allow it. s**t happens. Deal with it.

Well we were having a constructive conversation on this thread until diverted by the childlessness sideshow posting..

I was not referring to sex drive. The drive to reproduce is separate from sex drive.

And my parents used reusable cloth diapers. Not every parent uses Pampers.

Some people can, some can't. Some autistic people are actually really good parents. And... well, the noise, the expense, the smelly diapers--those are solvable problems. For example, with diapers: One can dispose of the diapers immediately into an outdoor trash can; or one could use cloth diapers and wash them daily. Noise can be solved with earplugs. Expense is a problem, but not every Aspie is too poor to support a child. Parenting can even be a benefit: If you are the type of Aspie who is most comfortable with people much younger than you, well--it's a child. A child's simpler outlook may be much less confusing than the adults you deal with daily.

Disability doesn't stop a person from being a good parent, and autistic people are no exception. The only thing you really need, to be a good parent, is to be committed to raising the child, and able to find help when you need it. Once you can do those two things, you can solve any child-related problem that you might encounter.

An autistic parent who has shutdowns or burnout episodes would need to make sure the child is cared for during those times, much like any parent with a chronic illness would need to be sure their child is cared for when they have a flare-up. Once again, it is a solvable problem.

Full disclosure: I am not a parent, but I am a pet owner, and on a small scale, taking care of pets is a little bit like providing for a child. It means I have to deal with scooping a litter box, finding vet care, entertaining and training the cats, and making sure they are happy and healthy. If nurturing were a video game, pets would be the Easy setting--but it's the same game. If you can take care of a pet, you already know a little about what's involved, and while nobody's ever really ready for children, you can probably make a good guess about whether you would be responsible enough to make sure that your child was safe, happy, and well cared for.

My husband loves our child this I know with all my heart. She's an NT, and so am I

It is extremely hard for him. They do not have the same interests.  She's an extroverted girly girl.

It takes him triple the amount of energy to do "what is expected". Showing up for school functions, socializing with the other parents, and feigning interest in kid stuff. All parents have to *suck it up and deal* when it comes to kid care. It isn't natural for NTs either, but I think for Aspies, it will drain you much faster.

I get a little down, when I always have to handle official school meetings. I have sent my husband, but he shuts down during them. My husband has trouble with fast paced, multi subject conversations. Most school meetings are like that.

Aspies can be good parents, but at least with my husband, it takes triple the effort.

Someone who studies genes is a geneticist. A genealogist compiles family trees.

Great to see someone showing an interest in learning about genetics rather than just assuming things though, congrats!

Autism (usually) seems to have a genetic component. We just don't know what the gene is (or, more likely, what the genes are - the inheritance of autism isn't simple). We can tell this by looking at twins. Identical twins, who have the same genes, are more likely to share autism than fraternal twins, who have similar genes and a very similar environment. This shows that there is definitely a genetic component. However, identical twins do not always share autism, so it is likely that other factors play a role too. Also, we know that autism is sometimes caused solely by environmental factors e.g. pregnant mothers with rubella.

You don't "change" your genes as such, but how they are expressed can change. For the most part, this is called epigenetics. This video probably gives a better explanation than YouTube: http://learn.genetics.utah.edu/content/ ... ics/intro/

It's also great to see you learning about sex linkage, but it isn't relevant here and you haven't got it right. This page provides a good introduction: http://www.cod.edu/people/faculty/fancher/GenProb3.htm but remember that most genes are not sex linked. Something as broad as neurology isn't caused by one gene.

I'd rather that there be poopy pampers than a childless world. Pampers are on the market for a reason, as are adult incontinence products. It's because people need them and they're made with biodegradable materials these days. That means that disposable diapers can now decompose, so they won't be in landfills forever like they might have 30 years ago. If a toddler, an elderly person or an incontinent person wants to wear such garments, they should be able to wear them. They should not be told in a forceful way that they shouldn't be wearing them. Incontinent people should not have to feel threatened by certain people.