Lack of respect
I've seen your picture--you're attractive. I can see men being attracted to you; I can see women being attracted to you. It's what you feel, really. You've had crushes on women before; if you happen to like women that way, that's okay. It's so much different now than when I was a kid. Then, you couldn't even utter the word "homosexual" in mixed company. Nowadays, you could actually get married to your partner if he/she is of the same sex as you. It's amazing, really.
I've always known I was straight; this notion was confirmed when I was molested by a couple of guys when I was 17 and 18 years old. I was a semi-willing partner to it. Just the notion of being intimate with a man disgusted me, and still disgusts me. Now...to be in the arms of a Lady---to be in her Embrace--Man, how I crave that!
You seem like a nice, sincere person. I hope for you to become independent, for you are capable of doing so. I think, at one time, you were really into the Icelandic language. Are you into linguistics in general?
My feelings can be very annoying. Especially when my OCD messes with me. It often skews my perception of things and makes me worry about things that aren't true. I often get false attractions to guys and that can make me feel very confused.
Especially if they're good looking. I know they're false because I got an opportunity to kiss and date a guy I was getting falsely attracted to. When I actually got a chance to kiss him I just couldn't. When I kissed my ex-boyfriend I remember feeling repulsed and bored.
Whenever I tell straight girls about this they think it's very weird. I also notice that they seem to like boys that I don't think are remote attractive.
I was interested in Icandic for a bit. I knew that interest wouldn't last too long because it's not a useful language for me and there's no Icelandic courses available where I live. I am interested in linguistics, but my main interest is music.
That is how I got interested in Icelandic. I listened to a lot of Icelandic music and I was curious about what the lyrics meant. I spent a lot of my time interpreting lyrics. I really got happy when I could understand stuff I couldn't understand before. At one point I could watch simple kid's shows without subtitles.
When I was learning Icelandic I often listened to Finnish accordion music when I was taking a break. I listened to that because it was either in Finnish or instrumental. I thought this would just stay a distraction, but I was so wrong. When my Icelandic obsession faded away I got more into the Finnish stuff and I eventually started to play accordion. Unlike with Icelandic, it was easy to find a teacher. I think this interest will last longer, but I'm not sure.
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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 82 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 124 of 200
You are very likely neurotypical
Do you play an instrument, or compose music?
What I'm seeing is that you might like the aesthetics of a good-looking guy, but you're not actually sexually attracted to him. You feel an identical disgust to my disgust at being intimate with a guy. That's understandable to me. I have the feeling you like women. How do you feel when you kiss a woman?
Finnish is quite an interesting and complex language. I believe the pronunciation of Icelandic is more complex--yet the overall grammar of it is less complex. Finnish pronunciation, I believe, is less complex--but the overall grammar is more complex. There are, for example, 16 inflections in Finnish; English, I believe, has about 8.
We've got the right to be treated with respect--even if we look very autistic, or choose not to hide our autism.
When people do not treat you with respect because you look autistic, that means that they are failing in their duty to you as a fellow person.
You do not have a duty to hide your autism in order to get respect. You should be respected whether or not you do so.
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CockneyRebel
Veteran
Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 121,594
Location: In my own little country
I think that once you get older and start to mature, you will start accepting your AS more and as a result, you will respect yourself more as well. That's when people will start to respect you, because they won't feel that you're trying to hide something. Once you start respecting yourself, people will start to respect you.
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The Family Schlager
I used to be like everyone else here. I was proud of being labelled autistic. Did I become less mature or did I just face reality? When I was a kid I wasn't trying to hide a thing about me, but I was constantly being patronized. When I started hiding and doing all the "wrong" stuff people started to treat me normally. AS pride never actually worked for me.
_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 82 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 124 of 200
You are very likely neurotypical
