Don't feel like the other AS people I met.

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frodz
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27 Jul 2014, 5:52 pm

12341234 wrote:
These are my frank & un-pc observations:

they tend to have the more 'obvious' cases - particularly where it's X Autistic Society/Trust, whereas those that tend to be X Advocacy tend to have the more 'with-it' ones since those aren't revolving around sitting in a circle, a bit like Alcoholics Anonymous (perhaps such groups could be named Aspergers Anonymous!!) and those advocacy ones tend to have more that wish to do something to help the/ir cause.

Autistic Trusts/Societies also have more 'obvious' cases as they started out assisting 'classic' autistic folk, whereas the advocacy ones are *not* aimed at bus pass-round-the-neck-on-a-lanyard types.

I am quite renowned for doing the rounds of these groups in my area and I have noted in one of the counties, the nicer the area, the more-able they are, which is not surprising given the socio-economics of it all, but in nicer areas where they have received less of a leg-up in life, they've *had* to cope with it. I suppose i fit in best with the Tonbridge & Canterbury groups I attend; the further north of the county you get, well, the more care in the community they become.

The people that runs these groups see me as entertaining, if only to break up the monotony of people rattling off bus numbers by rote...


Interesting, sounds like you aren't far away! How useful do you find the groups? I would be interested in meeting people in a similar situation, but I do worry that I wouldn't fit in with those who are more severely affected, my problems are more subtle.



MathGirl
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27 Jul 2014, 7:53 pm

SteelMaiden wrote:
Socialising with anyone, even my dad, makes me want to scream unless there is a function to it, such as learning how to take professional photos or solving a physics problem. I never understood socialising for the sake of socialising.
This makes complete sense to me and I'm surprised others here can't relate. I talk to people often, but it's usually because I need help with something, they need help with something, or I'm trying to see if something in my life is a typical experience or not so that I can detect a potential problem before it even occurs. Sometimes, just sharing things that are bothering me is helpful so that perhaps someone can give either direct advice or tell me about their experience with a similar issue and how they coped with it. That's something I found helpful about these support groups.

I also like collaboratively working on problems or debating because I get to learn something new and useful that way.


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rapidroy
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28 Jul 2014, 11:58 pm

I have had some experience with neurodiverce groups when I was young and have had some chances to be around small groups of AS/autism and other similar dx people. I have had no luck just hanging around them and talking to them, it feels really awkward and like talking to a brick wall to be honest(I have had people describe socializing with me to be much the same) however if we have similar interests and common goals we are actively trying to achieve then it works great, partly because in theory no one is being looked down on. Simply sticking a bunch of socially awkward people in a room together does not equal instant social success.



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29 Jul 2014, 2:29 am

To be perfectly honest, I don't really get on well with most of the AS individuals I know in real life either. My dad is sort of an exception, but we've had major ups and downs, and at the moment I don't particularly care for him. My paternal grandmother is an exception too, though I don't really know if she has AS or if I'm just over-analyzing her. She's a really nice person anyhow, and I suspect she has a few traits, but probably not full-blown AS.

I often find I have a hard time getting along with other people who are similar to me personality wise, AS or not. My mother's fiancee isn't AS afaik, but him and I are shockingly similar in a lot of ways, and if we're left in the same room for too long, we end up fighting like cats and dogs.



SteelMaiden
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29 Jul 2014, 2:59 am

I prefer being alone at home (I live alone thankfully) with my textbooks, or in the commons where nobody else is, taking photos with my digital SLR.

I see no personal point in socialising beyond just asking for help or helping others.

My mum keeps trying to meet me up purely to "catch up" and "have a chat", it is so pointless that it's painful taking to her.


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EzraS
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29 Jul 2014, 3:19 am

I don't think I would do well at all if tossed into some kind of social group. I have been going to a day camp for asd kids, but that was something we discovered. I think if my dad had just dropped me off there and pushed me into it I would have ended up in a corner curled in a ball having a major meltdown.



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29 Jul 2014, 3:43 am

School played a large part in me developing various mental illnesses. It was a mainly social situation at the beginning (classes were p*** easy for the first three years) and I remember having so many meltdowns that I was suspended twice and threatened with expulsion (this was pre-diagnosis of ASD).

Uni is just as bad socially and I need a full-time support worker just to have basic communication abilities, and even then it's made me have meltdowns.


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MathGirl
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29 Jul 2014, 10:02 pm

SteelMaiden wrote:
My mum keeps trying to meet me up purely to "catch up" and "have a chat", it is so pointless that it's painful taking to her.
Yeah, I can definitely relate to this. Whenever people start trying to talk about pointless things, I just say I don't see any purpose in talking about this and therefore don't feel comfortable and then either switch the topic or, if possible, end the conversation.

I find it helps to come up with some questions you want to ask people about or some discussion points ahead of time so that you can actually have a productive, intellectual conversation.


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SteelMaiden
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30 Jul 2014, 12:58 am

^ Thanks for advice.


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