People dislike me

Post Reply New Topic

Hi I am an NT with some Aspie traits and I am trying to learn more about what people are going through. Here is my opinion. I once had a coworker who was an Aspie. I didn't like him because of the same reasons. I would try to chit chat with him and ask how was your weekend. He would say good. He would also say all the negative stuff he thought about my work at meetings. I would say that the way to be more approachable is to stay positive. If you don't understand nonverbal cues and are on a date say so. Just say I struggle with reading people. I wouldn't announce to a stranger that you,re an Aspie unless you really close with them. By the way most nt,s don't even know what an Aspie is or what autism is. I didn't until my son was dx,d and then it became clear that my coworker was an Aspie.
The bottom line is don't give up. Telling people that you struggle reading them can come off as being friendly and genuine. Yet you are not showing your full deck of cards. There is a fine line between saying you are struggling with something as opposed to here is my full medical history and take advantage of me as much as you want.

sorry - just a brief off-topic response

I find this to be a very interesting concept. An annoying person who is genuinely unaware that they are annoying.I suppose such a person lacks the ability or self-awareness (a term I've learned from my counselor) to think to themselves "I am bothering this person by doing X" or "I am being unbearably creepy" or "maybe I should stop doing X since it is a disturbing thing to do." I guess the only hope is to inform the person that they are annoying and let them choose to alter their behavior. I think most people assume that someone is obnoxious just doesn't care.

Life would be so much easier if everyone told everyone they are annoying them. I always think I am annoying someone.

I have a neighbor who when he first moved in would play his guitar so loudly. I'd leave my apartment and walk down the street, I could still hear his playing. What would compel a human to do such a thing? I find a hard time believing an adult human wouldn't realize blasting loud music is inconsiderate. One day I overheard someone knock on the neighbors' door. Apparently it was the tenant who lived below him. The guy asked the neighbor if he could lower the volume because he wanted to be able to hear the TV in his place. The neighbor retorted that it was the apartment walls and not his fault He continued to play loudly for a while, but eventually lowered the volume so that only I and the person below had to suffer--not the whole block.
Now this is an example of an annoying Motherf***er who just doesn't care about respecting others. He is annoying and basically thinks "so what are you gonna do about it?" He was told in a nice way that he is annoying those around him. Now I've cussed this guy out good and thoroughly. I don't want to have to be like that but the guy is a real creep and some people just need to be put in their place.
I will keep in mind that some people, such as the OP and others on this thread, are accidentally being annoying. That of course doesn't mean someone can't still dislike you. It just means they won't hate your guts.

ResilientBrilliance provides a solid example of annoying human behavior.

To say autistics are annoying in general is certainly not fair or at all true.

I like how people on WP have often described this problem as an autistic propensity for "making others feel uncomfortable" It's also called being socially awkward on a planet with very strict rules for what's socially acceptable.

At least they are no longer burning us at the stake for our difference - at least not literally.

Third-world people don't think like that...at all.

This is getting way off topic very quickly...

I guess as I got older I started to gradually acquire better social skills and I guess I have made myself less annoying. I sometimes try a little bit of a self-deprecating sense of humor to let people know that I realize that I can come off as a bit odd and I am comfortable with that. I am comfortable with other people thinking that and I have a sense of humor about it.