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Please describe the scenario when you are trying to fit in.

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darkotics
Hummingbird
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Joined: 29 Jun 2014
Age: 34
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10 Aug 2014, 11:12 am

Raleigh wrote:
When I'm invited somewhere I'm encouraged to go because it will be "good for me".
I dispute this.
I don't see how the elevated levels of anxiety and stress can possibly be "good for me".
I usually don't say much, feel awkward because I don't know how to stand or sit so I feel relaxed and I can't follow the conversation. I also don't know when it's polite to leave so I end up staying until the end.
When I get home I'm exhausted. I feel like I've been through a harrowing ordeal.
Next day everyone's saying what a "fun evening" it was.
NT's have NO IDEA what we go through.
I liken the evening to an interrogation or sitting an important test where you can't figure out the answers. Now that's FUN!! !! Not.
And that's why I avoid social occasions.
If I'm to be a reject, I would rather be a self-appointed one.


I agree with this. Especially the exhaustion part, and people saying that they had fun while I'm just glad it's over.



AmethystRose
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10 Aug 2014, 11:57 am

darkotics wrote:
If you are a teen or adult please describe what things occur when you get invited somewhere with "cool" NT people and by this, I mainly mean how do people respond to you?

Is there a recurring theme? Do you have depression because you always screw up and cannot understand why you keep getting rejected?


Before I understood that it's OK to be unsocial and observe from the corner or just stay home, I used sarcasm as a cover. People knew I was a sarcastic person, so when I said something weird or that I just shouldn't have said, I could spin it into a joke or let them assume I was joking.

I regret doing that, now, though, because I understand that I was alienating good people and just came off as a jerk a lot of the time an like a dummy a lot of the rest of the time. In my adulthood -- I know this sounds crazy, but: In my adulthood, I would rather have people assume I'm a mental health patient than think I'm a cool, dumb jerk.
:geek: