Do Aspies obsess about being normal?

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Thanks for the replies and experiences so far. I guess I originally posted this question, and still obsess over being like others, because I have always felt very inferior to other people. Everyone tells me that I shouldn't, because I have accomplished so much, but I still do. I guess I feel that if I was like others, then I would be as good as them and feel as good as them, and not feel inferior.

Do you only feel inferior to the NT population?

I feel inferior to the NT population because of their social skills and ability to form relationships, and the Aspie population because of their intelligence. So much so that I sulk for days about it all.

I wouldn't say that I obsess about it though. I just kick something in the end and feel better.

I never used to give a hoot about being accepted or fitting in. I was who I was and I accepted myself happily. I knew I was different but I also thought I just another variant of normal so I thought "well, I'm not like that. so just let me do things my way". I never saw anyone I wanted to be like, and I didn't mimic anyone.
Realizing there was actually something something wrong with me (as opposed to being different) was a shock and now I am very preoccupied with what is normal. I don't accept the same things about myself anymore. I'm not obsessed with being normal (not from an aspie POV anyway) but it is something that is on my mind quite a bit. It bothers me to not be normal.

I was only diagnoses with Asperger's in April and know only one other person with Aspergers personally, although I have been on this site off and on since June or so. My point is, I don't know enough Aspies to know how I feel compared to them. People tell me I am intelligent, I did get a Ph.D and work as a professor. I feel inferior to NTs at least because I wasn't good at sports growing up (I did run 2 marathons as an adult, though), wasn't popular in school, didn't do very good in the romance department, never heard of anyone having a crush on me in school, things like that. It still bothers me that I don't have a great dating history like many other adults do, even though I am now married and have been for 14 years. I can't look back and feel like I had a normal high school and college experience.

I think it comes from "A treatise on man and the development of his faculties" . I don't know which link to post, so I just mention the title.
Normality comes, I believe, from "the average man", a concept introduced by Adolphe Quételet. It's not at all about what's better, it's about what's easier. That, and imitating others. SO there's self-renforcing trends that just appear and disappear. What's normal now may be pathological in the future, just like what is now pathological was normal then (wrt psychology).

Certainly as a young kid I was horrified by the thought that I was "weird" and "not normal" - partly because people kept reminding me that that I was "weird" and "not normal." But, at some point I came to accept that I was different. Learning that I have Asperger's is a major breakthrough in giving me a clearer picture why I can't be just like everyone else.

For most of my life I always saw most others as kind of stupid, not out of lack of intelligence but because they didn't seem to think. They would accept everything they heard and were highly illogical. They would call me stupid, then turn around and do something totally idiotic and get away with it. For a long time I had little desire to be social or fit in, as I didn't want to be considered one of them. My only friends were other loners that thought similarly to the way I did and had similar interests. Other than that I was pretty much fine having no friends, other than the fact that I wanted someone I could have a conversation with and play games and such.

My junior year is when I really started trying to be normal. That was when I started having a desire to be liked by others, but everyone I tried to be friends with ended up avoiding me for some reason. I kept trying for a while, but when I got to college, I couldn't handle everything that was happening and I just shut down. Then is when I realized I must be more than just different, and I started trying to figure it out. Took me about 10 months, but I finally ended up here.

Nah. More occasionally bummed out about being so different, but then I move on from it.

No. I'd rather just get on with my life than obsess about being "normal". In my opinion, there's no point crying about it. You just have to learn how to cope and deal with the way you are and Asperger's. My brain is wired differently but I can't connect it to the way a "normal" person's brain is.

I thinks it's probably best that you focus on the here and now, rather that what has gone. A lot of people have a sh***y time of it at school for one reason or another, whether they are Aspie or NT.

I've never been married, not even close and I can't ever see it happening. My track record where relationships are concerned are nothing to be envious of, but there's not much I can do about that.

Sometimes I wish I was NT, but I don't obsess about trying to imitate NT's because that would probably land me in more trouble than my little mind could handle.

I'm 41 now and going on about 18 or 19 (very young for my age) and I have a 22 year old daughter with AS who I have to look after.

Life is not (and never will be) straight forward for any of us. But we are who we are and we all have to make the best of that.

All the best, BB.

I was very obsessed about being normal when I was 10-12. I used to read lot of books on social skills that were made for small children. It was mostly etiquette books like 'Let's taking about being a bad sport" "Let's talk about showing off." I would read this stuff so I would know how not to act and what not to do so I won't come off wrong. I was accused of showing off so I was reading that book to understand it more. I say me caring what others thought of me and caring about being misjudged and wanting respect and wanting to have friends is what made me change.

I'm obsessed with being "normal," to an extent, but I have no motivation to actually follow through on becoming normal....I still stim and have special interests unusual for my age group, and love stuffed animals. So, it's like I sort of DON'T want to be normal, and can see myself being absolutely miserable and repressed if I were to magically become normal, but I still want it anyway, if that makes any sense. I'm a mess.

When I was younger I thought there was such a thing as normal. Now I know that there is no such thing as normal. Everyone has something about them that others would not consider normal. As far as fitting in. I always knew that was not possible. I was satisfied just to sit in the dug out while the others played the game.

No, because I'm too busy obsessing over other things, LOL.

I, my self have no desire to want to be NT but I feel that I have to be NT in order to survive. Because of my aspergers. I can't get a job, I have few (if any) friends and I am not married. Living your whole life like and alien who crashed landed and got marooned on earth and trying to adapt to the lifestyles of the indigenous species starts to take it toll on you as a person. Especially when you are meant with one failure after another.

I have never felt normal, but it never bothered me. I never tried to be like anyone else as a child. If anyone tried to make fun of me in school, I simply looked at them and thought they were stupid for finding such childish things funny (even though they and I were children, I saw "childish" as "stupid"). I don't recall a time when I ever took verbal bullying to heart.

As an adult though I did try my best to be "normal" because I realised that it was the only way to get anything in life and to fit in. It wasn't due to an inferiority complex or because I wanted to be that way - I just felt that it was the most practical way to move forward in life. I think I'm good at coming off as normal at first, but as time goes by people have the sense that there is something "wrong" with me and relationships fizzle fast after they started. However, the level of "normal" that I achieved is about enough to get me through job interviews and such. I am in no way interested in forming friendships with people who aren't interested in me as I am.