Our Autistic Aura and Respect?

Post Reply New Topic

Great thread Glider18

Exactly. All of this is true for me anyway. I think this is why I seem to just have a natural talent for making people angry. They expect deference. I think some people actually want others to fear them, not just defer to them.

I don't believe I should have to show respect for anyone just based on their social position or job position or rank. I have a basic sense of respect for anyone just because they are human but beyond that they have to earn it.

I felt like Student E at the coffee shop where I used to work.

I would constantly get in trouble for things that others in there would get away with.

We weren't supposed to have drinks (like a cup of water, not necessarily a can of pop, etc.) out front and I'd nearly always catch heck for having a cup of water at my work station (I have POTS and you have to stay plenty hydrated or your BP plummets) and yet a handful of the day-shifters when I came in all had conspicuous cups of water and even large, handled travel mugs with juice sitting right there at the drive-thru area Ummmm no - if a rule applies, it should apply to everyone, no playing favourites, the same action should result in the same consequences

G*d people in there would tick me off.

Agreed

I still have several storage facilities worth of baggage about this. I was always punished harsher and allowed to get away with less than others, oh, but don't think anyone ever got in trouble for how they treated me!

100% correct.

Exactly. When I state all possibilities instead of just the expected one, it is seen as negative attitude and lacking confidence.

It offends certain people when I ask them certain questions. It's as if I should automatically know that they think themselves above answering such questions.

When I give some people an honest answer of "no", they react like their whole reality just collapsed on them, and I must be some kind of insane alien.

That happened to me so many times!! ! And even situations almost exactly as the one you described!
Just last week i was in the middle of a lesson about soil mechanics and apparently the teacher warned us that we should print the exercise and take it to do it in the classroom. Well, i didn't heard she saying this and four others students also haven't. One by one they've gone at her and asked for a copy and she opened a folder and gave them one. When i noticed that, i got up, went to her desk and asked for a copy too but she answered: I'm not giving copies anymore because i warned you all during last class that you should bring it printed. If you want it you can go to the PC rooms and print it yourself.
I was so embarrassed that for a few seconds i wanted to hit my head on the wall.
And i was really bothered by that situation trying to understand if by any reason i was rude or something like that when asking her but i don't think so.

Last week I had a fascinating discussion with a neurotypical colleague and friend. He confirmed that also from his perspective psychopaths play a significant role in shaping society and culture. We then discussed the suspected link between the autistic spectrum and a sense of fairness that is compatible with the philosophy of anarchism. My friend could follow my line of reasoning, and suggested that the world needs more autistic anarchists. I did not expect this level of support for my point of view, and the conversation has got me thinking about a possible avenue for improving the interface between autistics and the neurotypical world.

Anarchism covers a broad range of philosophies. The commonalities across the board boil down to non-hierarchical forms of organisation. I am not sure what percentage of anarchists are on the autistic spectrum, but the set of all those drawn to some form of anarchism is bound to include a significant number of people without strong autistic traits but with a strong sense of fairness.

Perhaps the non-autistic part of the Venn diagram of people on the autistic spectrum and people drawn to anarchism represents the ideal interface between the autistic and the non-autistic world.

We need people who can relate to our intrinsic motivation and our passion for specific special interests, who at the same time are capable of native, non-mimicked, neurotypical style of communication and interaction. Such people clearly see the benefits of non-hierarchical organisation, yet they may be much more pragmatic and capable of operating in a hierarchical social environment than autistics.

In the short term, over a few days, I am quite good at mimicking the neurotypical style of communication and interaction, but it feels like a mental Ironman triathlon. Afterwards I am so drained that I need several days alone, where all social interaction is limited to my immediate family members who are also ASD or BAP.

Whilst I "max out" at 4 out of 14 days of operating in a hierarchical social environment, my neurotypical friend swims in it 14 out of 14 days without burnout, and he does not make any of the "fatal" mistakes that autistics tend to make every now and then when emulating the neurotypical style in a social setting.

Even if the set of non-autistic-friends-of-anarchism is no larger than the set of people on the autistic spectrum, it may provide us with a concrete recipe for constructing autism-friendly organisations that are capable of interacting with the wider neurotypical world in the best possible way.

I sincerely believe autistics can be great collaborators in a non-hierarchical context. The autistic cognitive style only becomes an impediment in the context of hierarchical organisation. As long as society rejects all forms of non-hierarchical organisation as unworkable or utopian, people with an autistic cognitive style will be systematically discriminated against.

Autistics face a challenge today similar to the challenge homosexuals were facing to a comparable extent 50 years ago. Acceptance of minorities will always be fraught with difficulties, but progress is possible.

I was student E as well. My kindred soul was also student E. It's not a good feeling and I learned that I should no longer trust teachers with my questions when I was in Grade 8.

I had no idea if this thread would take off or not, but it is clear that the problem I have seen with Student "E" is not unique. There are many of us who either are, or have been, a Student "E." I want to thank everyone who has shared experiences so far. I am going to search my mind for personal experiences I may have had when I was a student in school to relate to this.

My plan today is to closely monitor Student "E" during the class I work with. I am going to chronicle the manner in which the teacher interacts with him. I will also try to determine any noticeable ways his delivery is different from the other students.

I have found it most enlightening to read the responses so far. It is my wish that Student "E" individuals will someday be treated with the dignity and respect they deserve. But for now, it appears that society in general will (knowingly or unknowingly) target unique individuals and press upon them ...

AND ...

as incredible of a coincidence as this may seem ... at this exact moment ... I have just encountered total disrespect as a professional at the school where I teach ... I will explain later ... but I guess I too will never fit in ... I guess I am Teacher "E."

All during my teaching career I have been lucky to have a classroom to call my own. Whenever special handicap and behavior units were brought to our school and needed a room, it was me that would have to give up his room to accommodate it. Then I would have to work out of other teachers' rooms when they weren't using them so that I could teach my students. Now, as a type of intervention specialist, I had a room that I had to share with another teacher. When that teacher retired, rather than allow me to have the room, I got moved to an 8 foot by 8 foot janitor's closet with a beat up metal desk out of the bus garage (while all the other teachers got brand new desks). After expressing my concerns last year, the administration found me a classroom where I could keep my materials, plan, and pull out students from classes when they need extra help. After restroom duty earlier this morning (while typing the above the post) I returned to my room to find a history class in their working on computers. It turns out they will be using my room as a computer lab for the high school. And it was too noisy in there for me to plan effectively.

Why didn't the administration tell me of this arrangement beforehand?

Why can't I have a private room like everyone else (including the intervention specialists)?

I don't doubt the central thesis of this thread, which is that autistics are treated with less respect than their peers.

However, I can possibly deconstruct how this one type of situation goes wrong--it's about timing, and gauging emotional reaction (both things which are hard to do correctly.) The teacher was becoming more and more irritable when each person asked to go get a book, and snapped at person #5. If the autistic student had been the SECOND person to ask to go outside, the teacher would have allowed it (having just allowed the first student to go, she couldn't deny the second person without showing obvious favoritism.) By the time the FOURTH person asked, all the NT kids would notice by the annoyance in the teacher's voice and expression on her face she was getting tired of being asked. The autistic kid wouldn't notice these cues, and so goes on to become #5 and the teacher decides to make an example of them to discourage any further requests from the class.

That is an interesting theory on this. I will try to notice these things in the future with him and see if that might be a cause of this. Thanks for the input.

I think this is the most accurate eggsplanation of this situation.
I'm not convinced that it was caused by autistic aura, but that the student asked too late, and didn't know when not to ask.
I wonder if the student spent some time deliberating in his mind whether or not to ask the teacher.
Next time, he may get bester responses if he doesn't deliberate, but just asks quickly.
There was the delay in the beginning, and not picking up social cues not to ask later.

I sued to be a college program for high school students. Well, the class I took was early childhood. The teacer went on to explain how you can't punish a child for something they did they day before or something. Anyway, me and a few friends were chewing gum in her class, but see, gum isn't allowed. She waited until after about a few days to scold me. She even told me that because of my actions, I had to stay longer with dealing with the younger kids. She almost made me late for my bus. Not once did she ever scold the person who gave me the gum or the other girl she gave it to either.

It was rather disheartening. When I told my parents, they were furious, and because of what had happened, I quit the program period and never went back.