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y-pod
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Joined: 16 Apr 2010
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28 Sep 2014, 2:47 am

I would like to think I'm assertive instead of aggressive. I stand up to foes and reason with them. I don't engage in physical violence. Coming from my background, violent behaviors or swearing is a sign of poor self control and lack of communication skills, and I wouldn't want to be considered either of those.

Of course since I'm a small person it's in my best interest to not be violent as well, considering others can hit back. :D I recognize the signs of a person with elevated temper and usually run away before it gets to a dangerous level. Years of training from my mom's violent outbursts taught me that.


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Evil_Chuck
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28 Sep 2014, 8:26 am

No, not at all. I'm very passive and I have a hard time standing up for myself or others. I feel like a coward sometimes. I just want the world to leave me alone. But when someone hurts or upsets me, I never forget it.


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PaulHubert
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28 Sep 2014, 9:08 am

Evil_Chuck wrote:
No, not at all. I'm very passive and I have a hard time standing up for myself or others. I feel like a coward sometimes. I just want the world to leave me alone. But when someone hurts or upsets me, I never forget it.


I can relate; I don't know how old you are, but I don't get the impression you're in your mid 20s. I'll tell you right now, that unless you hang out with jerks, you won't teased and bullied, at least not very often. Sure, people will try to take advantage of you and walk all over you if they think they can get away with it, but simply stating your feelings assertively and saying no once in a while; and not getting emotional about it is usually all it takes. Whereas in high school and in college, you may have to resort to being aggressive more often (as opposed to assertive), from my experience.

I think that we either tend to focus on self, or the other person, but find it difficult accounting for both people in a relationship. Perhaps an aggressive vs passive personality dictates which person will get all the attention; I'm sure growing up getting yelled at for reasons we don't understand is a catalyst for this tenancy, as I get the impression a middle ground on this spectrum for aspies is not common, at least as far as natural tenancies go.