Ideas on how best to help my 11 yr. old son?

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Goldfish, Yes I have read Tony's book, and so many others I could probably start a small library:) I will read your thread on what has helped you. I've heard about the newer research on gut flora, probiotics, and it's very intriguing!

All of your feedback is really invaluable to me. Yes, I'm sure that he will visit this website at some point. It's amazingly reassuring to know that this site exists and that he will be supported here. I also like the idea of not focusing too much on a bunch of therapies but more on interesting things, physical activities, etc. I'm not against MineCraft as it really has helped him immensely with relating to peers. He has friends over and they play, etc. It's more the iPad youtube stuff because it's so passive, and I do worry that he is doing it more out of anxiety and avoidance than anything else. So, we are going to work on finding some other ways to sooth and get some relief from the anxiety. My husband and I have struggled ourselves with anxiety, so this stuff is not new to us and exercise, being in nature, water, has really made a positive difference.

I'll check in and let you know how he's doing going forward. I'm sure I will be seeking more opinions and advice!
One thing that's very interesting to me straight off is how many people say that they were not helped by taking antidepressant medication.
The psychiatrists all suggest a low dose could be beneficial for the anxiety but we have put it off for now as he is a pre-teen and this might mess with his hormones etc. or cause adverse side effects, which many have mentioned.

As far a schooling is concerned, great care should be taken. School was and is one of my worst sources for anxiety and depression.
A smaller school might help, but still be on the watch for bullies.

redbox1

He will be accepted in certain circles, he will never be "normal". I say, work on his self-esteem, his self-confidence, and his attitude about self. If he's comfortable in his own skin, critisms about his mistakes or inabilities won't hurt as much.

AspieUtah

This a thousand times over. I did Aikido myself. I credit it with saving my sanity. It gave me the strength of mind to forge through adversity. I'm now an engineer. It was a tough slog, and I'm constantly challenged by others in the work place. But they pay is good

I'm 48 and was only diagnosed 2 years ago. Though I've bought many books the last couple years to understand how I'm different to everybody else, I've only just started buying books on social skills. I've ordered two books for children, because seriously, I don't even know that.

Asperger?s is a whole of life challenge. You can get better at doing things, and understanding things makes coping easier, but it's always challenging.

I agree about this one. Everything goes more smoothly, if an autistic person knows they're accepted. Your son is also very lucky to have parents who care.

Feel free to get in touch via pm if you have any questions/comments or would like a bit of an update since I wrote that.

I just wanted to chip in and comment on the Minecraft subject-- I wouldn't worry too much. As others have said, it's just what kids (ASD or otherwise) do these days. And it *is* a great bridge to social opportunities. My son on the spectrum has made all of his school contacts because of wearing Minecraft shirts, and his knowledge of the game has impressed kids who otherwise may have considered him too weird to associate with... it's a very easy way for him to have a least ONE thing that other kids his age can relate to.