Mirror dismay

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I used to hate mirrors, but now I love them. They allow me to see myself in some sort of existence. But, it is really weird to see someone else in the mirror with me. Never really got used to it. With photographs, I stare away from the lens, so I get that 'crazy' look - I probably do the same with mirrors - only look in my eyes when I'm trying to see if there's some damage.

Yes, I can relate to this clearly.

My reflection has no connection to my inner personality, sometimes I wonder how I might be perceived towards other people because my personality and quirks doesn't seem to match my face.
My inner mind and voice doesn't match my face character, this is probably the reason why people can't undertstand me properly and can't second guess my actions, I consider this a good thing. They certainly can't judge an AS book by the cover.

When I was younger, my interests in coaches/buses and mercedes E-class (1996 model) led me to act in a way that I imagined that I was that vehicle, I use to act as though I was that vehicle moving imitating the gears, noises, suspension, weight. I'm not sure whether this was a AS thing but I did end this imaginanation at the age of 17.
Although my imagination never led me to believe that I was physically a bus, my imagination was more of a obsession for the vehicle imitated, I never expected to get a shock when I looked in the mirror it is different to inner personality.

There seems to be a connection between mirrors and photos as ways of seeing ourselves (or not, as the case may be). On a related subject, I prefer candid shots. I am completely unable to smile for the camera. The corners of my lips go up, but that's it. The rest of my face stays the same. It looks so fake I'd just rather be caught unawares.

Photos and mirrors - there's a woman looking back at me but I'm not 100% certain it's me though That's my feeling about them. They both make me feel strange as though the photo/reflection is unreal.

I go by the color of the eyes. The most constant part. The age if the reflection can change over a wide range. My main recognition of others is by voice, and highth. Women who show up in heels are strangers till they speak.

OMG. I am in a virtual classroom, where all the people in the class can see each other live, from various locations. I am on camera. I hate it. I hate coming in and sitting in front of a giant television with my image on it, and then when we go to the class, I know the entire 3 hour class I am on camera and look like...??? What an identity crisis. Wait a minute, I have some vodka in my purse, should I duck down and add a splash to my latte??? So I can get through the next 3 hours???

I seem to look completely different in the mirror than I do in pictures. I guess in the mirror, you see yourself subjectively, whereas a camera is objective.
Still, both are different from who I see in my mind.
I can't look into my eyes for very long.

Sometimes, when I'm stressed about death, I'll look at myself reflected in 2 or more mirrors so I can see my body from outside angles. It helps me detach from it and see it as a vehicle; an object.
This relieves about as much anxiety as it causes.