I am a "twit". What to do?

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I do not remember when I have last blood test. I do not remember when (or even if) I have my last physical health check. My dysexecutive problems are markedly similar to the descriptions of SCT or even ADD. I do not know so precisely when they started.

There are a lot of jobs that require simple repetition but in your case it may be best to try and find something specifically set up for people with mental conditions. There are places that specialize in that here, but I don't know if you have that in Poland.

A blood test could rule out, or point out, things like hypothyroidism.

I do not know what is the cause of my dysexecutiveness. Problems with thyroid? I am afraid of blood tests because it can be painful. I can concentrate better on simple things or jobs. I rather have not daytime sleepiness. My scholastic skills are good. It is interesting why I have something which looks like persistent concentration and attention deficit disorder.

I looked at percentile chart about weight of boys and my birth weight (2150 g) was even below 2nd percentile on it. My birth body weight to length ratio was quite significantly below 5th percentile. Maybe it is related to my mental health problems? Other members of my family had larger birth weight so far as I know and they are for me more "neurotypical" than me.

When I was diagnosed with my various mental illnesses, I had a comprehensive blood test, an EEG and an MRI to rule out organic causes.

My birth weight was 1.6kg, premature and I am autistic. Interesting similarity we have there.

A lot of your description sounds like what someone told me about their eggsperience of ADHD.
You should see a professional about the EF problems.
You don't need to know what eggsacly are all the problems, but go in saying that you have problems with many aspects of doing a complex task.

I "hate" complex tasks! I do not like writing essays, making projects etc. But simple, repetitive tasks are often rather pleasant for me and may even not be boring. But they are rather not so profitable... I may have really large intellectual potential but because of executive functioning problems it may be not fully utilized.

I may think about myself as a "simpleton" and "ninny" despite my good grades in school. I also suppose that I have ADHD, but I read that impulsivity is necessary in ADHD and I may be not impulsive enough... ADHD means "attention deficit hyperactivity disorder", not "developmental impulsivity disorder". I may have problems with hyperactivity (despite supposed SCT) and attention, but impulsivity is rather not so large issue in my case. And hyperactivity may be also a symptom of autism (stimming, maybe issues with prioprioception or vestibular sense).

My family has bad approach to my problems. My brother and father (rather) do not know that I was diagnosed with a PDD before my 18th birthday. I have fear about saying it. They may "look" at me as a "moron". My parents may be "impulsive" because of their aggressive language and behavior.

You have cats in your avatar. If you like animals and are good at caring for them, then perhaps you could enjoy working for animal shelters and/or rescue groups. Most of that is simple and repetitive, and away from crowds of people.

Maybe my executive weakness is associated with low birth weight and low birth length to weight ratio? I read the work in which there were data about above 1200 male newborns who were born in 13 hospitals in Warsaw who were born on time and without congenital or developmental disorders (but low birth weight sometimes also occured among them). My birth weight was about 2,75 SD lower than average for this group (average was 3,55 kg, SD was 0,49). My birth weight to length ratio was also very low, well below 3rd percentile. Maybe my "weirdness" and "dysexecutiveness" is associated with it? Maybe I have not so large potential?

I read about "NLD" subtypes (http://non-vld.wikispaces.com/NVLD+Subtypes) and think that even social or attentional "NLDs" may not fit me (my social problems may be "worse", and more abnormal than "S-NLD" and attentional may be a combination of SCT and ADD).

I read about cases of AS (mainly on Polish forum) and notices many interesting similarities in me. I have rather learning "hyperability" than "disability".

Due to my poor birth "parameters" I may name my disorder as a more severe case of something which I might name "developmental asthenicity disorder" which is a form of autism in more serious cases (my sister have also quite poor birth "parameters", but significantly better than me and maybe have a (very) mild form of my disorder and saying that she is "mildly autistic" appears too harsh for me).

It is possible that sister of my mother's mother had profound autism. My grandmother said that her sister did not speak, had something which looks as "self-harming behaviors" and died when she was 8. I listened about the grandson of one of my grandmother's brothers who appear to have ASD worse than mine (he had speech delay and did not want to go to new places (unknown buildings?) as I remember). Maybe I received ASD genes from my grandmother's side? My mother had birth weight 2800 g and 56 cm (the method of measuring body length in Poland is other than WHO's one) at birth which means that her birth lengt-weigth percentile was very low (below 3th) as I saw here: http://www.wskfit.pl/PDF/artykuly/14005.pdf (article in Polish). Maybe PDD traits in my family are asscocated with poor birth "parameters"?

I have restricted interests in life - do not carry about job so much, as something has to be a pleasure for me to do it well. If something s boring and not intersting, it is harder to concentrate on it and paying attention. Narrow interests appear to play also a role in dysexecutiveness. Maybe "ADD symptoms" are results of AS itself? How to check if a person with PDD has AD(H)D? Many traits of PDD and AD(H)D appear to overlap. Hyperactivity may be a type of stimming, inatentiveness a results of having restricited and stereotyped pattern of interests, behaviors etc. But I do not have such an explanation for SCT symptoms. Do all cases of ASD appear to have ADHD in it?

Maybe my "twitness" is a combnation of three main factors:

1. (generalised, developmental) concentration deficit disorder (vel SCT, causing sluggishness, lethargy-lke symptoms, being "spacey", "in the fog" and prone to daydreaming, having "less energy" than others, some confusability, problems with processing informations as quickly or accurately as others)
2. restricted, stereotyped pattern of activities, behaviors, interests ("obsessions" are common in my mind, they may cause dfficulties in attention, hyperactivity may be a sort of stimming (sometimes it "billows" into wilder stims when I am alone, it may also reduce interests in getting job, planning about future)
3. environmental problems (such as lack of private computer, which is "disheartening", "toxc", mildly pathological family, low amount of special therapy)

Many people with AS have NVLD (visual-spatial-motor difficulties) to different degree, but n my case nonverbal learning problems are not so large problem. Maybe CDD/SCT is associated with low birth weight?

Point three appears to be highly problematic in my case.

Lack of own computer is a quite large problem for me. I should have it earlier. Now I am somewhat "delayed" on the studies. I have to commute to the school, it takes about 3 h (about 2 x 1,5 h) every day when I go to the school. I dislike making projects. I am quite obsessive and socially inept. I think that I might have worse mental disorder than it seems. I do not known my occupational abilities. Family does many good thinks for me, but they are "elementary", such as giving food, clothes, place to sleep. It is interesting why I have "dysexecutive symptoms" and what is medical name of the state(s) causing them.

My twitness make me a "space cadet", sluggard and wimp without strictly technical skills and gift of unusual visual thinking abilities. I have problems with motivation to do projects on the studies. Projects are problematic and hard for me. I like to do simple tasks, but even they are done by me slowly, like "for fun" and maybe even no so precisely. Job must be a fun for me, when it is not, I tend to do it even worse... So my occupational skills appear to be problematically low, I am also socially inept and obsessive. In the home I have no support in my problems.

I may have problems in writing "anything", I can be so "chaotic", deconcentrated, confused... Maybe I have some sort of bad perfectionism? I want to get very good grade at the end of MSc studies. I may be afraid that if I will have lower grade (such as good or satisfactory) then I will not find a job. I also have some ambitions about my school results. I am ambivalent, I think.

Maybe psychiatric medication worsens some of my abilities and make me even more slower, sluggish? It limits "obsessiveness" but it appears that I sleep more because of getting it. Last time I spent about 11 hours in bed (from about 11 p.m. to 10.20 a.m.).

I suppose that my executive functioning problems have something to do with significant hypotrophy on birth. I do not know so precisely how large my asymmetric hypotrophy was. I do not know my gestational age at birth. It was on time, but 2150 g in 39th week looks worse than 2150 g in 37the week. On the chart below 2150 g in 37th week is about 3rd percentile, in 38th week about 1st percentile, in 39th week clearly below 1st percentile.



I tried to ask my mother about the week of pregnancy in which I was born... On Polish weight-length chart (http://www.wskfit.pl/PDF/artykuly/14005.pdf) for on-time born newborns 2150 g and 53 cm looks really bad, it appears to be below 0,5th percentile for "weight-length".