Has anyone else been told they are too blunt?

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"She has no filter." ...

Always!

I prefer to be straight-forward to lessen the risk of any misunderstanding if I am polite or sugar- coat things.

It has its positives and negatives.

Yes, I am blunt.

I have heard, "Tell us how you really feel" more times than I can count.

I have gotten along better with people by learning to just keep my mouth shut. I outright tell people I won't share my opinions. If I do, I offend people. It is mostly because my opinions are deep and I have a long list of reasons why I hold them. Most people just want an "I like it" or "I don't like it" and they don't want to know all the reasons behind it. The problem is that I do not like what most people like and then I hear, "WHY don't you like it???" So, now I just say that I don't share my opinions. Once in a while, I will come across someone I feel "safe" to share an opinion with, who doesn't seem easily offended.

However, I still say many things that are borderline inappropriate. Usually, these come across as funny because people just can't believe I would say such a thing! The shock value does come in handy sometimes.

I've seen more than a few people gulp after I say something, and then I realize, "whoops, I guess I shouldn't have said that." Sometimes I think if I were male, I'd have more leeway with my bluntness. It seems it is especially unbecoming of a female.

My old dead grandma used to say 'if you cannot say anything nice, don't say anything at all'...hence the main reasoning behind my non-verbal episodes.

Big Labowsky anyone?

These kinds of common phrases are very revealing of the mind-set and expectation of deception.
I've often heard other phrases like this, for example:
"I'll be honest with you."
and
"I ain't even gonna lie."

Wow, what does this tell you about people?

People tend to communicate on multiple levels, usually on the first one, everything is a "lie". But its more like a double, triple, maybe quadruple entendre.

Yes, on multiple occasions by those close to me.

I've had a lot of people tell me that I'm very blunt and honest. I don't really see it as being a bad thing.

Yes, on several occasions, throughout my life. I've even told people: "If you don't wanna hear it, straight-up, don't ask ME!!"

Am I the only Aspie who is not blunt? I find being blunt really hard. I find it hard being honest too (or is it the same thing?) Even NTs have told me that I should just be honest and not to worry so much about how others are feeling all the time. But I still can't make myself be blunt. If I do decide to tell the truth even though I know it will be awkward, I feel that awkwardness they're feeling. Doesn't anyone else here have this?

There is a great divide for me between being able to communicate opinions and communicate feelings. Opinions = blunt. Feelings = often can't get them out easily or at all. Sometimes I *feel* something so strongly I want to tell the person (could be any kind of feeling, good or bad), but when it comes to actually expressing it, I clam up or am extremely awkward and end up not doing justice to the depth of my feeling.

In the past, I have dealt with this by writing it out in a letter and having the person read it in front of me. The problem is, that on paper, I can be *extremely* intense and the intensity might hurt someone or scare them. It's almost like in moments of extreme feeling, I need to write it then have a third party look it over and "mediate" my writing to tone it down to a level that still communicates what I need but is more suitable.

More "feeling" comes out, too, in the music I write than any words I say. Most of what I *say* is more objective in nature and a little detached. Or blunt.

I'm not blunt. The people i'm talking to are just pansies.

I'm not sure bluntness is that straightforward a concept. I am more blunt than people want (I think) but, well, I don't like feeling judged, others don't much either, and it usually does nothing good, so when I can, I try to avoid saying too much what I think if it seems like it will come out as a negative judgment of someone. Sometimes I miss what will work, we all do. And sometimes as people recently told me in a thread a person might be looking to pick a fight.

I don't see anything wrong about trying to be sensitive to others' feelings. We're all somewhere on a scale of bluntness to tact. If you want to be a bit less circumspect in certain circumstances, you could try that out too.

Ergh. My previous post makes me look like a vapid twat. I wish i could delete my posts here.

On topic i have caused some strong reactions from what i have said to people, which could be attributed to being blunt.

This guy told me yesterday that "even a brick has more compassion than you." You know, it does get tiring to apologize all the times for the things I've said. Really, being rude is the last thing I want to do. My "politeness filter" just disintegrates sometimes, leaving me to express nothing but the blunt truth. I wish I could sugarcoat all my words and be phony (or so it seems anyway) like normal people but I just don't have that skill.