How do I not volunteer information when asked?
And then he never did that again.
Oh dear. I'm glad I don't have your job. You're a brave soul.


I run deliveries part-time for a pharmacy and this customer is paranoid schizophrenic and dissociative... and seemingly obsessed with me. She has recently taken to having her deliveries delayed as much as a week to ensure that I am the one that delivers to her. What's worse is the questions she asks me.
On a number of occasions she has asked me if I'm single. She asked for my cell phone number and my personal address. She's figured out my work schedule and now wants to know more about my personal schedule. She even asked me the last time I saw her if she could call me to give her a ride to the store.
I mentioned a few of these things to a coworker who laughed and told me to tell her I'm engaged and even wear a fake ring.
I hate socializing for the most part, dislike dishonesty, and despise confrontation. Plus I'm supposed to act agreeable and friendly as a representative of a business, right?
That would be in relation to the business. It has nothing to do with personal information. Indeed there is probably plenty of business related information which you shouldn't disclose to customers either.
The "act agreeable and friendly as a representative of a business" only applies to things directly related to your job.
What would you be "betraying" to tell her "no", "that isn't approriate" or "that wouldn't help me do my job".
Um, maybe she is an Aspie, and when you give Aspie like answers you are turning her on?
I mean the above statement is way out in left field, but there is the possibility.
I like the idea of taking to your boss, and maybe requesting you don't want to deliver to her. But I am going to warn you, the first word out of his mouth, or at least in his brain, after you tell him the story is, and please I am just telling you my experience after 30 years of working with NTs, will be 'fag'. They will only think there is a quickie you are missing.
I dare say, you might want to come up with another story why you don't want to deliver to her other than the truth. Yes, you are going to have to lie, but just look at it from a horny NT's point of view.
That's ridiculous. I'm sorry you have had bad experiences with people who should behave professionally, but that is most certainly not what most professional males are going to think in this situation. :\
Again, thanks to everyone for offering advice here. Thought I'd give a bit of an update on my situation:
I arrived to work on Friday and after clocking in and checking to see what other deliveries I had, two of my coworkers asked while grinning if I was looking forward to my day. I missed their intent, and replied with a hesitant "Not especially." After they asked me if I had my ring ready I got the 'joke.'
At this point I kinda dropped my guard and I think if the two hadn't backed down it would have been a full-on meltdown. I started yelling and listing off my grievances with this customer and how much her behavior creeped me out. One of the coworkers got quiet and said, "Oh, wow. That's not right. That's clearly harassment."
My boss was nearby and overheard the slight outburst and after some discussion decided that I could let another coworker handle the delivery which was fine by me.
After I finished my first round of deliveries I got back to the pharmacy and saw that her meds were still there, undelivered. When I asked about them, it turned out that she called, said she wouldn't be home, and needed them delivered on Saturday instead. I'm the only delivery driver that works Saturdays...
I got to work on Saturday after another sleepless, anxiety ridden night. I left her delivery as my last because if things went bad I didn't want my whole day f'ed up before I'd finished the rest of my work.
I wish I'd known or thought of the line "I'm not comfortable sharing that information" as I think it would have kept things from every progressing to where they are. I went with the intention of using this response if she asked any personal questions. If she presses the issue I would have said how the sharing of such information was not allowed by my job even going so far as telling her I had been reprimanded for telling some of the things I already had. The last bit is a bit of a lie, but not too far from the truth.
I must have dropped the mask I usually wear to each delivery as her first comment to me was a lecture on how I need to smile when I greet a customer . After I waited for her to scrounge up the money to pay for her meds she asked me if this was my last delivery. I thought the question was innocuous enough so I shared that it was. Her response was unexpected.
She was glad that it was my last delivery because that meant that I could return to her house after work to give her a ride to Walmart to return some things. She even showed me the sack of items she had to return. It was not a request by any means. It was an expectation.
I hadn't anticipated anything like this so I didn't have a mental script to rely on. I think I just said something like, "I can't do that," and gave some excuse about having to babysit my niece immediately after work (Not really a lie either as I was supposed to help my dad watch her).
"What about Sunday?"
"No, I'll still be watching my niece."
"Next week? Remember how I said you're easy to talk to (I'm thinking, "What?!") and a nice person? We both go to church and church people need to help each other out."
Okay, it's my Christian responsibility to give mentally unstable strangers rides in my personal vehicle. Yep, noted.
I gave some reply about not knowing what my schedule would be like that far into the future and how I couldn't guarantee anything. I'm sure I probably apologized a couple times in there too. My mind was reeling at this point trying to grasp at anything I could say to shut her up and allow me to leave. She finally let up after asking me to check her mailbox.
Back at the pharmacy I let my boss know all that had transpired and he agreed that a line had been crossed. He added a message that would pop up when the pharmacists went to fill any future medication for her that someone other than me was to handle the delivery. He told me something like, "She's several French fries short of a Happy Meal. I think she's harmless, but we're not going to take that chance."
I guess the outcome was positive. I won't have to deal with her any more at work and I at least tried to confront her and stand up for myself.
I literally laughed out loud when reading this, but the thought had occurred to me that she might be on the spectrum herself. She's obviously blind to social boundaries even more so than I am and other Aspies I know. Can't really comment on anything else though.
That whole situation must have been horrible for you. At least things have been resolved now. You can rest assured that if a similar situation ever happens in the future you'll be able to handle it. It's been a real learning curve. You should really thank that crazy woman (from a distance).
_________________
It's like I'm sleepwalking
She probably had that figured out!
Sheesh, the things people expect and assume of others. I have trouble going to certain places on my job because sometimes panhandlers are hanging around. And they're not homeless or destitute...they just want money to buy lottery tickets.

Yeah, good outcome, especially that your boss and co-workers now understand what you've been putting up with. I'm relieved on your behalf. lol I have been through similar situations.
I find this thread a bit painful to read because I have this problem, too. And it seems like some people can somehow detect it and seek to take advantage of it.
It bothers me to read that you had to make an "excuse" for exercising a right. It wouldn't bother me if I didn't understand exactly what that feels like.
I think having the stock phrases "That isn't an appropriate subject" for questions and "That would not be appropriate" for requests for action is helpful. Use one and disengage. Don't say anything else. If you feel like you are under huge pressure to say something else, let it be, "That's all I can say" and then get out of the situation physically.
I am glad it worked out and hoped it gets better and stays that way.
I am glad that this worked out for you. I also have a problem not answering questions. I feel really uncomfortable and "rude" even if it is the other person who is being rude and intrusive!
I am trying to think of what I would say in a similar situation. I might say something like, "It would not be professional for me to give out personal information to a customer," or something along those lines.
PS - I laughed out loud at the list of questions and answers someone else posted, especially the one about the person having to get their own phone number!
Prof_Pretorius
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Heh, I wouldn't describe her as such. Physical attractiveness is, of course, highly subjective, but I doubt she would be considered "good looking" by very many people.
Bad teeth with an awkward smile that seems to overly exaggerate that fact. I'm about 5'10" and somewhat overweight. She's quite a bit shorter with a comparable build. She has a bit of acne and doesn't seem to wear makeup to hide that. Anyway, that's a bit to help you make your own judgement.
