The positive side of Asperger's

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I find Norny's viewpoint clear-headed.

Rugulach: I believe the key to finding your desired woman is to always be personally clean (body, clothes), to always walk with your head held high, and to make sure she knows that you're listening to what she is saying, while she makes an effort to listen to what you say.

I don't think having a iconoclastic view of things really help much once you reach a certain age. It might help in younger people, who are naturally trying to sow their wild oats, and trying to make sense of the world.

Also: make sure your opinions are not of the doctrinaire variety, and NEVER lecture.

This is good stuff. My big problem has always been translating good info that is general in nature to something practical and concrete. At this point, I think a recipe/cookbook type of stuff for making oneself more attractive and starting a conversation etc would be most helpful.

Women like "manly" men who cook, I've noticed.

I know it's tough to pull off--but you have to convey the fact that you HAVE opinions while not seeming stuck in them.

I'll agree, these are good points. Always try to look fairly decent-tuck in your shirt unless you are dressed in gym clothes, and if your gut is too big to tuck in your shirt, get bigger shirts.

Make sure you look people in the eye occasionally, and smile when you make eye contact with them. THis is true even for strangers that you are passing out in public. Learned that from one of my therapists. It seems that smiling at women makes you more attractive to them, also shows you have high self esteem. This is something I didn't do before, probably because I didn't have very high self esteem (still don't but it is getting better).

For females you are already familiar with, like at work, church, or other organizations, find things to start conversations with them. It might be as easy as asking them how there weekend was (used that one yesterday). Obviously avoid topics about religion and politics. If you are at Church, you might ask them what they thought of the sermon, but keep it more general.

If they are dressed nicely, compliment them on what they are wearing, but be tactful! Don't tell them it makes them look hot-that can get you a sexual harassment charge at work. Just say something like "That blouse looks good on you" or things like that. Notice if they have a new hairdo, glasses, or something like that and compliment them on that as well.

In terms of striking up conversations with strangers, it will take a little more work. The one book I read on dating while I was still single suggested wearing what I would call "conversational clothing", meaning shirts or hats that can lead to a discussion. These would contain a city name or a logo for a sports team. If you get one, read up on the city/team so you can discuss it with another if they comment on it, but don't lecture them too much or talk for too long.

If you see an interesting female wearing conversational clothing, use that to start a discussion. Say you see a woman you would like to get to know better wearing a "Boston, Mass." shirt. Ask her if she has been to Boston. Say you have always wanted to visit there (even if you really haven't) or mention that you have been there (if you have been). If she has been there or lived there you can ask her advice about things to see while there, etc. Compare notes about sightseeing if you have both been there before. Since most Aspies like to read up on lots of stuff, try to learn a little about the 20 largest cities in your country so you can talk a little about one of these if necessary. Same for the local sports teams even if you really don't like that sport too much. The point is to find a way to start a conversation with them. Remember to look them in the eye occasionally while talking to them, smile at them, and don't bore them (keep your comments short but not too short). Pay attention to what they are saying and comment of some of those to let her know you are listening to them.

I met my wife in a 12 step organization that we are both in. One of the other groups in town that I knew she attended once in a while had a group anniversary celebration, and I asked her the next day if she had attended it. That is how I broke the ice with her. Something simple like that. She said she didn't because she went out picking apples with her parents instead. So I asked her about that-where they went, how it went, etc.

She also told me later on that one of the things that impressed her on our first day was after she told me one of her interests was crafts and sewing, I asked her what sort of things she made. That showed her that I was interested in her and her interests. Must have worked, we were engaged 3 1/2 months later.

Those are some of the things I have learned/figured out recently. I can't really gauge exactly how well they work because I am not asking anyone out on a date (my wife probably wouldn't like that idea) but I do notice more females out in public looking at me, smiling at me, even speaking to me.

Chimichanga!

Now, that's what I'm talking about.

I'm sure there's plenty more of these detailed pearls of wisdom where they came from.

No point in holding back.

Yep...Once a lady goes beyond her early to mid 20's, she's usually receptive to guys who act like adults, rather than guys who act like the Fonz.