"Emotional meltdowns"?

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Time has definitely mellowed me.

I envy that.

That is what I meant when I said 'anger' the overwhelming sadness and frustration.
I always thought of how I felt as a form of anger, but now that you wrote this I see that your explanation is closer to how it feels to me too than my 'anger' label.

Thanks
Star

Thank you for all of your input, it certainly helps to not feel alone in this.
Tomorrow I shall face the consequences of Friday and I like the line of the smog so maybe I'll try it It's good to be able to laugh about it a little as well.

I really recognised that "turning anger in yourself" and feeling sad as a consequence. For me the meltdowns usually get triggered because of something social, eg I've worked really hard on something and only get criticism for that or I've asked my brother A LOT of times to turn the volume of his guitar down and he just turns it up again (in such case I will shout and throw things because I can afford it )
But the crying is also continuing because of these little recordings that I play in my head, things that might have happened a couple of months ago even, but that I see at that difficult time in another light. And I feel sad, panicky (this must stop now, how am I going to deal with this later etc...) But once the crying is over, I feel better and now it seems like I'm not so crazy after all

So maybe solutions to this, depending on the severity, I would consider, dealing with psychological issues that lie underneath, learn to recognise overload and so prevent the difficult consequences, change the stimuli (eg change jobs, I might try this as well), some pharmaceuticals, some classes, just let it out as privately as possible and maybe explain what upset you to the relevant people after calming down - and be nice to yourself And I'm sure there must be other things as well

But thanks again!

life aint nothing but a thing. i dont let things get to me asmuch, anymore. usually what i did if something was going to sneek up on me and trigger a behaviour i just used breathing techiques. it sounds really dumb but if you stop and just breath, you'll relax and in about 5 minutes maybe a little more ittle help alot. its not full prof though

Cordelia I sympathise. I bad social phobia and panic attacks when I was younger and I just got .... ever...so...gradually...better

Part of my anxiety was the fear that my presence was unhelpful and that I was imposing myself and dragging the group down. I found that I gradually learned the rules of going to the pub etc. and played along with them. This helped me to feel that I did belong and things started to get better.

thanks....i read through all the posts again. I so appreciate this site and those that have given advice. I know that there are more people like me in the world...and it provides a great comfort to me. I'll also try the breathing techniques.

The other thing I learned when reading these posts, that I didn't realize before....is that I don't get angry when people are mean, I get sad....I don't think people can handle that emotion in groups. I think that's why asperger's people are normally kinder and matter of fact, we don't think in a mean way...why would we? It's not logical to hurt other people.

However, I also understand that there is a limit we can all take, and I have gotten so mad before at people, too. It's usually about 10 minutes later when I realize they were making fun of me.

Thank you for a good post "foreignwomen"....and for the great replies that have also helped me. Yeah, MikeK, I am starting to learn how to blend into a group better from when I was in highschool, however, it's a practice thing and I'm still not all the way there yet. Just last Friday I had a big flight fear-issue from a group, and ended up crying all night at home becuase I'm afraid I'll never get there all the way.

peace.

I still have meltdowns, but they tend to just be big pity parties for myself. I don't cry much anymore, and I haven't tried to kill anyone in at least a year. As to the violence, my wife (and smoking) really mellowed me out. But, there are still people who know just how to push me over the age. Shockingly, I'm okay with my father now. My mother, on the other hand....

I very much relate to these "cry storms," LOL, I love that name. I always thought of them as big upsets. Mine are mostly caused when someone gets angry and I try to "fix" the situation and they get even angrier. I always have mine at home. When I worked outside my home, I played a role and just focused on my work. I didn't want to socialize with them or have them know me in anything but the most superficial way. I tried to look at myself and my co-workers as cogs in the work machine and did my best to leave my ego out of it. If I had exposed myself or had any expectations of anything other than a paycheck, I could not have dealt with it. Disassociating the real me from the work me was the only way I could function. My strategy worked for me as I always received good performance reviews and was thought of as quiet and dependable.

Colnazepam or Clonapin is not a stimulant. It is a fairly new tranquilizer (or at least it is in that class). It is not an SSRI. Don't let the name tranquilizer scare you, or the fact that it is slightly habit forming. I've missed a dose for more than 10 hours with no effect (except, of course, that my anger issues come back). I am 64, and I have had anger issues all my life. I have sometimes said "what is WRONG with my. Why am I so angry. I have nothing to be angry about (given that most of the time, I've had a good job, plenty to eat, a fair amount of social interaction....even though most of it was a failure).....and so on. But I would still come out burning angry at everyone, sometimes when someone just said good morning. The drug has stopped that cold. It is not something to be taken without a doctor's supervision, and I don't know if it's going ot do the trick for you, but as far as I know, it's only been around for 20 years, and I've had problems for a lot longer than that. I've only been on it for about 2 years, but it's calmed me down without knocking me cold.
Best,
Beentheredonethat

Thanks!

I also understad what you wrote about the work you and the emotional you. I wish I could have thought of handling work that way. I did not. I had to work with a team of people and that brought many frustrations and set backs for me because I felt so isolated and misunderstood and misjudged by the people I worked with.

I keep my mouth shut and have a high level of tolerance but once the glass was full it was full and I would open my mouth and give them a piece of my very honest mind that would usually shock them, hurt them, and make them hate me.

I worked in a company for 6 years and at the end they revoked my contract because "I didn't fit in their company's culture" which was mostly sleeping around with anyone and everyone... I was upset when they did that, but I got a lot of money as compensation and I was planning to leave anyway...

Star

From last month, but I wanted to bring the issue up again.


Meltdowns.

I guess I can describe mine, I've had plenty of them, but I oftern can't remember them because I blot them out. For me they usually end up being with my seeking isolation, while in the midst of a black abyss of sadness. Feelings of utterhopelessness and self loathing. Just alot of emotional pain, feeling like the weight of the world is crushing me until it's unending weight. Haven't had a full one in a long time, but I've gotten very close, having minature-meltdowns and anxiety attacks. I actually become physically hotter and feverish when they happen.

As for the trigger, most of all it seems to be me having to move on with my life and "live." Something I can't seem to handle. People encouraging or giving me crap about it. Also my people telling me that i"m gonna suddenly change and "become a man." Hell I feel close to one just thinking about this... Gah... thats it. Just posting this in complete.