Can DX be used against me?

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I agree with all the other posters on this one. I am an Aspie with 2 teens and a husband I'd bet $ is a rapid-cycling bipolar. Since he's high-functioning & very successful, his behaviour gets written off as 'driven' (not OCD) efficient (not tyrannical, bullying & abusive)hard working (not workaholic). I deliberately refrain from getting any formal diagnosis or treatment for anything other than Arthritis. I've seen him use confidential info against people, break deep confidences and take pleasure in abusing power. His staff calls him Stalin to his back. They remain on board because under him they earn more than most in this field can imagine! He is emotionally & psychologically abusive but as an obtuse in-my-own-world emotionally autonomous Aspie, it usually bounces off or goes right past me. Sometimes I have to mull what he says over & figure out how a NT would react to such experiences in order to realize "OOH! He's trying to make me feel worthless! Okay; how would I react if I truly cared what he thinks?" It drives him nuts! I know he would use AS to ruin me in a divorce. He's tried hard to distance my kids from me by flat out lying about me. they know me & my habits well so there is no chance he'll succeed at this. the kids are on to him & have seen his abusive side too many times. A judge, however, could be fooled by his polished bull-shit act very easily. He can present himself incredibly well & appear as sane & stable & very impressive. Do not get a formal diagnosis as long as this person is in your life & can find out. It will be used to take away your kids, make others who know you treat you like you're dangerous and compromise your career (if you work outside your home). Keep your AS to yourself!

First off, where in the ATX do you live? My wife, daughter, and I are over near the old Mueller Airport development, off of Manor. Secondly, I have been pursuing getting new private insurance for the family, and my daughter has been denied by five companies because of the dx, so it's certainly not helpful with insurance companies. Only option at this point is the risk pool, or lying about it.

I doubt anyone where I work has ever heard of WrongPlanet, or of Asperger's Syndrome. And if for some reason someone at work were to stumble across this site, I doubt they'd be able to identify me based on my posts. I am considerably more open and chattier online than I am in real life.

But if she is looking at WP at work, it is possible for her internet behavior to be watched and at least her supervisors could know.

yeah they watch you at work and in school these days.

thanks for all the posts. i now have another reason not to get a DX

Absolutely and if I implied it was only AS, that wasn't my intention. This goes on with many things and it is usually brought on by ignorance. I've seen people pigeon holed for an illness and the person doing it doesn't even conciously realize they are doing just that. I don't know if that's human nature to start looking for symptoms or why that is, but I've seen it enough that it would be a concern to me personally.

You know what is so sad? It seems there are many of us adults who feel this way for different reasons.

Isn't it sad that freedom is dying. What about all the work that has been done to promote civil rights, and celebrate differences, and teach tolerance. The world is getting sicker by the minute.

Before we all get too paranoid however, please remember that people with disabilities have children. Gay people have children. Disabled people have jobs and go to school, and lead their lives. Sometimes there are insurance programs run through the state that help people get insurance who can't be insured privately. Sometimes there isn't, but it's usually worth looking for resources to help.

In a custody situation, everything is looked at..including disability, but the focus remains on the well-being of the child/ren involved. They look at income, mental health, whether you can keep a job, whether you drink or are on drugs, all sorts of things. It is Federal Law that a disability alone can not preclude one from being a parent. A good lawyer will be able to support those involved.

There are laws in place to support a disabled worker as well. Some states have better rules than others, some states enforce them better than others.

There is anther side to all this, so please don't use this discussion as the last word. Keep an open mind, and find resources to support you in whatever given situation you find yourself in.

It's usually the person with more money and greater willingness to be aggressive who will win a custody dispute. At the very least they will be able to obtain more from the weaker parent, than that parent would have been willing to relinquish otherwise.

Be sure you don't submit any medications that can be associated with mental health, including Wellbutrin, any of the SSRI's, or tricylics. Sleeping pills, valium, and xanax can also trigger a closer look, as will Ritalin and other ADHD meds.

The problem is they are so expensive, most people have to submit.

SD

yeah... i don't really know what i WOULD do with a DX if COULD even actually get one...

coming to WP is daily affirmation enough that i have AS or something therabouts... and this therapy is FREE!! !!

This is why the only non-work-related web site I go to when at work is the Environment Canada weather page for the city in which I live. I need Internet access at work because there are web sites I need access to (eg, Canada Post, to look up postal codes). But I also know that the company can at any time decide to monitor someone's Internet usage. Misuse of the Internet can lead to disciplinary action, up to and including termination. I don't risk it.

I was always hoping that a DX would be of some benefit. But I don't want drugs, and I'm not sure what else there is that they could do for me. Now this is just convincing me that it is of no point whatsoever.

A fear I have is that the coming national health (USA) may at some point forcibly medicate those with "mentals" like AS if officially dx.

Well there are no drugs to treat AS, just co-morbid conditions. At this point there aren't even rehabilitative or coping services available for adults, only children. Really, at this point the only thing you would get out of a diagnosis without co-morbid conditions would be peace of mind, so you have to weigh it. As for me, the insurance loss is a show stopper. I won't even go there. I don't have any co-morbid conditions now and I'm certainly not sending any flags to an insurance company. I used to work on insurance software, so I know how easy it is to become "disqualified" and how hard if not impossible it is to be covered once you are. For me, I make too much money to get anything from the government, they mostly suck the money out of me, so that's out as an option. I have excellent coverage now and I'm keeping it that way.

As to work, here's how it works with disabilities. To make a disability "known" you need to file for accomodations. If you don't need accomodations, there is no process. So, if they fire you for something like being rude and you didn't get accomodations, they can claim ignorance of your disability and will most likely win. The government doesn't allow for the disability card after you are called onto the carpet. You have to ask for the accomodations first.

As far as the insurance thing goes that everyone keeps talking about, it only applies to getting private insurance. Having a diagnosis can't disqualify you from getting insurance through your job or your spouse's job.

I couldn't really afford private insurance anyway, so it's never been an issue with me. Either I have insurance through a job, or I just don't have insurance.