Still Don't Fully Understand What "Special Interests" Are

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You are talking about your interest primarily because of the interest. They are talking primarily to make a social connection. If they could make the social connection by grunting and speaking gibberish, they would do that. The topic is not the focus for them.

Me and this kid have a habit of grunting, making weird noises, and speaking gibberish in social connection.
It really is verry merry berry connective, much more than is language.

I know it's not a special interest...but it *seems* like one. Monologuing about the neighborhood BBQ last weekend for social lubrication with me makes as much sense as me explaining Chinese grammar at a party.

But yes, point taken. I wasn't claiming they were the same thing, only that to me, vapid chit chat like that looks like a special interest. Sort of a joke, I guess.

But do they actually monologue? Chit-chat is usually back-and-forth.

I wish they wouldn't, but they do. I find it weird. They go on and on about the neighborhood, what they made for dinner, what people gave them for Christmas. Listing all kinds of things. Like, for ten minutes sometimes, or even more! Granted, the older they get the more they do it. Maybe they're lonely? They seem to expect me to take the floor sometimes -- they ask about stuff about my new house or neighborhood or living in Japan. Like, it's a house, whatever. Japan is like everywhere else, this is the 21st century and it's one of the wealthiest countries in the world. Why go on and on about it? Can I talk about Chinese grammar instead? (No.)

This happens when I call my mom...and when I speak to other people's grandparents...I don't know. My mothers-in-law (I have two) do it a lot. Like, about one's trip to Sri Lanka, day by day -- and then the photos come out. This also happens when I talk to people next me on a plane: suddenly, I am on hour three, learning their college-aged daughter's life story, although I am showing the vaguest polite interest. One time the very macho guy next to me, on hour two, started sobbing about the separation between North and South Korea! (Which is why I do not talk to people on planes anymore.)

I know, it's social lubrication. But if *feels* like a special interest to me.

The older I get, and the less pretty, the less this happens on public transportation and outside of my family circle. So some of it must be just pointless flirting. I certainly get those signals mixed up a lot. How many dates have I been on that I only found out at the end were supposed to be dates? Many, many.

Hm. I'm fairly sure I used to have them, but have definitely toned down. I feel as though I've moved away from collecting vast amounts of information and towards doing smaller amounts of reading repetitively.

I do have other hobbies presently, too. It's also hard to say where special interest ends and procrastination begins - which of them is it that is interfering with my productivity.

I find it difficult to switch away from my interests, but very easy to switch onto them. I tend to flit back to them when I should be doing other things.