Gossip and Trust

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One tactic I use is to respond with things like, "y'know", "oh right", "hmm maybe", basically something which is an answer but isn't really giving an opinion one way or the other.

In general its politics, so look to those despicable politicians for new solutions on how to avoid the question entirely!

As to trust, some use gossip to affirm trust to them and agreeance in opinion or even to hear a valued opinion, or just another opinion...

As far as the point of the thread, I try to maintain a sense of dignity so that if gossip about me is happening I'm not looking too ashamed or embarrassed, which helps some. And if there is negative gossip like someone complains someone else is always late either I try to be sympathetic how that's hard for the person or say yes, but I enjoy him when he's here. Something like that anyway.

Sonicallysensitive, I've stated my position on this in my other post.

I'm not going to go around and around on this, because I know very firmly that I completely disagree with you about what's being said in this thread is "gossip."

Gossip is NOT just anything that's "talking about others."

By that definition, it's "gossip" to relay information about a family member's recovery following surgery.

By that definition it's gossip to answer someone's question about why your spouse isn't with you at the party, by replying that he's got stomach flu.

That's absurd.

And it's not gossip for me to say that someone in my building has betrayed my confidence and I now have learned I must not confide any longer.

What WOULD be gossip is if I went on to reveal personal things about that person, that are not germane to this discussion. Things that are none of my business to be passing along, none of your business to know about him. That's gossip.

What WOULD be gossip is if I joined this discussion with a story about someone else's betrayal. "There's a woman I know who had a confidence betrayed by one of our neighbors and I'll tell you the details too." That's gossip.

As far as I'm concerned, gossip is something that is for entertainment to the gossipers, not information, not sharing, not problem solving. Sheer and often malicious entertainment.

What I've said about the person in my life is necessary for the contribution I made to this discussion. It didn't reveal anything except that this person has betrayed me.

How is that ANY different from telling a therapist my husband betrayed a confidence, as part of a discussion about why I can't trust him?

Again, not gossip, instead necessary information germane to the problem.

And I'm not coming back to this. So stow it.

Statement


Probably subjective second opinion (i.e. you're not the doctor, you're relaying), so its gossip.


If undiagnosed by a doctor then its speculative gossip, else no, unless you then go on to talk more about it.



Without physical proof then it is gossip. Even if had proof the last part would be gossip because the fact is they may not abuse your trust in the future, however unlikely that may seem.

Also depends how you got onto the subject.



A discussion can be gossip, a discussion is about reaching an decision. A lot of gossips are discussions.

Germane just means that its relative to the discussion or gossip, i.e. applicable to both.



That's subjective opinion, and what is entertainment? I am entertained with problem solving, design and debate and will do all of those for the sheer joy of it...


What you wrote looks like gossip to me...


Many people I know prefer and recommend a good gossip with friends rather than a session with a therapy session, so IMO, its not different!


All that said, again, gossip isn't always a bad thing! Its generally a good thing in my opinion

We use gossip all the time, its only when its malicious or vindictive that it becomes bad, however many people "defending" or "explaining" things will say negative things about others with those others may find vindictive and malicious, so who's right? It depends on which side of the fence you happen to sitting.

Thought this came up with some good points about good and bad gossiping, the reasons why we may gossip and the how to deal with gossip and gossipers.

http://www.wikihow.com/Avoid-Gossiping

As you wish. I had hoped you'd be able to take a step back and see the hypocrisy in your posts.

And there would have been absolutely nothing wrong in replying with something along the lines of 'yes, I can see why that could be seen as hypocritical'.

Now you're tying yourself up in knots by trying to avoid this.

Note also when your question was more specific I answered appropriately/accordingly to the questions asked. This is not a personal attack.



Let me highlight part of your sentence:

In other words, you're openly admitting that your interest is in discussing what you hold to be gossip, and not in what constitutes gossip per se.

This may seem picky (imagine that! on an autistic forum) - but it's a matter of integrity. That old saying about taking the log out of your own eye....