Hi WelcomeToHolland,
this is a good resource for therapists and groups: www.autismsource.org
I don't have children, but I do have a spouse who is physically disabled and needs me to take things over when she is not feeling well. I get really anxious about public things like grocery shopping and telephoning people like my credit card companies, insurance, and other things in my name. We've found that breaking big, scary chores like shopping down to smaller tasks helps--we make lists of chores, discuss scary social interactions like therapy and phone calls ahead of time, even coming up with possible scripts. Some of it is just me being willing to buckle down and do the scary stuff--my loved one needs me to take over and I don't want her to feel pain. Sometimes it takes her asking very specifically what she needs--no recrimination, just something like, "honey, could you do this chore (clean the bathroom, cook dinner), because my back is not up for it." In your case, it would be "honey, please do this (parent-teacher conference, attend baseball practice, doctor's appointment) because I need to do this other thing." He might need to take coping helpers like ear plugs or sunglasses for public events. If he can get on the forums here, he can pick up some great tips.
Regarding his anxiety medication, I think there are a lot of meds that are not addictive, and he may need to try different ones before he finds one that helps and doesn't make him sick. Everybody has different body chemistry that reacts differently. Some are good for maintenance/mood stabilizing, others are good for sudden panic attacks.
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Diagnosed Bipolar II in 2012, Autism spectrum disorder (moderate) & ADHD in 2015.
