Do you tell people you have Aspergers?

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PokerQueen, it's great that you freely tell most of the people in your life and it works out fine.

I also agree that the best work there can be is if you go into business for yourself. I became self employed in 1993 and I've never looked back. It does take a lot of the stress out of work.

I have clients too, like you --- but in my own line of work, I find it best NOT to tell my clients.

Because....I'm a cleaner.

Which makes me wonder why you don't want to tell your own cleaner. For all you know she might be on the spectrum too, and afraid to let you know.

I once let a client know why I had a very slight meltdown (wasn't even a crazy bad one, just more of a panicky episode where I got overwhelmed. It was right at the end of my session as I was packing up anyway, but I had to leave in a hurry). This woman is a child psychologist who almost chose autism to specialize in, so she is aware of autism related things. Thus I figured this was a good person to share the information with, as she was knowledgeable and wouldn't possibly let it make her think mistaken things about me or want to politely end our working relationship.

After a few weeks, I found myself suddenly "let go" by this lady. She had liked me and my work for three or four years, and suddenly just after my little episode and the subsequent explanation, she suddenly decided my services were no longer required. No explanation, literally just those words.

There is every possibility this was merely a coincidence, she had other reasons, and the timing has nothing to do with my disclosure or episode. But then again.....

Needless to say, even though I'm self employed, have freedom in my work, clients come and go, etc, and theoretically I could tell anyone I please, I've decided once again to keep silent to clients, even if I think they'd "get it."

They don't want complications. They just want me to do the work and be trustworthy inside their homes. Some of them might imagine that isn't possible if they learn I'm on a spectrum they may have poor understanding of.

I had to disclose for the first time at my new job and hated the fact that I had to. My other employer found out through my family but I don't think she really understood it. That's another story but because of her I have to tell and I hate it. It felt like I had a terrible secret or mark that I couldn't hide. I mean I told people in passing if of the subject came up but it was more of "Yeah, my husband has it and so do I.....its interesting sometimes" or something like that. I'd rather bring it up on my own volition then to have to because someone can't understand me.

I've told some people in the past who probably didn't need to know and that used my diagnosis against me, so I'm very cautious in who I tell. My family definitely knows (I was only three when diagnosed), my best friend knows, and the staff at my school know, but nobody else does.

I actually kind of enjoy telling people that I have Asperger's. I seem to get special attention from doing that and I love it when people ask me about Asperger's. I can talk to them about it all day. Some people have never heard of it, understandably, so I just describe it as mild autism or high functioning autism. However, my stepmom doesn't even want to believe in Asperger's or even autism in general. She just thinks it's bulls#$t and that I have no consideration for anyone else. Of course I don't, I have Asperger's! So she doesn't understand it at all and I don't think my stepsister does, either. She once got mad at me for not showing appreciation toward my dad and her mom for letting me live with them rent free. I think I'm pretty open about having Asperger's. I don't really care who knows. I'd rather they do know, so they'll understand better why I am the way I am.

Yes, and without shame. It's not a big deal for me.

This.

"Shame" is not the issue.

Survival is the issue.

Just blabbing it to every dumb, uninformed, and or, the malicious person, around you may not be a good survival strategy.

A very small number of people know. They are the people who had known me a long time and were close and had all provided information for the assessment I had.

In one of my social circles, which revolves around gathering is a very simple bunkhouse once or twice a year, in reent times with children of the group members (we go back 25 years or more now) and one child has a diagnosis.

One person in this group contributed to my assessment as well. I have given them permission to make a controlled disclosure withouth identifying details. It is on the basis of "Someone close to me was recently diagnosed as an adult. They have let me know they are always happy to give any information about how a difficult situation might feel to them. they are happy to make their experience available to you if you need it" Disclosure here has been gently putting out information about someone able to offer some sort of information, experience from the the inside from where they sit on the spectrum.

The work situation is a difficult case, and is dependent on the laws applicable around disability discrimination where one lives and the company's size and general ethos and values.

My own employer ran an initiative under the title "Same wavelength - different frequencies" two years ago,raising awareness and increasing training of managers around neurodiversity in the work pace, and produced some briefing notes and short film including one or two staff members who are neurodiverse in various ways Autism was one and ADHD another.

How to disclose remains a professional interest given that one function I have where I work is as a trade union rep, and as such may be person to whom a disclosure could be made in preference to a channel such as line manager or HR, and as a rep it would then fall to me to support the member in choosing whether a formal disclosure was necessary or not, perhaps making some informal meetings with HR or the relevant manager to reach a clear understanding or the organisations policies and practice, so that should a member decide a disclosure is required, it happens in the greatest confidentiality and professional boundaries.

As far as I know I am the only one in our department with any piece of paper (OK, PDF) with the word "Autisic" applied to them by a competent person, however, as I look around I suspect many of us could fulfill at least some of the criteria as regards how we tick, even though just being in employment and earning a good income probably would rule us out from a full clinical diagnosis.

I disclose if I must - but often people misunderstand....it´s so bloody hard to explain.

Only if someone asks or if I feel it would be necessary. I told my boss the other day, but he seems to have forgotten.

If the subject on mental health gets brought up I usually say I have ADHD and/or anxiety disorder, but I never tell anybody about having Asperger's. I just feel ashamed of having Asperger's but for some reason not ashamed of having ADHD or anxiety. Lucky for me the Asperger's gets drowned out by the ADHD and anxiety, and I don't have obvious or stereotypical traits of Asperger's so I can sort of turn a blind eye to it.

I think people tend to think of an Aspie as a geeky loner, and also I don't feel autistic at all. But I do Asperger's because I did things in childhood that were so Aspie, and one doesn't grow out of Asperger's, so unfortunately I have it.