Dating someone with Aspergers

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Absolutely, Birdie!

The "gentle touch" appeals to me in more ways than one!

If he has a "public persona" to keep, though, I might hold off on stroking his hand; he might get embarrassed by it.

I don't mind it myself--but certain people, if they want to maintain a certain amount of "dignity" (which I find absurd and phony, by the way) would feel that he is being treated like a child should you take his hand in that manner.

I don't know the guy so I can't answer the original question but I have something to say about your relationship anyway:

You only started dating and you already have such concerns? Doesn't it make you feel something is off?

If you have no idea how to tell him to stop talking about a subject without hurting his feelings for me it is already a clear sign of your not compatible. If you were you would just tell him any way that sounds natural to you and he would listen and not get offended.
Just tell him and check how it goes.

If you really are incompatible you will unavoidably be hurt and hurt him more and more the further the relationship goes and one of you will decide to break sooner or later. It will probably be him because you will be deep in thoughts like "How do I tell him I am not happy with him and want to break with him without hurting him?".

Been there, done that.

Except I was on the other side. I seen it coming right away but the NT guy was constantly putting my hopes up that he is going to find a way to make our relationship work so I gave the relationship a chance. And we broke after a few months. A few months too late.

I was crying almost everyday for 3 last months of the relationship because I seen he is being constantly hurt by my behavior and words and then forgiving me and trying to fix me or him.
Eventually I was the one who said: it is over, the relationship is going nowhere, we are not compatible, we can't fix it without totally changing who we are. And I had to be stubborn about that for another 6 months because he tried to get me back by promising he will change for me.

Not a pleasant experience at all.

Oh no no, not stroking the hand, I'm thinking just a brief "placement" of her fingertips just resting lightly on his wrist just to make a caring physical contact while saying maybe we should talk about other things. Just one of those brief, almost sisterly touches that people sometimes do to decrease the harshness of saying something a bit negative, a "reaching out" that is literal as well as figurative.

With a light, twinkly smile it can come across as warm and not like a criticism, that way.

On the other hand -- many on the spectrum don't like to be touched....so maybe don't do the touching the wrist after all!

I like the subtle stroking as you described it.

As for the repeating stories things, my suspicion is that he's not entirely relaxed and is still "testing the water". I suspect it's common in people who have had to learn social interaction intellectually rather than intuitively. I too have a few "go to" stories that I can tell in mixed or relatively unfamiliar company, to blend in and seem normal for a bit while getting a sense of people. They're pre-loaded with clever wording, witty punchlines and hopefully interesting food for thought. But you can only have so many of these, and I know that I too, sometimes, end up repeating myself, which I hate catching myself doing, but you can't very well stop a story halfway through with any amound of grace.

If I'm right, this will go away once he's comfortable enough to lower his walls more around you, and you may well find he has traits you never knew about. I know I have personality traits that only my close friends and family see.

Many thanks for all your responses. It's much appreciated. I clearly have a lot of thinking to do!