am I the only one that wants a cure??

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I'm NT and I find it hard to maintain friendships too. Everyone knew me in high school and I was considered popular, but I never hung out with people once school was out. I don't really talk to people on the phone or go out with friends. It's not that I prefer to be alone, it's just that I find it hard to be close to people. maybe I'm too picky?? Not sure, but if I'm NT and find it hard to maintain friendships, then I can totally feel your frustrations. Keep in mind that it's quality not quantity that matters. So if you have someone in mind that you would like to get a little closer to, try texting. I find texting or emailing back and forth makes it easier to break the ice with someone before getting closer to someone. Hope that helps!!

OP - rest assured, you're not the only one who wants a cure. This is a debate that's raged on this forum for years - some aspies are deeply opposed to the whole notion of being cured because they view AS as a mere neurological difference rather than a disability. Suffice to say, I don't.

The lack of networking skills I have due to being on the spectrum has pretty much put the kibosh on every worthwhile thing I've ever tried to do - so you're not alone in feeling that way.

Red flag to a bull...
How can I resist replying...

We have problems, agreed...
But we are definitely on the wrong planet...

Many NT social protocols are in conflict to our inherent nature.
For example, when I was young I was more focused on the truth of the matter than emotionally supporting someone.
Needless to say, I wasn't very popular since "friends" expect to be supported regardless of whether they are in the right or wrong...
I never have and never will adopt tribalism at the expense of the truth...
Thankfully I enjoy my own company...

I am a rock...
I am an island...
Well sometimes...

I think it is important to be in touch with reality...
A lot about autism isn't great...
A lot about living in a neurotypical dominated world isn't great either...
There is "fault", for want of a better word, on both sides...
It isn't black and white...

I am assuming you are much younger than I am...
I admit it is much much harder as a young person on the spectrum...
Let me just say it has been my experience that it gets easier over time...

Let's look at the situation objectively...
Those that are autistic are autistic...
Can't argue with that though some may try...
As kraftiekortie suggested, the sooner we accept our situation and learn to adapt the better...

Not everything about being on the spectrum is bad, and after having worked so hard to get were I am now, I would never accept a "cure" if one was presented to me...
I like who I am...
I like where I am going...
And I understand the world I inhabit with considerably more clarity that many who weren't challenged, imo...
Not a statement of arrogance...
A statement of hard won confidence...

I have no desire whatsoever to be "cured." I am what I am and if I were ever "cured" I'd no longer be the same person, because my autism is integral to who I am. However that is my personal choice, a choice which everyone else is entitled to make for themselves.

No, you're not.

I've managed to create a treatment protocol that controls my symptoms VERY well.

4 years ago I was in the worst shape of my life all around & could have written what you wrote. Today my symptoms are subclinical to the point that a coworker who is about to begin studying for her Masters in Neuro Psychology hasn't been able to figure out my diagnosis.

If you'd like more info about what I've done via diet, natural medicine, and probiotics - feel free to PM me.

- Richard

That's the thing. Most people have trouble with relations.

The comparison with autism is that you can't do it at all except in the most specific of circumstances.

That's something people seem to forget/overlook.

Oh man I hated that. So frustrating.. like spinning your wheels and never gaining any traction. But, life is different now.. my symptoms are now subclinical & I'm able to connect with people better than ever. I have a lot more friends/acquaintances, work comfortably in a very social environment, have less than no problem networking or doing sales when I need to.. and I have some friends in high places. I like to keep a balance, though, so I still have high friends in places, too. But yeah, treating my symptoms as I have = living a second life all around, including with social networking/business etc.

Believing in my personality will not fix the sensory issues. Ear plugs can only do so much for me.

I understand how you're feeling. I too want a cure. I'm angry at those high functioning autistics who take pride in their disorder and parents who "love autism". I'm seeing this over and over again on the news, and the louder it gets the more scientists will think "oh, they seem fine, looks like they don't need help". Pictures of parents hugging their autistic child, news of autistics succeeding in areas like programming. There's just gonna be less and less research put into autism if they keep on bragging! People will be misinformed...It is a disorder, they should genuinely feel that they need help.

I'm starting to get annoyed at how autism is something to embrace. Don't they want social interaction? I'm struggling and feeling sad because I don't even know how to make friends and maintain friends. I've tried practically everything in the book but it doesn't work because of one thing is that it's just not intuitive...Having interests in topics is extremely hard...

For all those posting here that are pro cure/treatment:

What have you tried to treat your symptoms? What are you going to try next?

I didn't know I had Asperger's until about 4 years ago. Now, looking back, I suppose I would have wanted a cure all those years I was rejected and cast aside by society. I'm glad I survived, though, because now I gladly embrace my differences. I still can't socialize in groups but that's okay. Most people don't have anything interesting to say anyway and all they'll really do is stomp on your intellect till you lose your smartness.

Do you accept that some genuinely feel differently?
Do you appreciate the principle of democratic freedom of choice/belief?
Do you respect that principle and the "rights" of others?

You have an absolute problem with autism which I fully accept/acknowledge...
I have a different perspective due to my being a unique individual with a unique/individual situation...

Are you saying there is only one way (your way) to see the situation?
Are you saying you would forbid me to have my personal belief system?
I am sure you aren't literally saying that...
Well I certainly hope not...

Hyperbole:
"Hyperbole (/haɪˈpɜrbəliː/ hy-PUR-bə-lee;[1] Greek: ὑπερβολή, hyperbolē, lit. "exaggeration") is the use of exaggeration as a rhetorical device or figure of speech. In rhetoric, it is also sometimes known as auxesis (lit. "growth"). In poetry and oratory, it emphasizes, evokes strong feelings, and creates strong impressions. As a figure of speech, it is usually not meant to be taken literally.[2][3]"
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyperbole

I can't remember ever being an advocate of the principle:
"Eat crap...a billion flies can't be wrong..."
Just because the dominant life forms are NT doesn't mean that their's is the definitive/only social orientation that "needs"-to-be/could-be/"should"-be considered...
And as many have mentioned in the past, NT social evolution has many objectionable aspects to it...

If I were born an NT I would have an NT mindset with an NT's accompanying innate/inherent/intrinsic social tool kit...
It would be a natural psychological environment...
With so many socially imbedded supportive elements to reinforce the evolved memes...
And I would look around and wonder at the nonsense those funny little people on the autistic spectrum were on about...
Would that position be in touch with reality?
Or is it simply a manifestation of a rather profound ignorance?

Simply because someone can't imagine a different perspective doesn't invalidate the concepts involved...surely...

Edit: So there is no misunderstanding to anyone, I am simply sharing/agreeing rather than arguing...
Not every response has to be confrontational...

Last edited by Pepe on 06 Sep 2015, 7:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Valid point...
I don't have your particular problem...
I have many others...

I had something to say and I said it...
Admittedly, yours wasn't the best post to reply to...

Despite popular belief I am not perfect...
Close, but not infallible...