Being told your selfish

Post Reply New Topic

Well selfish makes you care about your own needs and be more concerned about yourself than for others. With autism, it can make you appear that way so hence the accusation.

I haven't noticed being called selfish. I'll watch out in case that happens.

I've been told I'm selfish every time I tried to take care of my needs, to get a life or to stop wasting my time in a futile attempt to please others who always want more.

Yeah, sometimes my mother tells me I am selfish. Pretty much every time I tell her I don't want to spend my life looking after my brother like she did but that I want to have a life and a family of my own.

Yeaa plenty of times. I tend to ignore it.

Yep , I've been called it. I know what I need to do to stop myself from getting ill and this comes across as selfish. It's not fair and hurtful but C'est la vie.

I'm occasionally told that I'm selfish but more often told that I'm cold and heartless.

I label myself as "selfish" as most of my thoughts - the few that there are - usually pertain to me. Ordinarily, however, I find that my mind is 'blank' because there appears to be a profound lack of activity in my brain. Psychiatrists attribute this absent-mindedness to anxiety, but I believe there's something fundamentally wrong with my brain.

I grew up being told I was selfish. The funny thing was that I would go out of my way to help and comfort other people. I honestly can't recall what situations warranted being called selfish.

I have been called selfish before. Sometimes it is because I do not simply know what someone might want or need from me... and instead of telling me they want/need something, they get mad and call me selfish. Other times it is because I get caught up in my own thing (whatever it may be) and forget to give others the attention they want. Then other times it is because I set boundaries for myself with others and then they call me selfish for that.

I spent most of my life trying to please people who just continually walked all over me. I've been told I am selfish when I needed to deal with things that were super painful or regarding my health or needs. It took me a long time to figure out that people only wanted to know me if there was something like money or sex involved. I would say those people are the ones who are selfish.

It's usually because you have needs and preferences that are just considered a pain in the ass to others. Picky eater due to sensory issues = selfish. You know, it's so easy for someone without sensory issues to not be a pain in the ass picky eater. Therefore you must be going out of your way to be a pain in the ass to all normies. You could also say someone in a wheelchair is selfish because it's a pain in the ass helping them get up stairs. If you're different and need any kind of accommodation you're automatically a burden on society and therefore selfish. Don't ask for anything. If you can't deal with life, kill yourself. There, you heard it. This is why autistic people are considered selfish. If they were less selfish they would try harder to just be normal like everyone else.

They call me selfish.
I say I am taking care of my self.

I think this must be a big part of this. They've never experienced it, therefore they think we're inventing the problem or over-reacting. They can't think why we avoid things that might bring a meltdown, they just call it selfish. Of course, in avoiding meltdown we are really trying to spare them from our meltdowns as much as ourselves -right? - but as they've never felt what it's like to have a meltdown, they think meltdowns are a choice we make--attention-seeking behavior or whathaveyou.



you could--but no one ever would, it would be obviously assholish to say such things about a person in a wheelchair. But I've had this same thought. People wouldn't tell a person in a wheelchair to just get over their issues and climb the stairs like a normal person. But they tell us to get over our issues all the time.



Yeah, because trying harder is all it takes. Just like if a blind person just tried harder, they could learn to see, or a deaf person to hear...it's beyond ridiculous but people just refuse to see that it really is a disability, there really are things we can't do, we would do them if we could, we are not choosing not to do things just to be difficult.

I still don't understand how wanting to watch 1hr of a program I like after 5 hours of him watching stuff he likes and I don't is so damn selfish.

I used to be called selfish all the time but now that I'm in a better environment I'm the one calling myself selfish. My line of thinking is "I am in the minority, so as long as everyone else is happy I should just shut up." Not good when that leads to meltdowns or being unable to do my work properly. And a huge problem when I'm trying to advocate for myself, because I can be very much a doormat. The irony is, I absolutely hate utilitarian ethics (more happiness than unhappiness = good and ethical action) because of how it ignores minority rights, but I'm perfectly okay with using it to justify my own suffering. Wow, I really need therapy.

I am selfish, in that I try to live for my own rational long-term interests. I don't want to sacrifice my life or my judgment to anybody else, and I don't want anybody else sacrificing himself for me. The world would be a lot better off if all human relationships were purely voluntary and mutually beneficial, rather than based on force and the sacrifice of one party or the other.

Now, from my point of view it's obviously in my own rational long-term interest to be kind, decent, honest, generous, understanding, and devoted to my family. So I try to be all those things too.