What has been your biggest revelation about NTs?

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Alternately, nobody has or ever will have anyone figured out, which really makes me wonder how we ever bought into the internet...

If so, my greatest revelation about NT folks probably has something to do with their double standards about professionalism and formalities. They plaster it all over Newsweek that Aspies are the perfect autodidacts, sent by god to fix our crumbling tech and science infrastructure and when we GET to those grandiose assignments, we're serfs. The demands outpace the graces.

He said "yes" to your question about not meaning what he says.
But if he does not mean what he says then he could have meant "no", he does indeed mean what he says.
But he said "yes".......
I am very naïve and have had pranks played on me in a place I used to work and I didn't realize what they were doing until long after I quit working there and had time to think about it. I think they were trying to be mean, but they didn't break me, because I was oblivious to it.
People sometimes say what they don't mean because that's their way of getting along with people.

Yes it feels like a betrayal to me too. And the unpredictability of it is scary.

I wish I could understand the thought process behind it and explain, but I struggle with this too. I think this is probably the most disabling thing I experience in life. I can't comprehend insincerity. Sometimes I can recognize it when people don't mean what they say, but I still don't know how to interact with it.

I guess the closest I have come to really understanding it, has been at times when I felt physically threatened by someone and I felt like I had to say something I didn't mean, just to ensure my own safety. All I can imagine is that NTs must feel a low-level sense of threat in social situations, that it would be too risky to say what they really mean.

I have only been interfacing socially with a limited number of NTs in my adult life (6 people). These friends say what they mean, and have totally adapted to not using metaphor and sarcasm or "teasing" in my presence, which is awesome. I got so comfortable, that when I accidentally made another friend, I did not suspect the trouble I was in for! This fellow says things that are vague ALL THE TIME and then is annoyed when I do not understand. He also speaks around topics, never actually saying anything or getting anywhere. Argh. I had been feeling normalish prior to meeting him. We may not be able to continue the friendship, because it frustrates me to such a degree. I have to say, it is also putting me off (even more) the idea of new people. How on earth do they understand one another, is what I want to know?

Indeed. One can only hope that NTs will stop generalizing about autistics.

Let us know if you do. Would be very helpful to people in this forum. Actually, you could post your findings until this point. Even that would be helpful.

I know a lot of really good people like this. I think just maybe, the reason I'm around is my inherent need to track them down when it seems they're feeling excluded or shy, rather than merely moving along to others like them where I see passing familiarity. I've seen a lot of people reject their friends and project those old friends' personas on completely different individuals. I'd rather be a ruggedized, weapons-grade mother goose than that guy rotating through social strata like the grass is greener somewhere. I'm way too loyal for my own good but through with stomaching the alternatives. As much as people can be startled by the intensity of how crazy my life has been, my survival skills are something to be shared. I'm dealing with it but it's Wednesday morning, apparently bedtime

Last edited by cberg on 09 Sep 2015, 8:31 am, edited 2 times in total.

Who we are is in a state of constant change, so figuring people out is impossible in the long run.

I respectfully disagree, I know I possessed none of the same cells in my body fourteen years ago. Knowledge of self can inform your knowledge of others - we all have ancestors. Knowing where everyone stands in the human diaspora is all about courage and adaptability in one's convictions.

That works both ways

My point exactly.

(Since you didn't get it the first time).

Biggest revelation about NTs.. hmm, probably the fact that we're all mindless plebs lacking in any logical ability imaginable, and with a streak of superficiality.

Also we have no empathy, and we're a hivemind.

Forget the rest.

I've found quite the opposite to be true. Granted there are a fair share of NT's that are really cruel in socially dominant ways that leave an aspie defenseless, I've only been helped out the most by NT's. I've never met an aspie that was willing to listen to me and try to offer help in my times of crisis, I think because it's just overwhelming for them to deal with my out of control emotions (referring to family with AS).

My mom is NT and she is so caring and genuinely concerned about my well being, she hates seeing me depressed or in a life crisis. One time I got arrested and sentenced to jail for 6 months for a fight I got into. She came and visited me every available time, and I had to watch her cry through the glass window every time, man was that hard for me.

She fought for me while I was in there too. I was being treated poorly and my needs were neglected, as were every other inmates, but being aspie my needs were quite different. Jail was truly sensory hell for me. Herds of people screaming, shouting, extremely bright flouresent lighting, the temperature was either ice cold or boiling hot...it was just all too much, I've never been so suicidal in my life and my mom helped me so much through all of that. She put money on my account every week to make sure I was able to buy the hygeine and food I needed to be somewhat comfortable.

None of my family members with AS came to see me the entire time. I know they still love me but they have a hard time showing it, and I understand that and don't resent them one bit for it. I just don't know what I would have done if it wasn't for the some of the loved ones I have that are NT's. Most of the friends I've had over the years weren't the best though. But I have had some really close NT friends that truly love me and go out of their way to make sure I am doing ok.

That's why I always get a bad taste in my mouth when I hear people bashing NT's like they are all the same. We've got a lot of NT's fighting for us and we need them more than they need us. I find the segregating behavior between NT's/Aspie's on here quite disgusting. It's the kind of behavior Hitler promoted. We need to stop drawing lines between one another and accept and embrace the fact that we are ALL human!

One could only figure out individuals (and even then--only partially).

One will never be able to completely figure out NT's. One will never be able to completely figure out autistic people.

I concentrate on trying to understand individuals.

And that's all that needs to be said. This isn't a Aspie problem or an NT problem, just like slavery wasn't a black mans problem or a white mans problem....it was and always will be people problem, when people mistreat other people.

There were plenty of good hearted empathetic white men that fought for slave's freedom, and being slaves in alien land, they had little chance to do it on their own....I hope you can see the relevance to my analogy here.

My biggest revelation was that they are all `winging it` too!