i am rarely serious because there is no real point in it. many (most) of the posts i make on this forum are intentionally stupid (amusing to me), or simple observations of which i have no real investment in.
i can not be bothered debating over anything i ever say, so i rarely reply to people who challenge me.
it is also the case that when i have finished saying something, i consider the conversation concluded because whatever someone else contributes to it, i consider to be superfluous.
i guess i have lost the urge to be serious because my mind is so good at entertaining me with absurdities, and i find that to be engaging and easy to do. i used to spam this forum when i was newer with post after post of inane observations, but i was warned that if i continued to use the forum as a scratch pad for my silly ideas, that i would be banned. whatever.
maybe i have lost the ability to really care about what people think, and i am happy with the shallow reality of simply saying things that cause them to react in ways that i can predict. maybe i need help because i do not know what i am missing out on. maybe it would feel nice to be involved in an extended way with other people and their "thought lives", but it does seem to be too much work for me, even though i do have the capacity for seriousness.
an example of my tendency to squander potential social inclusions is as follows:
i was going to a tavern for dinner every night of the week, and a person from work i knew came in and sat next to me. before long, a group of university students came in, and they knew the person sitting with me, so they sat at my table as well.
they proceeded to get into a conversation about global warming and sea level rises, and when i was asked what i thought, i replied that the rising sea level was obviously due to a die off of sponges in the ocean coupled with over-harvesting by asians, and i proposed that a simple solution would be to mandate every country to commission very large sponge factories powered by cheap coal (to make it affordable for poor countries), and to have the sponges distributed into the oceans to absorb the water and bring the levels back down.
i said this with a serious face and there was no sign that i was not being serious. they nodded and one of them said "perhaps", and they excluded me from the rest of their conversation, and i then told them that now i have solved their problem that it was nice meeting them and i will see them around sometime. they then interpreted my comment as meaning that i was expecting them to leave, so they obliged and found a different table.
i found that conversation far more memorable and satisfying than i would have if i had truly thought about and contributed to their conversation. by now i would have forgotten what i said to them and what they said to me, and it would all be just a puff of wind that blew away on a day gone by.
maybe i am missing out on the good things connected with serious social integration, but i think i am having a better time than they who agonise over everything as if it matters. obviously i take poverty or pain seriously if i am presented with it and i would not joke in those circumstances, but simple general conversation is just a plaything for me when i am interested to play with it.
to some who may think i have a schizoid personality, it was considered when i was a child, but discounted due to the fact that i can feel extremely happy and content and i do enjoy greatly the things i like.
one thing i have never been able to do is join in the jokes of others. i have never really found them funny. i have to think of it before i find it funny. there are exceptions, but they are rare.
08 Sep 2015, 12:33 pm
