A question about Asperger

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If there was something I wish my mom knew when I was growing up, it is that I wish she knew to look for the things I didn't understand socially, even when it seemed too obvious to expect a problem.

If your child does something unusual, you should ask them questions and do research to figure out as much as you can about why. People with Asperger's don't usually have the kinds of social instincts as other people, and this could mean that you are so used to thinking a certain way that you'd never think to look for the kinds of things your child might be missing. For instance, my mom often told me to "work on your eye contact" without understanding that I didn't have the instincts to do eye contact normally. My attempts were just a weird stare, since eye contact basically meant that I had to look intently at the center of one eye. I had no idea which eye, and was too embarrassed to ask. There are ways to fake eye contact as there are ways to deal with many of the other problems your child might have, but you need to get to the basic misunderstanding or problem before you can start to use the solution.

I'm not saying it's going to be easy, but life for me and a lot of other people with Asperger's is completely worth living, and most of us wouldn't want to be someone else, even if it meant an easier life.

As far as what you were told about emotions, that is completely false. Your child might be far less interested in a lot of social interaction, and this might make it easier to deal with how hard social interaction can be, but this does not mean they will experience less emotion or have any decrease in emotional connection to people they are close to.

Though it's taken me a few years with a hit and miss most of the time I've learned some facial expressions(microexpressions are still a mystery to me though) and body movements used to indicate non-verbal signals. As far as the assosiation between those and a person's true intentions? Almost none. It's mainly a judge of character that'll tell your daughter what a person's true intentions of a conversation is.

Dargo, I also remember being told/taught to look people in the eye and also to listen and ask people questions. I'm very grateful that my parents - my Dad really - helped me learn these skills. I remember seeking help from him because I was having difficulty making friends.

I was also forced to go to school everyday. I hated it but my Dad never let me get out if it. My husband who I've lived with since I was 18 took over from my Dad in this respect and so he now gets me out the door each day to work.

I think there is a lot you can do to give your daughter the skills and mechanisms needed to get by in the NT world.

I think one of my kids may also have Aspergers and my husband and I are doing the same for her. It's working so far - she had issues with friendships last year but this year it's going better so far.

I just can tell you how it is out of my point of view. Most of the time I decide with my brain, yes - but that doesn't mean I can't feel love. I just do that because I think it's better to act guided by brain rather than my feelings. But I can love people.



Please, this person has no clue. Don't listen to him, although he's a friend of yours. He's completely wrong.

feeling love is different than falling in love.
as I underestand her word meant that aspergers don't fall in love, like we (normal people) do blindly and then regret. when you fall in love you don't think, you don't see the flaws, you don't hear what others say about the person and you just put yourself out there, and most often the one you love, hurt you badly. and then you wake up and realize what a big mistake you've done.

If anything, people with asperger's are different, just like other people If that makes sense. Hang around, read WP, read aspie blogs, and you'll find a lot of very different people.

You have to get to know your child - she has her own destiny.

One thing I found helpful in life when it came to discerning people's motivations, is that people in general don't spend a lot of energy on things that are not important to them - and that they generally don't do things they are uncomfortable with unless the potential reward is big. It's possible to extrapolate a lot from people's actions.

Also, you may not be able to teach her to lie successfully, but diversion is a useful trick when her peers interrogate her.

Well, people with Asperger's can fall in love too. But as far as I have seen they most likely are not going to tell anyone. At least the people I know are like that.