When did you first learn the concept of lying?

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OliveOilMom
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22 Oct 2015, 11:42 pm

Verdandi wrote:
I find it interesting when people who do get lying and do lie can't conceive of anyone not ever lying.

Statements that one cannot lie are not exactly uncommon among autistic people.



It's also not exactly uncommon among autistic people to not really be able to conceive of anyone else not doing/thinking like/feeling like/being like they themselves are about something.


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Verdandi
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22 Oct 2015, 11:44 pm

OliveOilMom wrote:
Verdandi wrote:
I find it interesting when people who do get lying and do lie can't conceive of anyone not ever lying.

Statements that one cannot lie are not exactly uncommon among autistic people.



It's also not exactly uncommon among autistic people to not really be able to conceive of anyone else not doing/thinking like/feeling like/being like they themselves are about something.


True! I didn't mean to say it was bad. Everyone has their biases, etc. I am sorry if that came off as a jab or attack.



Grammar Geek
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22 Oct 2015, 11:56 pm

Hmmm, I feel like I learned what a lie was from my parents before I ever experienced one, although I'm sure that when I witnessed my first lie, I didn't realize it. Like most Aspies, I've always possessed a startling amount of naïveté, and have thus been taken advantage of by students and teachers alike.

When it comes to me lying, I'm okay at it. I have a lot of experience onstage, so that definitely helps, but I always feel guilty when I tell a lie, which can involuntarily appear in my expression at times, so I guess those two factors sort of cancel each other out.



OliveOilMom
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22 Oct 2015, 11:57 pm

Verdandi wrote:
OliveOilMom wrote:
Verdandi wrote:
I find it interesting when people who do get lying and do lie can't conceive of anyone not ever lying.

Statements that one cannot lie are not exactly uncommon among autistic people.



It's also not exactly uncommon among autistic people to not really be able to conceive of anyone else not doing/thinking like/feeling like/being like they themselves are about something.


True! I didn't mean to say it was bad. Everyone has their biases, etc. I am sorry if that came off as a jab or attack.


It didn't, I was just pointing that out. I just used your phrasing because I was replying to you about that, and it fit in ironically lol


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ZenDen
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23 Oct 2015, 1:23 pm

OliveOilMom wrote:
I don't remember when I learned about it, but I do know I wasn't very good at it until I was 17 and this guy who was in the group of people who became my first friends back when I was 13 taught me how. He actually gave me lessons in it with assignments of different lies to tell and how to tell them. He said it was important to learn how to lie well, and not just for things I was going to use it for right then, like coming home later than my mother told me to or not doing homework or getting out of going somewhere that I didn't want to go. It wasn't that hard and I got very good at it and still am good at it although I only lie when I need to now.

I don't think it's bad, like the poster above said. It can be bad, depending on what you are lying about and to whom, but sometimes it's good to lie about certain things, especially if it prevents hurt feelings. I'm not talking about telling somebody you love them when you don't, or telling a friend that something looks good when they look ridiculous or something like that, but there are times when a lie is much better for everyone involved than the truth. I'm sure the hardliners against lying will disagree with me, but I stand by what I said here. I also don't distrust someone forever if I find out they lied to me about something like some folks here say they do. I'm also pretty sure that everybody has lied at least once, even if it wasn't a big lie or it's something they don't remember doing or it wasn't premeditated.

Someone on here once also said about lying that "lying kills my soul". I don't get that. Also, a question for the zero tolerance about lying people; why does it bother you so very much if somebody tells you a white lie and you never trust them again? I could see being that way if they told you something big but I really don't get it for something small and well meaning like that.


How can we believe anything you say??? That's the rub. Lying gets under your skin. You then lie without thinking about it. You learn how to lie to yourself. Some begin to become unable to control their lies (present company excepted, of course).

Lying does not build trust and respect. People really good at lying are then capable of becoming politicians, and we all know how they lie to improve our lives, right (do you trust and respect politicians)? Lying instead creates distrust....it happens every day at every level of society.

We can be better.



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23 Oct 2015, 2:26 pm

C2V wrote:
I've been wondering about this very thing recently. Because I'm an adult, and I'm apparently pathologically incapable of lying. It's very awkward. I seriously just can't do it. Asked a direct question, I have two options - answer honestly or refuse to answer at all, which sometimes is an answer in itself and I can't do anything about it. And this is not for any particularly moral reason, it's just this glitch in my brain and I cannot say something I know to be untrue. The best I can do is not say anything, which others may call lying by omission. Which makes me VERY secretive, as I need to keep everything concealed so no one will ask about things I don't want to be public, because I know if directly asked I will be unable to lie. Maybe this is just me, not an autistic thing.


You are not alone. I don't lie either. I also had to learn not to take what people say at face value. Today I understand lying on a cognitive level. I understand that other people do it. But I am not able to lie convincingly and rarely try.