Human Pet

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Is it possible to leave the 'ESA support Group'? or is that specifically what you depend on for income? I have never heard of it and thought all there really was for people deemed unable to work was SSI income and programs designed to transition you back to working when you are able and that is what I get.

Hello Startrekker. I live in the UK, so ESA is a UK benefit. I'm not sure if there's a way to escape from the benefit...and I'd be concerned that my social worker might see this as a reason for placing even more restrictions on me, claiming that I'm not able to make decisions in my own best interest.

Ah that is why I never heard of the ESA thing....I'm in the U.S. Either way sounds kind of terrible like they seem to sabotage your attempts to be more independent and functional. Wouldn't it cost them more to place more restrictions on you for demonstrating you don't need their program? Uhh I really don't know what can be done about it.

Aside from essentially not being allowed to work...are you allowed to leave your home at will and do you have any money you're allowed to spend yourself? It might be possible to find some kind of hobby or something to keep you busy instead of work, it could even be related to some working skill. Perhaps dropping the work thing for a while and finding other ways to occupy yourself if your situation will allow it......Or perhaps attempting one of these 'approved' jobs with proper supports perhaps if it was seen you can function fine they'll lay off a little. Just seems odd they seemed so focused on ensuring you remain on government benefits whilst politically in the U.K there is so much dislike directed at those who aren't employed.

I'm allowed to leave the house and spend what money's not taken from me to pay for my care package as I like; my support workers have to submit detailed reports about me though. I go walking in the countryside and regularly visit the theatre. It's all so pointless though, I'm so lonely and unfulfilled. I need to be able to go out into the world and be tested, to find out what I'm capable of doing.

Those people are victims of the mentality that the only way to prove your worth in society is to make money (usually for someone else). It is a toxic mentality born of our obsessive worship of modern consumer capitalism. I know it is difficult, but you should not let people dissuade you from doing truly good work in this world simply because it doesn't line the pockets of some business. Anyone who gives you abuse for volunteering your time and effort to improve the lives of others really needs to reflect on their own moral compass and capacity for compassion.

Besides, volunteer work does have monetary value. Just because you aren't being paid for it doesn't mean you aren't having a positive effect on the economy -- not that that should even matter. You are indirectly paying for the benefits you receive by doing work that otherwise either would not have been done or done for a much higher cost. And regardless of the monetary value you provide, you improve your local community in other tangible and intangible ways while fulfilling your civic duty. That is worth far more than what you would achieve pulling a paycheck doing something meaningless for a private business, and if anyone says otherwise they probably haven't thought it through.

You're a natural fit for the underground economy. Do some little tasks for people such as walking dogs or weeding gardens; or write the great English novel. (No, wait, that's already been done.) You actually have a pretty GOOD situation in that your basic needs, like food, shelter etc are met. So on the down-low, make some money that can enrich your life, allow travel, or something.

I have to think there may be SOME reason the care workers don't want you to work very many hours. Like what does your past history say when you are overloaded? Are they trying to keep you out of a hospital or prison?

Anyway my recommendation is to make the best of your situation, many folks would be pleased to have it.

EDIT: I just had a look at your blog, very nice! Could you have a future in travel writing?

I think some people are misunderstanding my problem. It's not about money, it's about social acceptance, status, and my place in the world. I'm not interested in working in the informal economy or being self-employed...or working at home. I need to be in a situation where I'm working with a group of people who will respect me for what I'm able to achieve, people who might invite me to social events and introduce me to new people. Basically, when someone asks me what I do, I need to be able to tell them.

I relate to feeling like a pet. I can't really explain to make people understand, but i get it. I hope you are able to do something to gain the feeling of acceptance and equality. Sometimes taking a leap of hope (if possible) changes things.

Be a landscape photographer - and hang out with the arty people. I'm serious.

Oh, and also, could you perhaps teach classes at your local community center or noncredit college? Or something like that.

People do not like me. They're scared of me, they think I'm some sort of freak show. I have no social skills whatsoever, I've had no opportunity to practise and improve them - Before my diagnosis I would spend days on end not speaking to another human being, not because I didn't want to, but because there were so few opportunities. That's why I need to be employed; the people I work with will have to accept me and reach out towards me, and possibly in time realise that I'm not some sort of monster.

This seems at odds with your assertion that you need an opportunity to develop your social skills. Ten years, full time, sounds like plenty of opportunity. Since you said this is not about money, what's to stop you from doing volunteer work again? Is it just your family giving you grief about not pulling your weight? Tell them where to get off. Is it about attracting a woman? Hmm, that's a different topic.

I suspect I would like you, and I doubt you're a monster - unless there is something you aren't telling us.

It's not easy for me to do voluntary work because I can't provide references, even personal references.

I did voluntary in an area, and at a time, where the unemployment rate was very high and so not having a job didn't cause the problems that it does now for me.

To not even be able to do voluntary work shows the depths of my social isolation and all I get offered by Social Services is money to go to the theatre and support workers to take me out for daytrips, it helps a little...but it's not what I need..