how innapropriate is this...

Post Reply New Topic

if you cant do that then you should dump her. or atleast i would

Hmmm. Paint? If she's planning to move in with you, why don't you choose a new paint color together? You may need to prime the walls to cover the oily spot first.

Great idea, I think you may be on to something SeriousGirl....thanks for the info...

Yeah,visualization can be a little difficult to delete.If I saw a hand print,I would be able to SEE the person on top...to much information.Yes,she understands you have been with others and so has she,but having been cheated on leaves some deep scars and the warning signals can be deafening.I cant tell you the number of guys I tormented with my own insecurities,it was not by choice and I deeply regretted it.I needed constant confirmation that the person actually liked me and never really felt fully trusting that their feelings wouldnt change"any second".

Her reaction,could in part be more exagerated because of the level of closeness you are both reaaching,talk of moving in together....the more you invest,the more you feel you have to lose,and there for the more you question the other persons commitment to you.

This isnt really about "you",it's about her ability to take a chance on being hurt again.Hopefully realizing this will help you tolerate the often annoying bouts of insecurity...it's not about "you".Only time will heal her ability to trust...and lots of positive affermations to her about your feelings,would be helpful(as well as a new paint job.)

It's a good thing we arent Frudian psychologist,they would say you left the print there on purpose....to remind yourself of "hot" sex and push the new person away out of fear of closeness.

Yep definitely paint the walls. It looks quite good if you paint a single wall a different colour especially where the bedstead is. I've done a similar thing in my room. I agree she is probably being insecure but then again who isn't?

OIL?

dude, that sounds like a hilarious story. Why not share it with her and maybe she'll laugh with you instead of be mad, then you can encourage her to try some... oil

Thank you for saying so well what I obviously was not capable of communicating.

survey says.. winner!

I also agree with painting the room, but you may need to use a coat of primer first, especially on the oil spot.

could we have a mod move this to the adult forum?

OMG - this needs to be moved - I had no idea this was not in the adult section

Say to her, "leave your handprint so that when i get a new girlfriend i will have two to show."
You can say it in a joking manner, but you need to show her that you are the boss.
She is testing you, if you show weakness by being a wuss, then she will leave.
Or you can pre-empt by just telling her you have had enough of her drama and whining; this way ( as in the Seinfeld episode) you have the hand in this relationship.

Wow,that seems like the great advice of someone who spends a lot of Saturday nights, alone in their parents basement, getting to "know themselves" better,while googleing for 8 year old anime girls in short skirted school uniforms.....(and following that advice will put you in a similarly glamorous future.)

How someone who likes Joydivision can actually give such advice.....priceless.

Anyone else catch that pun?

Although, I have to agree. Women DO test men for that wussy factor. Show weakness now, and you will lose your attractiveness to her, by bending to her instead of having a spine and being a MAN!

Don't be a jerk, there's a fine line to walk, and you must tread carefully. I'd still go the humor route though. Nothing beats the combination of manliness with humor. NOTHING. And love, be sure to do it in a loving way.

Excuse me gents....insecure female here(granted,an aspie one,so mabe my thinking is different then his girlfiriend)why do so many aspie guys seem to think women will like them more if they act more like the jerks they see getting girls.....the girls dont like those guys for being macho jerks....they like them for their looks,their popularity and there for status in the "in" crowd,their humor,their money,their car....they put up with them being jerks because of this other stuff....if you dont have this other stuff,being a jerk is not going to earn you points....insecure women do not have a "sense of humor"...they have an obsession with not being "good enough" to actually be loved by someone...that is not going to be helped by treating them in a "manly" manor....bad aspie male advice in my opinion.

See your problem is you associate being manly with being a jerk. The two are not related in any way.

The reason women like the jerks is because they also have another quality that alot of "nice" guys lack, and that's self confidence and a spine.

Popular to contrary belief, and yours, it IS possible to be a manly man, have a spine, and still be a very nice and loving person. If Jesus was such a man, then its possible for us to be that as well, though not as perfect.

So to sum up, the reason they have all those things, and have women, is they go out and get them, and thats a result of self confidence, a can do attitude, and not backing down when things get rough, even if the rough things comes from their significant others. It is possible to not go overboard, and be a nice person about it.

Its all about BALANCE.... remember.... B A L A N C E.