Neurotypical Mask

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I am not able to put on a mask, it seems too hard to me.

There is none, I don't even try. Usually I try to compensate by being very quiet.

Isn't that a mask? That's not your usual self. Aren't you being something different from how you really are - around people? You change yourself.

Been putting that mask on daily since I turned about 17 or 18. Took until then to truly figure it out, but I'm still seen as rather idiosyncratic, just in a more jovial manner that people find very easy to get along with. Unfortunately, the mask is nigh impossible to remove around almost anyone now...even around my girlfriend, which terrifies me. Close family still gets the unaltered me, though . Not to say I don't slip-up regularly, though.

Yes, I have numerous masks to wear. The most successful is my Happy Beagle Face. I taught myself this mask when I was photographing people in NYC. It puts people at ease and dogs like it too.

There is a big down side. I get exhausted by the act and need to decompress.

No one cared who I was until I put on the mask.

... Of course, they didn't care afterwards, either, so I took it off again.

Seriously, though, I've come to accept that people will see me as eccentric, at best. Maintaining a fake persona is mentally exhausting for me in the long run (similar to what several others have pointed out already), so I try my best (which, admittedly, isn't always good enough) to avoid "faking" it unless it's absolutely necessary.

As a child, I was constantly chastised for being "weird," "immature," "a troublemaker," etc. These days, I've pretty much perfected the art of "social theater." Whenever I have to interact with others, I fake it to avoid offending anyone. Of course, when I'm with other Aspies, I act like myself. Part of why I need so much time to myself is that I spend so much energy on acting.

I tried long enough to the point where some NT behavoirs seemed natural.

But then I found out
1. I was not as good at it as I thought I was (bieng disgnosed with moderate-severe Aspergers not the high functioning kind helped dissuade me of that myth)
2. It leads to things like burnout and possible dissssociation.

I can sorta put on a neurotypical mask. For example, I can control my stimming in public (by rubbing my hands underneath the desk inside of flinging my arm about). But when I get stressed, the mask fades away.

Never did wear a mask. I am defiant that way.

Me neither. I wish I could. Like it is said on this thread people don't like the truth but I get tired of trying to think how to do that.

The best I can do to hide my feelings is be very quiet but I'm naturally reserved IRL so that's still pretty much me being authentic. When I'm exhausted I'm the exact opposite tho so then I can really forget being "normal". I suffer from foot in mouth disease anyway but then I really have no filter it just all spills out. I remember when we had our community yard sale (think it was last year?). I was so tired from getting up early and not getting enough sleep. This woman came by to look at our stuff and was holding her baby. Her phone rang I yelled something like "oh f**k I hate that" because I thought it was mine. She walked away after that so yup guess I lost a sale.

I do have a mask, in a way. It's more like Ive adapted to act more like NTs. Ive been doing that since Primary school, developing an NT filter. It's not like an ordinary filter, where you filter actions, it's more like a filter where I work out what expression to use and how to respond to everything on impulse. I can be myself, but I haven't properly been myself since I was about ten. I've just developed into a walking mask unless I'm alone. Only time I do start to drop the filter and be more like myself is when I have a sensory overload.

I can but it is very exhausting and it feels like I am being fake

I try to do that, but somewhere usually between the 10-20 minute mark, I say or do something weird and then I just give up because the person already knows I'm "different".

I have all sorts of different masks. When I have no idea how to act, I act very shy and quiet. That allows me to observe people and get a sense of what they're like.

Most of the time I try to act my age. When I act immature people lose respect for me. When people don't have respect for me I get way more stressed out. I can't handle that stress, so this mask is definitely worth it.

When I'm around skeptical types who love to be right I put on a mask as well. That includes a lot of aspies. I try to hide all of my "unscientific" beliefs. If I do mention them I try to be distant and abstract about them. That makes it harder for them to attack my beliefs.

I used to have a 'normal person' mask but I remember the vicar's wife telling me that I was very false (which really shocked me because I always told the truth). She recommened I read a book she had about 'dropping the mask'. I have always had this mental picture about how I do that 'mask' kind of thing. In the picture is me in the middle, sitting inside this enormous and intricate machine which I work in order to communicate with people and then I assess the feedback from them and make changes to my machine.

Nowadays the only mask I wear is my professional teacher mask if I'm teaching. I'm not sure this is a mask - it's really a way of behaving which fits properly and appropriately in a school when you're in a teaching role. I think calling it a mask is wrong because a mask implies some degree of falsity (as my previous minister's wife said). I see it more as a professional code of conduct.