What is that "link" between people

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nurseangela
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13 Jan 2016, 6:02 pm

Idealist wrote:

nurseangela wrote:

Idealist wrote:

nurseangela wrote:

I'm not talking about close friends either. You can still have a connection with certain people by having a few of the things I listed above without "loving" them. An example would be some of my co-workers I can connect well with or some at church or in the knitting group I was in or some Aspies I communicated with on AC, but they just don't have that special "click" to even put them into "close friend status". For me, people are on levels. There are strangers, acquaintances, friends, close friends, best friends, family and Hunny (pretty much in that order). Love for me goes to best friends, family and Hunny stages and possibly close friends. It's complicated. I think it has to do with how much trust you put in someone and that makes you a more open person to then be able to love that person.

Love has many forms.

Are you familiar with Colossians 3:14?

Evidently, not familiar enough. Explanation?

Sorry, I got distracted by a "How It's Made Video" about artificial grass...

Colossians 3:14
I don't quite remember the exact wording of it, but it talks about the many individual parts that all within love, and that it is love that links us together, bonding us in unity.

I don't think there's much love going around the world right now - especially in the politics forums.

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LaetiBlabla
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13 Jan 2016, 6:06 pm

Idealist wrote:

-Link- post?

I confess that i am pretty bad at all communication means listed, ... currently working on accepting and liking eye contact (as a start).
I think that i look like a very cold person but all my feelings come out when i play cello and piano. I'm also writing poems to express myself, since i was 8.

But, please, what does it have to do with love?

Last edited by LaetiBlabla on 13 Jan 2016, 6:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.

nurseangela
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13 Jan 2016, 6:24 pm

LaetiBlabla wrote:

Idealist wrote:

-Link- post?

I confess that i am pretty bad at all communication means listed, ... currently working on accepting and liking eye contact (as a start).
I think that i look like a very cold person but all my feelings come out when i play cello and piano. I'm also writing poems to express myself, since i am 8.

But, please, what does it have to do with love?

I don't know a whole lot about children since I don't have any, but I'm thinking back to my classes on childhood development and I'm thinking it may be difficult for you to understand "love" since you are 8 yrs old. Actually, most adults have problems figuring out what "love" means, but it may be difficult for someone who is older (like me) to be able to explain the meaning of "love" in a way you would understand at this particular time in your life. What does the word "love" mean to you?

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LaetiBlabla
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13 Jan 2016, 6:34 pm

nurseangela wrote:

Oops, I'm sorry, I French native speaker. I meant "since i was 8" now i'm 36

) (now corrected in my message.)
For me love is giving.
Love can also be a feeling (that i would like to experiment).
Love can be a physical attraction to someone (that i know).

Again sorry for misleading you. :oops:

nurseangela
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13 Jan 2016, 6:42 pm

LaetiBlabla wrote:

nurseangela wrote:

Oops, I'm sorry, I French native speaker. I meant "since i was 8" now i'm 36

Whoopsie!

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nurseangela
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13 Jan 2016, 6:44 pm

One thing I have to say is when I talk about a subject with Aspies they tend to pick the subject apart and I start to lose what the main question was in the beginning. Can you state what your particular question is again in regards to love?

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nurseangela
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13 Jan 2016, 6:46 pm

You can be attracted to someone without any love involved.

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Idealist
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13 Jan 2016, 6:53 pm

nurseangela wrote:

You can be attracted to someone without any love involved.

Technically, attraction is also a part of love, a very important part depending upon who you ask.

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goofygoobers
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13 Jan 2016, 7:00 pm

I don't really connect with others, but it's different with me and my boyfriend. We connect over our shared desires, interests, and love for each other. We desire each other's presence and affection. To me, things people share and can bond over is that link.

nurseangela
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13 Jan 2016, 7:05 pm

Idealist wrote:

nurseangela wrote:

You can be attracted to someone without any love involved.

Technically, attraction is also a part of love, a very important part depending upon who you ask.

I think a lot of attraction (especially in the beginning) is lust. Actual love takes some time, imo.

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nurseangela
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13 Jan 2016, 7:06 pm

goofygoobers wrote:

I agree. Is your bf Aspie too?

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kraftiekortie
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13 Jan 2016, 7:07 pm

I've actually "fallen in love" with people at first sight.

But true, "adult" love--the type that's requisite for successful relationships, does take time, usually.

nurseangela
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13 Jan 2016, 7:09 pm

I think "the link" has a lot to do with how you can "show" your feelings. That's why I think Aspies have a hard time with friendships because a lot of "showing" has to do with eye contact, body language and facial expressions, tone of voice, etc.

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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
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LaetiBlabla
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13 Jan 2016, 7:11 pm

nurseangela wrote:

My initial question was: "What is that link between people."

I got the response "love".
I think it can well be it.
As far as i am concerned, love is something i give as a conscious social activity, it doesn't come from / or is a feeling.

My question remains the same but may then sound like:
"what is this love feeling between people?" (apart from special physical attraction)

- Does it feel something similar to when you listen to a nice music and you love it?
- Is it feeling close to someone because that person is similar to you
(same living place, same ideas, same interests, same family, etc.?)
- Is it a choice, is it conscious?
- Or is it maybe derived from physical attraction, unconsciously

nurseangela
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13 Jan 2016, 7:16 pm

Hey, Mr. K. I'm watching this show now on Amazon called "Married At First Sight" (season 3) where these people are matched with someone by experts then they meet each other for the first time at the wedding - essentially an arranged marriage. It's very interesting, but the women are having a very hard time because 2 of the 3 men picked aren't the least bit attractive. All of the women are attractive, so the 2 unattractive men aren't able to understand why the women don't want to be romantic with them or consummate the marriage. Duh. Anyway, the women are still giving it a chance to see if they will grow to love their new husbands that they are not the least bit attracted to. Very interesting. I'd like to see the tables turned and find out if men would stick it out with a woman that they didn't find the least bit attractive.

_________________
Me grumpy?
I'm happiness challenged.

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.

LaetiBlabla
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13 Jan 2016, 7:22 pm

goofygoobers wrote:

It is funny how love and desire are so tightly linked.
They are so opposite: love is something you give to particular persons, desire is something you want to get from them.
Maybe love is always coming from desire.

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