"Easy" questions

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The one I've always had a problem with, is: "Good Morning" (emphasis on either syllable / word). I've always wondered how-in-the-world I'm suppose to know if it's a good morning----I mean, ask me at 4pm if I had a good morning, and I'd be able to let you know; but, 7am, when I first walk-in the door?

Even though I know it's just a greeting, and that all they're expecting is for you to say it, back, I've never been able to manage it, more than a handful of times, in my whole life----I always say "Hello". I had a boss, once, who got sooooo offended that I wouldn't say it, back, that SHE started saying "Hello" (I'm just SURE she was thinking she would show me how it feels to not be greeted properly)----the "joke" (so-to-speak) was on HER, though, cuz I was thinking: "Now, THAT makes more sense!!" LOL

Yes, same here. And to me "okay" is infinitely better than having something go wrong like family drama or a plumbing disaster. Okay is something to be thankful for.

Worst of all is "got any big plans for the weekend?" This mainly comes from younger people who, I don't know, must actually have the energy to get out and do stuff. They act so surprised when I don't have some amazing thing to brag about doing on the weekend. I just don't know what it is they expect to hear but it's like they think everything is supposed to be impressive or noteworthy somehow. I guess it's the way social media has influenced people, or vice versa maybe social media actually came into prominence because people were already becoming more shallow.

Whenever someone asks me a question like that, I feel like slapping them across the face. I absolutely detest imprecision, 'small talk' and conversations that are utterly meaningless because they don't actually convey any useful information, and these specific questions fulfil all three criteria.

Well.."good mourning" means "have a good mourning". Its not a question. Its not like "how was your weekend?". Its more like "have a nice weekend".

Its probably like "goodbye"- which centuries ago was "God be with you". Folks probably originally said "God be with you this mourning".

I always answer this;

"How are you?"

Me, "Do you want the honest answer or the short non real answer?

It trips people up all the time.

Whenever someone says Good Morning, I launch into Gandalf's speech at the beginning of The Hobbit.

Whenever I got asked those questions, and not on guard, I would start to answer truthfully. Not good in the elevator with the president of the company. That's why I'm just burnt. You have to be on guard at every damn moment when out in the world.

Got my first lesson on how I spoke on the phone when I got to New York. I would go into 'say too much for too long' mode when contacting someone in a business capacity. I was cut off one day and told in no uncertain terms that they were busy people and I need to get to the point.

Then you walk by later on and they invite you into the office to yuck it up. But get offended when I say I'm busy.

I don't get people.......

Can you summarize that speech for us?

LOL That's what I'm THINKING!!


I know you asked Kuraudo777, but here's the speech:

I despise those questions but have learnt (I think!) to appear super normal and comfortable with them, mainly by deflecting back to the other person. I will just say anything ("How are you?" - "Good thanks, you?") even if it's not true, because it appears to me that they don't care about what I answer, it's just a social nicety.

I really hate ones about the weekend etc because people seem to expect exciting plans, and the only acceptable way to say that you're staying in is to say, 'Just having a quiet one.' If I was being honest I'd be like, "I'm excited to order a pizza and re-watch my favourite show for the millionth time and then I will spend the majority of the weekend trying to avoid my housemates," which I don't think people would really get So yeah, basically I just give the briefest possible answer, then try to get them talking about themselves, because that's a lot less stressful and I can just make ooh and ahh sounds and nod haha.

I think these questions highlight the superficial nature of neurotypical communication. My psychiatrist recently gave me the example of someone saying, "How are you. I've been thinking about you." He told me that this doesn't mean that the person has actually been thinking about you. It is just something people say to make you feel cared about. I asked him why it would make you feel cared about that someone is lying about having thought about you. He said it is just social pleasantry, like grease to keep the motor running. Doesn't make any sense to me at all.

I see many cultural things that don't make sense to me. I hear many things that don't make sense to me. The basic social contract demands these things.

Too many times solutions on many things do not make sense in many ways. But, they are solutions none the less.

Oh, NO----that really STINKS, cuz I go out-of-my-way to remember to tell people when they've popped in my head during the day / week / whatever, cuz I think it's a really nice thing to do; but, after all this time, I guess they haven't believed me. I would never even THINK to lie about something like that!

I think neurotypical people do think about the people whom they tell "I've been thinking about you"--though these thoughts make up a very small part of the neurotypical person's thoughts.

This is an attempt by the neurotypical to please his/her conversational partner. It's not exactly sincere, though it's not totally insincere, either.

That never occurred to me. I always say that I'm thinking of someone only when I'm thinking of someone. Just kinda figured that's they way it was.

These types of questions take me at least 10 seconds to answer because I actually have to think what I've done in the day and how I feel about it, weighing up the positives and the negatives and coming to a conclusion, but my reply is usually just a one word answer anyway.