Hypersensitive to signs of rejection

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I'm definitely hypersensitive to rejection so much so that I reject people before I talk to them no matter how much I'm interested in talking to them. In fact the more interested I am, the faster I reject them. Sometimes I don't even have to look at them to reject them.
I trip out when my friend doesn't get back to me for a few days or doesn't want to talk on the phone. I think it's okay to trip out provided it doesnt transform into an attack on her. If people say they will call me at a specific time, I expect them to follow through or let me know something came up. We have attempted to deal with this by scheduling a weekly phone call that can be as short as 5 minutes. That lessens my fear that she doesnt want to talk to me which captures my general self defeating attitude I learned from my mothers negligence.

I was always so slow on the uptake that it didn't even dawn on me that I was rejected for a while. I guess mebbe that was a saving grace of sorts.

I considered that I might have Avoidant Personality Disorder before I considered that I might have ASD. I don't think they're mutually exclusive though, so I could have both. I definitely look for signs of rejection and I'm easily discouraged from the smallest indicator. If I'm unsure whether or not something is a sign of rejection then I err on the side of considering it a sign of rejection. I guess it's safer that way because if you act on a misinterpreted signal you open yourself up to more harsh evaluation than if you don't act. I'm not saying this is the right way to go through life though. I'm pretty sure it's not and I'm trying to change.

the thing that saved my life, is the gradual realization that it is a matter of frequency, i.e., I am of a different frequency or vibration than 99.99% of the rest of humanity. so it is only natural that there will be no harmonious resonance between me and 99.99% of anybody else.