Open letter to NT society [long]

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I did not mean rehearsing so you simply don't forget what you're ordering. I mean bracing yourself because not only are you terrified of speaking, so you're able to verbally say the sentence correctly.

And once again, if this doesn't apply to you, it's not addressed to you...

I didn't spot a single lie in this post - although not all NTs engage in sickeningly sycophantic behaviour, this is ultimately how society functions as a whole. This is what is expected of people, in order to become popular, one must dilute one's authenticity and individuality until they become mediocre and bland (paraphrasing Oscar Wilde here).

Hello,

I like your post. I am a concious NT. I wrote a book about a strange experience. I'm not sure what to do with it.
I would very, very much appreciate feedback or interest from those on the spectrum. Conscious NT is a big claim, but I never lie.
Below is a brief description of me and the book. If it interests you, contact me and I will give you a link to read the full book on the web.
No cost or anything, no download necessary, and new input for you.


My name is Claire Hoogstra, and I am a thirty-one year old advocate of autistic intelligence. I currently live with my husband Brandon, who is on the autism spectrum, and our two young kids in Latin America. I have a B.A. in Communication Studies from Hollins University in Virginia, though I didn't like school.

This book is about my opting to become homeless with my husband prior to our marriage and having children. It explores the nature of autistic intelligence, the lack of recognition of its existence, and it follows us through the beginning of a difficult journey. Throughout, I maintain a position that autism is really just the vestiges of the male mind trying to crop back up in a now insanely feminist world. My writing is not anti-female though, just pro-male. In my telling of our story, I also offer many observations about the state of mankind on this planet, which can be bleak given the situations that we face during our travels. I intend to plant a seed of doubt in a reader's mind about what is commonly considered to be right versus wrong in the way we interact with one another and the world around us, while simultaneously offering hope in other possibilities.

The story opens with my return to the U.S. from South Africa in 2009, where I was trying to help my father achieve his dream of establishing a space for those on the spectrum to live apart from neurotypicals and create unique things without being weighed down by all of the rule sets of the world in its current state. Believing my mother could be integral to the salvation of the project, having been sent away by my father when our funding was cut, I return to live with her as an adult. Over the course of one year spent in my mother's house, I begin to lose interest in her importance, growing agitated with the revelation that she seems to show no compassion for anything, and I grow increasingly anxious to embark on a life with Brandon, a diagnosed schizophrenic man who I am in love with.

Brandon and I met several years before during a period of enlightenment for both of us. For him, this was a time of realization that he was a lot less nuts than he thought and everyone else was a lot less sane. It was then that he reached out to my father, believing himself to be autistic and met me. Because Brandon had such a profound impact on me since he came into my life, I find myself terribly distraught over the hard fact that he is now nearly dead due to the damage the world has inflicted on him. I resolve that I will either commit suicide or join up with Brandon. He finds a way to bribe the director of the halfway house he is living in to let me stay under the pretense that I am an addict, and from there, we begin a journey that is both horrible and beautiful all at once.

We spend several months living among rough men in the recovery home before leaving in late Winter to become homeless. With nowhere to go that will allow us to stay together, we venture into the unknown. We sneak into a downtown building to sleep, stay at a forgotten campground for several weeks, experience life in a homeless shelter, crash in a dilapidated, vacant motel, and sleep behind a church by the sea while we travel through mill towns and bay side beach cities. Finally, we make it back to where we started and are able to give birth to our son, who gives us his protection until we can make a heavenly alternative to life on Earth as we know it or die trying.

My book isn't all about the dark side either. After all, the two main characters are creatures of light, meaning that their intentions are pure. There is accidental humor sprinkled throughout coupled with light-hearted sarcasm.
-Claire

Hey nurseangela, you are attacking me directly and pretending to be concerned. What exactly do you nurse? Other than the notion of your own importance. No, this is not a fictional book, obviously. And schizophrenia is closely linked with autism, which by the way was a misdiagnosis. Who said anything about Aspergers? And what on God's great Earth are you talking about with all of your insane assumptions? I've never spoken with a thicker skilled person. Why are you on here, to feed on these people. I'm well educated and normal brained. All NTs consider ending their lives at some point. Limited scopes such as yours make this world a terrible place. And no, I didn't conceive or have children while homeless. That's utterly ridiculous. Stating you've seen the entirety of something because you half heartedly glanced at a description of it is a mark of the perpetually useless and jaded.

Again, if one is in the group that you are addressing, then of course they are going to take offense to what you are saying because they have to stand up for their side and try to explain the things you don't understand. Do you want to understand NT's, or are you just letting off steam?

Example: The read between the lines thing. There is no way for us NOT to do it - our brains are wired like that. We can't change it so why expect us to? I'm wired to make assumptions. Sorry. If I found things about you as an Aspie that I would like you to change, are you going to change? No, because you probably can't. Same with NT's. We have to have small talk. It's imperative for our well-being. We're really not nuts. Same as you needing your alone time. Of course, there are the people that are going to overdo things to try to make themselves "look better" like the Facebook friend thing you were talking about, but I've also seen some pretty boisterous Aspies (just watch Mozart and the Whale) and you'll know what I'm talking about. People are all different and should be treated on a case by case bases.

And I've had problems with certain Aspies. Each person is going to be different. If I posted a long letter about the problems I've had with Aspies, I'm sure to get the same kind of replies that you're getting from me. But I know that all people aren't the same. All threads like this do is make the gap between Aspie and NT even bigger. Any person would take offense to it if you're on the side that is being discussed. How are you trying to understand NT's any better? Read any books lately? Or are you just wanting us to change? It goes both ways. You are never going to feel like the NT side has done anything to change for you because there are way too many NT's and MOST don't know about Aspergers. They just think that you are "different". I would go by the people (NT's) that you do know - are they doing anything to get to know you more and why you do the things you do? If not, then they aren't worth your time. Same goes for me, if I'm in a friendship/relationship with an Aspie and they don't know why I act like I do and try to understand me more, then they aren't worth my time.

I believe in neurotypicals meeting autistic people halfway.

I believe in autistic people meeting neurotypicals halfway.

I don't see why neurotypicals can't learn to understand, at least in some sense, autistic people

And vice versa.

There are good NT's and bad NT's.

There are good autistic people and bad autistic people.

I believe in neurotypicals meeting autistic people halfway.

I believe in autistic people meeting neurotypicals halfway.

I don't see why neurotypicals can't learn to understand, at least in some sense, autistic people

And vice versa.

There are good NT's and bad NT's.

There are good autistic people and bad autistic people.

We are all the same subspecies: Homo sapiens sapiens.

I whole-heartedly understand the sentiment of having a hard go in an NT-dominated not-autistic-friendly world, especially in more hostile places or cultures. However, there are good NTs out in the world. I don't personally know very many, but if I took that to believe that NTs are mostly bad or 99% bad that would just be an example of the availability heuristic on my end. I tend to get along with autistics much more, but I have also met autistic people I couldn't stand or who were rude terrible people that were unkind to others. A lot of it has to do with exposure I believe. I also think that once I am exposed to more autistics and educated NTs I will see this ratio tip a bit more to a balanced level, but I don't know for sure.

However, I agree that both NTs and autistics need to work very hard to understand each other and themselves, because the heart of the issue is that both parties are going to keep on existing and keep on miscommunicating and keeping on in general, so it's important to be as diplomatic as possible in the interim
Although, when I am having a bad day or whatever, I want to settle down either in RL or on the internet with people (again usually autistics) who understand me or are at least willing to lend a sympathetic ear, and for me that's what matters in the long run!

I don't understand this post at all. In today's society, there has never been more freedom to be who or what you want to be. Society has no restraints at all in my book. I see everything as a freaking free-for-all.

Also I'm not asking NTs to explain because I don't understand. I'm able to accept people without understanding. I want them to do the same...do I have to keep repeating myself here?