Hopefully not Homer slow

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It's good to know that. I think that with proper diagnosis, whatever it will be, and training, I can learn to adapt to some degree. What you mentioned (And it is spot on), I don't know if I can find a way to make that better, but rather a way to deal with it that is socially acceptable.

You mentioned that you are not good at thinking on your feet. I can be fast and witty (Great database of jokes and 'isms' that I can recall at the drop of a hat) and that gives people the impression that I am fast on my feet.

But, it's not the same with 'real conversation.' And then they wonder where this quick, facile mind went to.

It went into filtering everything out and sorting and prioritizing while continuing to try and process all that new information as well. Basically, it bottlenecks. And, unlike a computer, it doesn't take things in order by way of command structure. It just comes through in waves of information and my mind just tries to find the things it can grasp, And, that ain't always grasping the important things.

So, I come across as inept, foolish, uncaring, unintelligent...the list goes on. But, I'm funny!!

You don't advance being the 'funny one'.

They sound very selfish to me.

Can you guys do Instant Messaging, or online chat where it's really quick back-and-forth? I am hopeless at that. I know I'm supposed to say something in reply but my mind goes completely blank, and I just panic and can't think. For some reason it's even worse than real life conversation, because if you just keep typing "oh" it looks really dumb.

This forum works for me because it's okay to take hours before figuring out how to reply. And then if what you say comes out wrong, you can rewrite it to look less stupid.

All my 'instant messaging' is short and only in phone text. "when come home?" type of thing. But I hate it.

I have bad auditory processing overall. Especially when it involves multi-step sorts of things. I have relatively bad short-term memory--getting a little worse as I age.

But, sometimes,when I am forced to "think on my feet," I do okay for a while--but am relieved when it's over.

My 'thinking on my feet comes in three flavors.
1) If it's a special interest, instant recall and encyclopedic knowledge (unless it's a new interest and am still learning) and when this happens, it's always fun to find someone more experienced. THEN I am completely theirs. "Take me home...I'm yours.

2) If I'm in a position to just be glib or funny, no worries.

3) Anything else and I'm a gonner very quickly.

Auditory processing....sigh...here is something that drives me crazy. Don't use your cell phone and put me on speaker. I can get about 10% of what you say and the rest is conjecture. So, please speak into the phone. If I'm in any situation where the acoustics are 'bouncy' or 'echoey' I can't make heads or tails of it. If it's in a place with a lot of ambient noise, fuhgeddaboudit!!

One of my great social pleasures is this (And keep it in perspective): I have to do the morning tea thing once in a while with Attila-the-Hunny. It's a Chinese thing. I mean it's HUGE to them. Very social bonding thing. Restaurants are ALWAYS very noisy. Dishes, talking, almost impossible to communicate or focus.

So, why is it a great pleasure?

Well, everybody speaks Chinese and don't expect me to interact at all. They don't speak English. So, I can just sit there and squirm and not have to participate. It does get to me after a while. But, it is a social situation I can participate in (She puts up with me so I must do something in return LOL) and not have to worry about the 'interaction' part.

Remember, this is not the sensory overload part. She gets that and doesn't make me go all the time. That's why I squirm and get anxious. But, I DON'T HAVE TO COMMUNICATE!! !! ! YAY!! !! !

Also, and this may sound racist, but it is my real observation, they are the most expressive people I have ever seen. Their faces are so much easier to register because of the extreme nature of their expressions. If anyone has ever seen an Hong Kong movie, you probably thought they were 'overacting' with all the mugging and such. Well, they are to a degree, but it's all there in their basic interactions.

And, I am blessed that I have excellent facial recognition compared to what I have heard here. The only time it has failed me was several times when I was younger. This will sound really strange, but there have been a few times I did not recognize my own reflection. One time I was on a bus. I saw a face in the side mirror. I did not know it was me until I realized the movements were the same.


That's really bizarre, yes?

How did you folks get together? Sounds like you go into a Chinatown tea shop with her--either in Sunset Park, or Manhattan.

We met online. I was dating a woman here in Manhattan China town. There were things I couldn't understand and we drifted apart. So, I went online to talk with people and learn some of the culture. She connected with me because her art background and mine. Basically, we could talk LOL. Shared interests and all. She pursued me though. Completely. And, amazingly did not get 'green carded'.

3 years later, she was in America. That's a whole series of comedic events as well. Had to hire a lawyer because I could not make heads or tails of the forms. Even had to get married twice because some people in my family decided to do it too quickly and did not listen to me or the person who told us where to get married.

When I go Morning Tea, we go to one of a few places that are not too far. Either along Ave. U, 86th street or 8th Ave. 8th Ave is technically the Brooklyn Chinatown. But, it's a deep Chinese presence all the way to Ave U between Nostrand and 86th street.

It must be interesting in that tea shop. It offers glimpses into a different culture. Congrats for meeting this probably unique woman.

It's not a tea shop. Morning Tea is a full fledged 'brunch' type of affair with food and noise and all. If you've ever been in a busy Chinese restaurant, it's worse on Sunday mornings during that morning tea time.

She's really only unique by our cultural standards. She's unique as a person, but culturally, very, very much traditional Chinese.

So far, she's put up with me while I sort this. And that is very unique by way of the troubles I've had in the past as well as some of her friends are, shall we say, less than kind. They don't really know how much Cantonese I know, so, they slip once in a while.

But, it is one of the reasons I'm so determined to get this all under control and get back to life as it should be. I don't mind struggling. But I want to at least move in the right direction minus the aimless attempts I've been making for the last ohhhhh, 50 years or so LOL

You must know lots of Cantonese. Yingeren is learning Mandarin.

My Cantonese is horrible. I know the bad words and a few phrases. Just enough to know when I'm being insulted. YiGeRen is WAYYYYYY ahead of me on her studies. My language skills dropped because I put emphasis on her learning English. If she's in an environment that does not require her to speak English, she won't. So, it slips. And, I've been preoccupied with things as my 'condition' has worsened over the last 5 years. In 2010, I returned to NYC and it's been a steady decline over that time because of the incredible sensory input.

The wifeington has not helped that either. If I try to learn one word (more and it's too much) she will tell me three variations, the Mandarin version and some other thing. Can't get all that at once and it's too confusing. I can only digest one word at a time. And saying them is not easy for me. The sensory input issues plus being extremely tone deaf hurts when learning a 'tone based language.' Someone can call another person's mother a horse because Ma and ma and ma can mean either: (a) horse (b)Mother (c) the signifier at the end of a sentence to make it a question. There's another thing it means but YiGeRen would know that better than me. But, say it wrong and you've insulted a mother......

I have trouble with tonal languages, too.

Any foreign language, really.

I know somebody who has a Chinese girlfriend. She's a dancer.

Do you have skype or something? I used to be like that, but practice helps. We could say you have to come up with an answer in a certain amount of time. Practicing being under pressure will help. I still get anxious when I don't know the person, but only a bit. My problem is in a group, though i've gradually improved.

I really need to force myself to learn another language.

I need to get back on it too. When the Chinese speak slowly and relaxed, it is musical.