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JakeASD
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11 Mar 2016, 6:20 am

Suicide was a past interest of mine. For a period that lasted approximately 6 months, all I could think about was killing myself. The idea completely monopolised my thoughts, and it was dangerously alluring for quite sometime. The obsessiveness began after I mixed sertraline with many ounces of 'space cake'. Ironically, I was at my happiest during this time.


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Starfoxx
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11 Mar 2016, 7:08 am

JakeASD wrote:
Suicide was a past interest of mine. For a period that lasted approximately 6 months, all I could think about was killing myself. The idea completely monopolised my thoughts, and it was dangerously alluring for quite sometime. The obsessiveness began after I mixed sertraline with many ounces of 'space cake'. Ironically, I was at my happiest during this time.

Maybe because it's like your achieving something or have more control even though it's control over how you die.



earthmom
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11 Mar 2016, 11:34 am

Starfoxx wrote:
JakeASD wrote:
Suicide was a past interest of mine. For a period that lasted approximately 6 months, all I could think about was killing myself. The idea completely monopolised my thoughts, and it was dangerously alluring for quite sometime. The obsessiveness began after I mixed sertraline with many ounces of 'space cake'. Ironically, I was at my happiest during this time.

Maybe because it's like your achieving something or have more control even though it's control over how you die.


Exactly. It's a calming feeling, knowing that you can always do that and then it somehow makes handling everything else easier.


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JakeASD
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11 Mar 2016, 12:46 pm

earthmom wrote:
Starfoxx wrote:
JakeASD wrote:
Suicide was a past interest of mine. For a period that lasted approximately 6 months, all I could think about was killing myself. The idea completely monopolised my thoughts, and it was dangerously alluring for quite sometime. The obsessiveness began after I mixed sertraline with many ounces of 'space cake'. Ironically, I was at my happiest during this time.

Maybe because it's like your achieving something or have more control even though it's control over how you die.


Exactly. It's a calming feeling, knowing that you can always do that and then it somehow makes handling everything else easier.


Concur. I felt incredibly calm during this period; unfortunately, however, the repercussions after its conclusion were hellish.


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Claradoon
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11 Mar 2016, 12:54 pm

I'll tell you what goes with Autism: Bullying.
I think it's an inevitable connection.
I believe bullying goes to suicide.



earthmom
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11 Mar 2016, 1:01 pm

JakeASD wrote:
earthmom wrote:
Starfoxx wrote:
JakeASD wrote:
Suicide was a past interest of mine. For a period that lasted approximately 6 months, all I could think about was killing myself. The idea completely monopolised my thoughts, and it was dangerously alluring for quite sometime. The obsessiveness began after I mixed sertraline with many ounces of 'space cake'. Ironically, I was at my happiest during this time.

Maybe because it's like your achieving something or have more control even though it's control over how you die.


Exactly. It's a calming feeling, knowing that you can always do that and then it somehow makes handling everything else easier.


Concur. I felt incredibly calm during this period; unfortunately, however, the repercussions after its conclusion were hellish.


Do you want to explain what happened?


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Starfoxx
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11 Mar 2016, 1:08 pm

Claradoon wrote:
I'll tell you what goes with Autism: Bullying.
I think it's an inevitable connection.
I believe bullying goes to suicide.

Or hating everyone and becoming a bully right back :/



B19
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11 Mar 2016, 2:12 pm

The increased rate of bullying suffered and the increased rate of suicide could be correlated,possibly. Probably. It would be interesting to see some solid research on it.



Arcnarenth
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11 Mar 2016, 4:33 pm

Depression and suicidal ideation masquerading as autism? Interesting notion. My experiences have been the opposite mostly. I'm undiagnosed and just given the circumstances in my life that'll probably never change.

I've been hospitalized three times in the past due to suicidal ideation. During my most recent stay, I brought up the possibility of Asperger's Syndrome with the psychiatrist overseeing me. His reaction was one that has become all too typical amongst the supposed psychological experts. The word 'autism' is treated the same way that Dracula would treat holy water. My psych doc said that it couldn't be autism because my symptoms were a manifestation of my depression. End of discussion.

I had a psych evaluation with a doctor from Disability Determination last week who had the same '10ft pole' reaction when I mentioned the possibility of ASD. He had no qualms about identifying Major Depressive Disorder, Generalized Anxiety, and Social Anxiety, but wasn't even willing to look at any evidence I tried to present towards ASD.

With the constant dismissive attitudes and invalidation is it that surprising for these 'experts' that depression seems to be my primary modus operandi? :roll:



B19
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11 Mar 2016, 4:37 pm

It's not surprising to me.