The Suicide Thread

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Suicide was a past interest of mine. For a period that lasted approximately 6 months, all I could think about was killing myself. The idea completely monopolised my thoughts, and it was dangerously alluring for quite sometime. The obsessiveness began after I mixed sertraline with many ounces of 'space cake'. Ironically, I was at my happiest during this time.

I'll tell you what goes with Autism: Bullying.
I think it's an inevitable connection.
I believe bullying goes to suicide.

The increased rate of bullying suffered and the increased rate of suicide could be correlated,possibly. Probably. It would be interesting to see some solid research on it.

Depression and suicidal ideation masquerading as autism? Interesting notion. My experiences have been the opposite mostly. I'm undiagnosed and just given the circumstances in my life that'll probably never change.

I've been hospitalized three times in the past due to suicidal ideation. During my most recent stay, I brought up the possibility of Asperger's Syndrome with the psychiatrist overseeing me. His reaction was one that has become all too typical amongst the supposed psychological experts. The word 'autism' is treated the same way that Dracula would treat holy water. My psych doc said that it couldn't be autism because my symptoms were a manifestation of my depression. End of discussion.

I had a psych evaluation with a doctor from Disability Determination last week who had the same '10ft pole' reaction when I mentioned the possibility of ASD. He had no qualms about identifying Major Depressive Disorder, Generalized Anxiety, and Social Anxiety, but wasn't even willing to look at any evidence I tried to present towards ASD.

With the constant dismissive attitudes and invalidation is it that surprising for these 'experts' that depression seems to be my primary modus operandi?

It's not surprising to me.