Everybody Is Identical: a response to An Open Letter to the Depressed Aspergian

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I liked the Infinite Jest quote a lot (especially seeing as I feel quite a kinship with David Foster Wallace personally). In my opinion, it's not the comments of doctors that are the real source of why people on the spectrum feel "more different" than others. It's that neurotypicals tend to live in a mental world whose "structure" is largely defined by social convention. Most of the things they tend to see as important are things that "everybody" has a shared vocabulary for, which creates the illusion of them all living in a large "hive-mind" if you will. But take an autistic whose understanding of the world in childhood was developed in near-isolation--especially if he/she also has a sensory difference such as synesthesia--and this person doesn't have a way to describe this (very real) experience. The comments of doctors only have so much weight when they affirm this everyday experience.

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"That’s not to say families don’t need support too, 80 percent of married couples with autistic children get divorced."

Got any data? Because I've read that the 80% divorce for parents of disabled kids is a myth. The actual rate of divorce isn't substantially higher than the general population, I think.

However, spreading that myth can make it more stressful for parents of newly diagnosed kids, because they worry about losing their marriage on top of all their other worries.

Hear hear!

This is truly a great forum post thanks for sharing. Excellent and decent post. I found this much informative, as to what I was exactly searching for. Thanks for such post and please keep it up.

I agree with the majority of the article. However, there are scientifically proven differences in the autistic brain. Different active regions , neuron dysfunction in the frontal lobe. Autopsies of scientists and engineers have revealed additional "sensors" which lend to the hypersensitivity, hyper focus, and substantiate the need for sameness. Theory of mind which is where social skills stem from is also not present. Narrow scientific interests that due to the intensity possible by the autistic brain, often leads to advances in the topic being studied. Tesla. Edison. Jobs. Musk.

All high functioning Autistics.
Its a very detailed topic but I will agree we need to celebrate neurodiversity as that will bring about the newness this world needs.
Im no expert but I have learned to use the OCD and hyper focus together when researching scientific topics.
The beauty of it, the human brain can never stop learning .
Division never works.United we stand.

very interesting letter, deep thoughts, thanks

Good article

I'm really struggling right now. Been out of hospitals for about 7 years now. Articles is a little bit of help for now. But again, I am slipping.

i AM AN AUTISTIC ADULT, AND I HAVE SUFFERED FROM DEPRESSION MOST OF MY LIFE, EVEN THOUGH BOTH MY AUTISM AND DEPRESSION WERE DIAGNOSED LATE IN LIFE. DEPRESSION AMONG THOSE WITH ASPERGER's IS NOT DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND; BITTER LONELINESS, BEING MISUNDERSTOOD BY SOCIETY AND ASHAMED THAT WE ARE DIFFERENT, INABILITY BY MANY OF US EVER TO FORM INTIMATE RELATIONS, DATE OR MARRY, INABILITY BY MANY OF US TO FINDS OR KEEP A JOB, DESPITE MANY OF US BEING HIGHLY EDUCATED AND INTELLIGENT,OSTRACIZATION, BULLYING, ISOLATION, NOT BELONGING ANYWHERE OR HAVING A PLACE IN WHICH TO THRIVE. CHARLI DEVNET

Great insights. My 18 year old son is going though this.

Our sensitivities that can be such a burden can also be opportunities, to explore sensory worlds that are not readily available to NTs. I've found my release, my sanity, in nature where I feel completely at home, embraced. I recharge, then bundle up, and dive back into society for another dose of frazzle. It would be nice to have a space to be open with others, without having to play games that are such a struggle. It would be nice to live in a community that appreciates and supports our differences, all differences.

I suffer from depression and anxiety, and it is hard for people I know to understand or even beleive that it is happening. I dont know if it this way for others on the spectrum, but my outward "emotional appearance" is so "flat", that no one really noticed when I fell off the deep end.

The hardest part for me in seeking help was physically getting help. It took me almost a month to tell my then partner, that I was struggleing, and another two months before I was ready to see a doctor about it. It is hard enough for me to talk to strangers, especially ones of authority, so approaching my doctor about the subject was a horrible experiance I tried very hard to avoid. To make everything worse, I was afraid that the medication would make me even more "flat" and reduce my sex drive further (if that is possible), because I researched all the medications I coould find and read that some people have that issue. I was terrified that the medication would put me into regression, and I would be again unable to handle another person's touch.

Luckliy these fears were all proven invalid, and instead of regressing I think I have actually made some headway. I hope more people on the spectrum find a way to reach out if they need to, Its hard but its worth it to get releif.