possibly autistic bf help and advice please

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By the way, I also hate wet kisses and wipe them off. My husband teases me about that.

I was wanting to give him a hug and/or a kiss at the zoo, would this be bad? Or should i just ask him first? Usually even at home i ask him if i can hug him or touch him because if i don't he will seem annoyed.

and yes I am his first girlfriend, first everything.

Yes, definitely ask first before giving a hug or kiss. And I would hold off on the kissing if I were you. I would just stick to hugs if he is ok with them. Whenever I meet anyone whom I suspect might be Autistic or if I know someone is, I always, as a rule, ask if they would like a hug before I give one. I am a hugger and I love hugs and many Autistics do, but some can't tolerate the physical sensation and some find it actually very painful. So I would always ask first. And even if he is not actually Autistic, he sounds like he has sensitivity to touch so definitely ask first. And if he says no, don't take it personally.

Thanks!

I like spontaneity myself. I wish you could just hug and kiss the guy, without having to ask.

I will let you all know how it goes on Friday

You're welcome!

Well, to me it sounds like he could be somewhere on the spectrum now, but it seems more or less like he is in denial about it and simply never really learned to cope with the issues that come with autism.
Maybe his mood swings actually come from being sensory overloaded from too much input from his environment (sound, smell, a conversation to pay attention to) or maybe it's even from being emotionally overloaded in a way. Emotions can be a really confusing thing and if he is in love as well, he may find it difficult to deal with the chaos that comes with it.
Or he just has severe anger management issues (caution advised in this case). Unfortunately, it will be a hard if not impossible task to tell that one without knowing him, so it will have to be up to you to observe that.

Since you're aware of the allergy he has, you might want to propose him a backup plan if it's a somewhat severe case.
As I've mentioned before, spontaneous changes in routine, schedule and plans isn't exactly something most of us are comfortable with, so in such a special situation it could be worth talking about that first and not just out of the blue while you're already there.
In case he does get an allergic reaction of some sort when you are there, it might be better to fall back to a lesser activity. The allergy could be tiring for him and an additional source of overwhelming input. As such it could be better to do something relaxing. Getting some ice cream (and maybe coffee and cake?) certainly sounds like a good idea for a fall-back activity. This would sound like a suitable moment to propose a new plan to make up for the "failed" zoo date, should things really go bad. The aquarium visit skibum proposed sounds like a good example of what could be done instead.

Good luck on Friday!

Going to a restaurant was actually the first thing i suggested but he said if we went to a restaurant he would not talk and would sit there in silence so zoo was my second suggestion. We actually don't have an aquarium in our area, unfortunately! The closest one is like 3 hours away.

A 3-hour drive might be just the thing that would help you guys get to know each other.

Ugh. Never mind this dude's psychological problems. Let's look at you, Herring. What is it about you, that you are willing to get back together with a guy who has been cyberstalking you after you dumped him and attempted to block him? That's a true danger signal about this guy, I hope this doesn't all blow up in your face. Let's say you guys get more involved but for whatever reason, you later want to break up. What does he do then, kill you?

Everyone here seems to be making nice about this situation, but I think it stinks.

I would have to agree: cyberstalking is at least somewhat troubling.

Yeah it really scared me tbh.. i almost reported him to the police :/

Be careful with him Herring. I understand that you want to give him a chance especially if he is Autistic but that is why I suggest that you take this friendship very slowly. Do not get romantic with him at this point. Keep it just a casual friendship. If he turns out to be a great guy and is genuinely confused but really cares about you and wants to learn to have good friendship and treat people well, that will show itself over time. But it will take time. Time will also show you if he is really a genuine jerk who only cares about what he wants and then if that happens, dump him for good. But let the casual friendship reveal who he is. You don't want a deep emotional connection and commitment with someone who is this unstable. So again, take it SLOWLY! Seriously, I would not kiss at all since that implies a romantic situation. I would not even hold hands at this point. Just treat him as a regular friend and see what happens. You might even do small group dates instead of just you and him. That would actually be a really good idea. Just a small handful of people like 3 or 5, an odd number so it does not imply a romantic date. That will give him practice with other people and make it so that the entire focus is not you and him. And it will also protect you if he gets weird. Give yourself time to decide whether or not he is someone you can get serious with.