difficulties getting diagnosis

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I'm actually glad that women are now being diagnosed. I can't even begin to imagine that. Women's social roles are so much more.....I don't know...something.... (Criminy, this is literally making my brain buzz and itch)

I can't find the words, but it would seem that the social roles demanded of women, even in this day and age, are so much more (that something) that would make Asperger's or Autism even more devastating without diagnosis.

This where my abilities to communicate fail miserably. It is a new concept I am trying to get out of my head. I have not seen any reference to what I am trying to communicate. Therefore, I have it in my noggin, but cannot express it. Sorry if what I tried above failed. It really is commiserating with women on the spectrum. Just a bad attempt.

They are demanding. Roles for women in society are more demanding than what is expected of men. If a man has a friend that just had a baby, he should give them a cigar (or a chocolate one since smoking is frowned on). A woman should join the food tree/freezer wagon/whatever, and make at least one meal, if not more, to bring over to the family. Not having to ask about food preferences, dietary requirements, or if the family can eat it, etc.

I, personally (diagnosed at 33, last Friday), have a hard time with the demanding roles that are placed on most women. The house cleaning, decorating, coordination of decor, holiday prep/hosting, remembering birthdays, welcoming people, hosting direct sales parties, etc. It is SO HARD. And yes, I can imagine how damaging it must have been to be called mentally ret*d when she was not. (In some ways, I think it may not be as hard as what other people go through, as mental retardation is not something a person can cause/help. VS being told you are uncaring, unfeeling, narcissistic, too cold, insensitive, lazy, unmotivated, argumentative, rebellious, and rude, all of which a person *should* be able to help).

Where do you live? 1950? All my exes complained I didn't do enough. But, the diference was this old routine.

What can I do to help?

If you don;t know, get out of the way.

Sooooo....considering what I have found out about not picking up on clues, and still trying to get those knuckleheads to tell me what they wanted, well, I dunno.

But, I can't imagine, or know, of anybody who is expected to be barefoot, pregnant, with pearls on and still bringing the dinner on time.

That's nuts. But, it also depends on work related issues and such.

It is a balance though.

Well, no pearls or pregnancy, but as a stay at home, so much more is expected. That's just part of it. The sheer number of classes, playgroups, activities, sports and more that we are expected to have our kids in, all requiring an unspoken dress and behavioral code in order to fit in.
In other words, I'm the flowering cactus in a field of prizewinning roses.

That isn't to say that men don't have expectations. But no, not as much as the stay at home suburban mom.

I dunno....I think you are being too hard on us men...

I mean we put in a solid 4 hours before our 1 hour lunch break...than a damning 4 hours after that...

Y'know....we're pooped at the end of the day..Ohhh Lava...take me away....

10 'no prize' points for people who can name the references....

I didn't fit the expectations either nor did I care.

Spinelli, I keep seeing your posts, but can't figure you out, but you intrigue me. In a very non-creepy, not-stalker way, I swear. Your view points have been thought provoking though.