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ASS-P
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27 Apr 2016, 5:12 pm

...I think you certainly overdid it ~ Certainly whan it came to " " have mercy...souls " part .


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Jamesy
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27 Apr 2016, 5:51 pm

I did a post on this already but hardly got any comments.

I made that comment on Facebook because I wanted to express how I felt but the day after I felt guilty and threatened by the hate mail from his friends.



skibum
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27 Apr 2016, 6:02 pm

Oh, I never saw the thread you made before. I guess since your previous identity was banned by the facebook police, and because it was so long ago, it would be difficult to give the guy an apology. But you can apologize to him here and who knows, maybe he will see it or hear about it. You never know. The important thing is to understand how what you did caused hurt and make an effort to make it right. I commend you for bringing it up and even talking about it and asking if it was wrong. That takes courage and that shows you have goodness in your heart. Even if he never finds out, the effort to do what is right when we make a mistake will be honored and good things will come of it.


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androbot01
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27 Apr 2016, 7:32 pm

Jamesy, you made a valid point, but it is poorly presented and to the wrong audience. I too feel that sometimes people can patronize the disabled by insincerely saying supportive things. eg. "good job!" Sometimes people have done this to me and it can be annoying. I realize that you were not saying anything against the guy with the disability, but it puts him in an awkward position. So, no evil, just bad presentation.



underwater
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28 Apr 2016, 12:39 am

Kudos for trying to learn from this experience.

This sort of message belongs on your own wall, and speaking generally and from personal experience. Don't involve other people with disabilities in it, these are your feelings. People would respect you more if you spoke from your own standing point, and you would not have hurt someone who had nothing to do with it.

I totally understand where the feelings are coming from. I remember being absolutely revolted by some of the fake praise and condescending attitudes shown to some people with disabilities. It still startles me badly when I encounter it.

With age, I started to look more for the intentions behind an action. Different people have different motivations for what they do. You should know what I am talking about - don't you yourself experience people ascribing all sorts of bizarre motivations to your actions?

I sort of came to the conclusion that a lot of people just want to be positive influences in the life of someone they assume to be having a difficult life, and they can be incredibly clumsy and thoughtless about it. That does not change the fact that the intention is good.



sharkattack
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28 Apr 2016, 1:01 am

Jamesy wrote:
This is what I wrote on a former work friends Facebook page (he has brain damage/dyspraxia)




"No one would have the sheer nerve to say this on Facebook on someones timeline except for me and I will for sure outrageous and anger a lot of you folk on here (especially his nearest and dearest) but please here me speak my wise words.
Looking through bens albums i see a lot of you friends of his, give ben a lot of nice comments and give him a rather outrageous number of likes on some of his photos. As nice as they are you are treating him as nothing more than a charity case or an object of pity. I know a lot of people with disabilities ranging from Down syndrome, dyspraxia, autism and physical disabilities. Instead of being treated like normal human beings people just feel sorry for them, without embracing there god given talents. That of course is the societal attitudes, of the ignorant masses in our so called 'fair society'
My message to you 'the masses' on here is think about your behaviour and attitudes, towards those who's behaviour you perceive to be outside the realms of the norm. You stand guilty of treating your fellow human as different in the eyes of the lord. May god will have mercy on your souls.













Was this a stupid thing to do on my part or not?


Yes very stupid thing to do and you know it.
However I have done plenty of stupid things too.

Most important thing to do here is learn and move on.