tell me your autism story

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Last night, I dreamt that all the 'friends' that have come and gone in the past ten years were all in a room with me. We were sitting there, and I told a story about a type of fish called the blowfish.

I said that the blowfish doesn't come near people often, but when it does, it feels happy and becomes motivated to take a very deep breath. Then, it blows all the air out and the person who is with him is blown away into another part of the ocean.

The grief I felt during the dream was unbelievable; I started to cry right then and there in front of my friends. I woke up and it turns out I was crying for real too.

Where to start.....
I'm 45 this year. When I was growing up I was the weird kid. I would obsess over particular areas of interest until I'd exhausted all information available to me. I was bullied, beaten and, teased all through my school life. I had few friends as a child mostly playing with my cousin who was in the same class as me. Fast forward to now. I have struggled with depression, anxiety, substance abuse and, heartbreak up until I met my wife. We have been married 13 years and have 2 beautiful children. I recieved my diagnosis on a few weeks ago. Everyting for the first time has made sense and, I am moving ahead now or at least starting to. My oldest child has also just been diagnosed as AS. I now have a purpose which is to make sure she has the opportunity to grow and develop that I never was afforded. Since telling my parents of my diagnosis there has been almost no contact with them. I still hear my mothers voice in my ear saying "my son is not a dummy".